The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!

mackeroo

Morning everyone and welcome to the board Maggiesoop, i second everything that Miss P said in her post, just take it a step at a time, i was in a very similiar position to yourself at the start of this year and 3 months in, i have made some changes for the better and with the support of this board, have kept the changes up. You need to find what works for you and along the way you wont always gert it right so allow for 'setbacks' we are only human after all. Good luck.

16 AF for me please Shaggy ~ i thought i would be first on here this morning but once again you beat me to it!

Last night i had a couple of glasses of wine which werent planned but i was upset following on from a conversation i had with my mum and i just craved some wine. Mother/daughter relationships can be so complex at times, or maybe its just mine!! Its the first time since Jan that ive reached for the bottle following on from a stress, but ive had a pretty stressful week this week and this was my straw which broke my back. But im more positive today, today is a new day and i can make it whatever i want it to be. Have a good day folks

cardboard_chewer

maggiesoop wrote: »

Hi guys
At last found the right website to discuss what I think is my drinking problem. And can't believe the entries I've read - I am not alone!

I'm of an age where I prefer to stay in most nights. Done with partying & standing in pubs, been there, done that, got the tee-shirt etc. Now I'd rather drink at home, and am luckily comfortable enough off to buy what I like without it hurting my bank account, and I don't seem to put that much weight on. But I I live alone so no one knows how often & how much I drink. Up to a year ago I used to think that drinking half a bottle of wine a night was a bit of a problem .....but now it's probably double that, maybe even more some week! I'm sure I must be harming myself. Terrible memory.... headaches....etc. just generally feeling tired. I'm never off my work and it's not that I can't function (although I do feel pretty ropey for the first hour of the day)

I just don't know how to break the habit. I always feel I deserve my first drink of the day around 6.30pm - before eating. It's usually a large g & t, then with dinner a large glass of wine then it continues ..........more over the rest of the night watching TV.

Sometimes I even go to bed tipsy,it's madness!!! I don't have hobbies or there's nothing I'm burning to get out and do so I think boredom must be a part of it. As mentioned I don't sleep particularly well either, probably as a result of the booze, so I wake with aches and pains, give myself a hard time but by 6pm I'm feeling fine so it starts all over again.

It's a vicious cycle. I don't want to give up drinking, I just want to enjoy it like but I can't seem to break this daily habit. Can anyone give me advice please.

Many alcoholics have to reach a certain low point before they feel the need to accept something has to change. I didn't end up drinking on the streets but at the end the only thing I had left was my job. Friends, family, hobbies and everything else that brought pleasure to my life had slowly disappeared over about 20 years.

Using willpower I'd stopped drinking for brief periods, maybe a few weeks at most, but this was just a green light signal in my mind that I didn't have a problem so it was OK to carry on drinking.

I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I managed to stop drinking when I got help. There are many forms of help such as this forum, AA, your GP, family etc. Try them and see if they work for you. If one way doesn't work, try another.

For me giving up drinking was nothing to do with willpower. I had to change myself as a person and only then did the urge to drink fade away.

bearacus

:hello: to maggiesoop

Some really good and heartfelt post to read through today x

I wasnt AF on friday as my husband got a promotion in work! But I had decided I was going to remain AF for the rest of the weekend. I succeeded last night (even though hubby was drinking)and I stuck to diet coke x

Shaggy another AF for me please.

Hope everyone is well and hugs to those who need them x

maggiesoop

Thankyou thankyou to everyone who posted. I was so looking forward to opening my emails this morning as I knew that there would be lots of support and advice. In fact I'm shocked at just how commonplace this problem is, but clearly there's a lot of "problem" drinkers out there and I'm so relieved that I can speak to you guys for help.

Partner came round last night with a bottle of wine (usual Saturday night) and I had my sneaky large gin&tonic prior to his arrival (as usual) so while I'm not hungover, I still didn't get a decent night's sleep - again.

The one sentence that shouted out in your replies is "I'm sick & tired of feeling sick & tired" it totally sums up how I feel half the time. Today I'm going out for a lovely long walk in the sun (I know .... Scotland.... sun... it's a miracle, its a sign!!!) then try to keep myself busy, especially around the bewitching hour. I've decided to eat earlier in the night, I usually eat at 7pm, giving me 1 hour for my "reward drinks" time, so if I make one small change to my eating pattern, if I eat earlier, I think it will take the edge off wanting a drink. So, today is the first day..... Deep breath..... here we go ....

rachelww1

Didn't drink last night and was up bright & breezy this morning and went to the gym. Also did a 10 mile bike ride yesterday with DH and DS7, but that was partially to get rid of a hangover after one too many friday night . Brings me to 11 AFD's please Shaggy.

RecoveringAlcoholic

Welcome maggiesoop. You are in the right place.

Regular readers know that I am a fan of:

Living Sober.

Some methods A.A. members have used for not drinking.

"A simple book for complicated people"

lotti379

maggiesoup - I love the phrase "bewitching hour"!

Well I have notched up another 2 AFD's since my last post, taking me up to 9 in total for this month. Nearly on target! Got to be honest, I really fancy a beer right now, Mr Lotti and a friend of his are downstairs on the xbox with beers... trying to keep busy and not let myself down!

Still quite worried about going back to my mum's for Easter time, what with uni hols and stuff I'm going to be at hers for quite a while, longer than I wanted but need to fit in with other peoples' plans. She treats not drinking as quite a bit thing... I don't feel I can say to her that I'm trying to drink as little as possible/sort of give up, and it isn't for anyone else, it is just my choice as, much as I like the taste of wine/beer/G&T etc, I'm not very nice when I drink a lot regularly. I fear it will be another cause of arguments, and we really don't need another reason to argue! Ah mother/daughter relationships....

maggiesoop

Me again, and it's 10 minutes into the "difficult time" but, after a 2 hour walk AND half an hour in the garden, I'm feeling rather pleased with myself and if I succumb to the demon so soon, I won't be able to pat myself on the back, physically or mentally! Is is recommended to put down a target of AF days right from the start or wait for a while and see how I go?

cardboard_chewer

maggiesoop wrote: »

Me again, and it's 10 minutes into the "difficult time" but, after a 2 hour walk AND half an hour in the garden, I'm feeling rather pleased with myself and if I succumb to the demon so soon, I won't be able to pat myself on the back, physically or mentally! Is is recommended to put down a target of AF days right from the start or wait for a while and see how I go?

Have a cordial/water/tea/coffee to keep yourself hydrated. When I stopped drinking alcohol I was out of the habit of drinking soft drinks so I became a little dehydrated. Just get through tonight and you’ll be OK in the morning. A lot of people experience sugar cravings as well when cutting down/giving up because the body isn’t getting the calories from alcohol anymore. Don’t worry about this, just eat some sweet food if you want. I can also recommend the book "Living Sober. Some methods A.A. members have used for not drinking.", get it off Amazon second hand for next to nothing. Good luck.

beckseven

I had a great weekend with my DH who is working away in London at the moment-mum had the kids and we spent the day sightseeing and doing lots of walking. We had a few drinks but I was fairly restrained-half a lager top was my classy tipple instead of wine. We did share a bottle of wine over dinner but felt just pleasantly tipsy instead of last weekends horrible talking rubbish, bumping into things and terrible memory loss. No hangover but did feel sluggish. AF today-didn't have a glass of wine at mum's at sunday dinner so was proud. This brings me to 8 AFDs.

Thanks maman and Miss P for your advice about SW. I feel really motivated to lose this weight now especially now I am cutting right down on drinking I think i can do this. This thread has been really great this weekend(as always of course!) with a lot of inspiring posts. Maggiesoop I hope you got your AF day today-I felt in despair last Saturday about my drinking but now i think that I am just beginning to try and regain some control. My diet starts tomorrow-I must admit I've been wolfing down popcorn in preparation!