Money Moral Dilemma: Should I help out my ex?

Kt8

no just leave it, stop looking at ways to still keep in contact/ have links to him
he says he doesnt want to keep in contact with you anymore so leave it.
i've read your original thread re breakup and your pain over all this a few months back and really felt for you but please. break ties. your just torturing yourself ..good luck

and also no to paying him back..sod him. he left you 6 days after booking your marriage..which means he must have been having serious thoughts before this...sounds lovely

AlwaysWorking

AUCHINDOUN wrote: »

Pity you didn't mention the reason WHY your ex left you. From information given he doesn't sound a bad bloke and was good enough to help you out in your time of need. You're also still friends which is good.

I didn't say why he left because I didn't really know until three days ago. Now I know he felt trapped when we got engaged and, instead of talking to me/a counsellor about it, he went out one week after we booked the wedding and got himself a new girlfriend and went on dates with her whilst still living in my house.

For eight months I have blamed myself for the breakup but, after speaking to the woman he cheated on me with, I realise I never knew him at all so I no longer feel any need to rush out and get a loan for him. I consider the money he gave me payment for eight months of pain and countless lies.

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to post advice. I really appreciate it. Today is the 1st day of the rest of my life. No more tears over a man who didn't exist! In MSE style, I'm heading to the jewellers at the weekend to sell the ring to pay for some DIY around the house...time I moved back home and started my new life as a singleton!!! :T

Kt8

you will look back on this and not feel a thing..and also meet the ONE for you,...promise

xx

alwe150789

This sounds fairly similar to a situation i've found myself in. In the past i have borrowed around £50 to a partner that i ended up splitting from (yes my own doing). They've refused to pay, and even kept/binned a hoodie that i lent them. Tbh as it was only £50 and they're more hassle then they're worth i've just forgotten about it...but it has really annoyed me.

However, if your ex gave you money towards the rent/bills etc, then i would say not to pay him back. But from your question it indicates to me that infact he was keeping you on your feet following a redundancy...a decent thing to do tbh.

Although if that is the case, i would definately not suggest taking out a loan for it, save the money in a saving account monthly and that way, by the time you'v got his money saved it would have earnt you interest as well..and pay paying it you won't be getting into debt, merely losing money you never really had in the first place. What he chooses to spend it on is up to him...

But if i'm right in thinking that he was decent enough to hold you up after job loss, then do the right thing and pay him back for his kindness...ESPECIALLY seeming as he doesnt even expect it!

alwe150789

AlwaysWorking wrote: »

I didn't say why he left because I didn't really know until three days ago. Now I know he felt trapped when we got engaged and, instead of talking to me/a counsellor about it, he went out one week after we booked the wedding and got himself a new girlfriend and went on dates with her whilst still living in my house.

For eight months I have blamed myself for the breakup but, after speaking to the woman he cheated on me with, I realise I never knew him at all so I no longer feel any need to rush out and get a loan for him. I consider the money he gave me payment for eight months of pain and countless lies.

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to post advice. I really appreciate it. Today is the 1st day of the rest of my life. No more tears over a man who didn't exist! In MSE style, I'm heading to the jewellers at the weekend to sell the ring to pay for some DIY around the house...time I moved back home and started my new life as a singleton!!! :T

Sorry...i posted my reply before reading this.

In my opinion, by cheating on you he forfeited that money a long time ago ! Why do something so nice to then follow it with dishonesty...maybe, and sorry to say, he only felt the need to be so kind because of his lies.

And sorry to hear that ... never a nice thing to find out.