Call Me Callous if you like....but maybe i'm not.

Jowo_2

Having thought about how she can repay your outlay, I reckon if she barters with her body to reduce the balance, as she's not a 'pro', I think you are going to have to charge her at 'mates rates'.

Get any agreement in writing, though, to prevent disputes.

AliceBanned

If the cost of living alone is what concerns you - get a lodger?:)

If a guy wanted me to live with him because of this, I wouldn't want to be with him, to be honest. Sorry.:(

aliasojo

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

You women are really colonial when it comes to facing the truth!!!

WE WOULD BOTH BE BETTER OFF!!!

If you could reign your frustration in for a moment.........you are only looking at this in black and white terms. To you it all makes perfect sense but that's because you're only taking one thing into account.

Women (generally) will consider everything, and most of us become more and more risk adverse the older we get. Security is important, much more important than the thought of saving a few quid each week on the housekeeping budget.

One thing I don't understand, if the two of you have a business together, surely she will have an income from that so why do you feel you're shelling out for her independence?

Jacks_xxx

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

I have read an article on here that states the cost of living alone would total £5,000 per person per year.Doing the sums I think that that has so far cost us £50,000 between us.

If the relationship were to last in this form another 5 years that would be £100,000.What I am in fact doing is investing big licks in her independence.....which I don't particularly want her to have.

Hiya Martin :wave:

I'm having trouble following your sums. If something costs £5000 a year per person then how does £5000 x 2 people x 5 years = £100000?

Can you be more specific as to the nature of your investment in your OHs living arrangements because my advice would be if you are paying £5000 x 2 to your OH every year, you don't want to, and you don't have to, then stop.

Mustbeananswer??

Jacks_xxx wrote: »

Hiya Martin :wave:

I'm having trouble following your sums. If something costs £5000 a year per person then how does £5000 x 2 people x 5 years = £100000?

Can you be more specific as to the nature of your investment in your OHs living arrangements because my advice would be if you are paying £5000 x 2 to your OH every year, you don't want to, and you don't have to, then stop.

I did say if i subbed it another 5 years it would be £100,000.It currently stands at £50,000......

mufi

Have I missed something, or have you overlooked the small fact that if Jackie moves in with you she loses her LA house? When she tires of you, which shouldn't take long, she's highly unlikely to qualify for another.

Now let me see... low cost LA property with all the security that goes with it, plus independence, or move in with you. Hmm...

nutsohazelnuts

LadyGooGoo wrote: »

Can I just establish what payments you have made which constitute an investment in your partners independence?

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

I did say if i subbed it another 5 years it would be £100,000.It currently stands at £50,000......

Like other posters I cannot understand what these £5000 payments are and why you are making them if you do not wish to.

I am of the male persuasion and I have a good head for figures. You seem to be saying that you wish to focus on the numbers and leave all other considerations out, but there don't appear to me to be any numbers to work with.

Many of us seem willing to help but it is difficult to discern what help you require.

22225

if she lives with you and contirbutes to bills for along enough time she might be entitled to a claim on the house!!!

PasturesNew

As I see it, the £5k is the cost of: rent, council tax, phone line, TV license, insurances, standing charges for electricity/gas/water, replacement of household items, maintenance/tarting up of a place that she is paying to live separately from you. Overheads that won't need paying if she moves in with you.

But you're not subbing her are you. That's just money she'd be able to hand over to you if she gave up her house, in your strange little head that is.

You are a weird one. I'm single and thought I was weird.... I'm single because I didn't choose guys like you.

nutsohazelnuts

PasturesNew wrote: »

As I see it, the £5k is the cost of: rent, council tax, phone line, TV license, insurances, standing charges for electricity/gas/water, replacement of household items, maintenance/tarting up of a place that she is paying to live separately from you. Overheads that won't need paying if she moves in with you.

But you're not subbing her are you. That's just money she'd be able to hand over to you if she gave up her house, in your strange little head that is.

You are a weird one. I'm single and thought I was weird.... I'm single because I didn't choose guys like you.

So this is not money that the OP has paid out? The lady pays her own bills??

The source of the OP's unhappiness is that she earns her own money, maintains her own household and pays her own bills rather than move in and hand over her money and financial future to him?

The same person who said a few messages back that he might be facing bankruptcy? :eek: