Shared custody and effecting benefits?

mumof1and1ontheway

I am currently on income support and recieve benefits for both my children.
I am now allowing my eldests dad have my eldest from Saturday morning until Tuesday lunchtime.

He wants me to go to the solicitors to sign a form saying he has 50/50 custody, so that he can claim jsa.

I am unsure whether to do this despite tons of pressure and stress from him to sign it. As I am unsure if he can then claim my child benefit and tax credits for my eldest?

He doesnt work.. and wants to carry on seeing his eldest as much as he can. He also takes his youngest out for 2 hours a week.

I provide all nappies and wipes for when he has my eldest. And I give him 4 healthy start vouchers a month.

I know I should be giving him money towards food etc.. but have no idea how to work out how much I should give him? As he is having him just under half the week.

Also.. should I be allowing him this much contact? With recieving income support? Or am I being too kind?

I am confused and vunerable I feel at present. Due to my youngest having bad colic and my eldest hitting the terrible 2s.. lack of sleep etc etc.

I do not want to put myself into a situation I later regret.. eg, signing something I definetly should not be signing.

Sorry if I sound really stupid x

freyanneke_2

Eh no, you don't sound stupid. You sound worried and tired. Totally understandable. Don't you ever feel like you have to appologize for trying to sort out your head. Being a mum is hard sometimes and can eat at your resources.

He can't ask for child benefit without your permission. There is only one parent that can claim. Just make sure you have your child more days a week as that will make admin a lot easier.

You keep saying you should give him this and that. But to be honest, what is he giving you? You should not feel guilty about how you are doing it now and please don't give him any money. You are doing a good job. Just have a talk at a CAB and find out where you stand with your IS and other matters if the custody is equally shared. It might be in your best interest to have him registered in your care on paper. Sharing the care of a child is incredibly nice when it works and all power to you to pull it off with your ex.

Is there a reason he can't work the other half of the week?

mumof1and1ontheway

He says he wants jsa until he finds a job. but the job centre will only pay jsa if he provides a solicitors letter stating he has 50/50 custody I have been told. because he refuses to look for work for the days he has our son.
the reason I think I should be giving him money is because I get paid CB and TC for the full time care of both children. and he currently has no income.

gratefulforhelp_2

And is he paying you the £5 per week from his benefits? Is he trying hard to find work to support his children?

I wouldn't sign anything.

mumof1and1ontheway

he doesnt get jsa at the moment. they wont pay him unless he the solicitors letter and wont get rent help either. even if he worked i wouldnt be asking for maintenance tbh. its more hassle than its worth and i can afford both kids with the cb and tc

BitterAndTwisted

The cynic in me says that he's blackmailing you. He can only have his child for 50% of the week because he's not working but he can't claim JSA and not look for a full-time job because he's looking after his child. Therefore you should sign nothing, he should put in a claim for JSA and search for a full-time job and look after his child on the weekends when he's not working. I can't see how signing this 50/50 solicitor's letter is of any benefit to you whatsoever: it's not like taking care of his eldest child for half of the week could free you up to work part-time right now. The next thing you know he will be after 50% of the CB and TC while not paying you any maintenance.

JBD

I don't understand what residency of the children has to do with claiming JSA? My sister was able to claim this, and housing benefit, as a single unemployed person with no dependents.
Isn't it income support which can be claimed by parents of young children?

dmg24

mumof1and1ontheway wrote: »

he doesnt get jsa at the moment. they wont pay him unless he the solicitors letter and wont get rent help either. even if he worked i wouldnt be asking for maintenance tbh. its more hassle than its worth and i can afford both kids with the cb and tc

He can claim HB/ LHA without having any custody. This would be paid at the one bedroom rate (assuming he is 25 or over). Even if he has joint custoday, he would usually only get the two bedroom rate if he receives the relevant child benefits. Children can only be allocated to one house when deciding benefit claims.

JBD wrote: »

I don't understand what residency of the children has to do with claiming JSA? My sister was able to claim this, and housing benefit, as a single unemployed person with no dependents.
Isn't it income support which can be claimed by parents of young children?

It sounds like his claim has been sanctioned because he is unreasonably limiting his availability for work.

Gleeful

mumof1and1ontheway wrote: »

even if he worked i wouldnt be asking for maintenance tbh. its more hassle than its worth and i can afford both kids with the cb and tc

Why should the state support his kids though? He ought to be paying towards them!

mumof1and1ontheway

he refused to be available 40 hours a week 7 days a week so they cancelled his claim. and wont back pay without a solicitors letter?
tbh i dont even know whats right etc etc. my heads up my bum atm. my baby has colic and reflux and im stressed 99% of the time. ive had a hard time since birth and things like this really arnt helping
im stuck inbetween allowing him to see his kids as much as he can and with trying to sort my life out to try and gain a happy future.

gratefulforhelp_2

Well, he has brought his problems on himself, if he is not prepared to be available for work. You aren't responsible for him.