The Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Support Thread - Numero 9!

Pippilongstocking

honeybear wrote: »

3 for me

Been diagnosed with laryngitis... *gloomy*

poor you - keep well xxx

graemecarter

jo1972 wrote: »

Well good morning all, and what a great day it is

From today I am a sober person, I can't do it anymore and don't want to, I even know that this feeling I have right now will still be here later and I will not have any bells ring as I refuse to have the bells in my life anymore.

There is lots going on in Chez Jo1972 at the moment and I've made some decisions this week that have helped me to rationalise my life, I was upset whilst picking my life apart this week, I've put it all down in writing and finally got to the bottom of why I drink and this is the reason that I can no longer do it. I am talking in riddles, I know I am, but my reasons are private to me and will be giving me strength to no longer drink on it.

I have been talking to the recovered alcoholic guy at work a lot this week and he told me his story, right from the beginning up to the present day. He had a perfectly legitimate reason to drink and I know everyone has their reasons but I think he wins hands down on the reason front (if it were actually 'winning' of course). I'm not going to say anything on here except that he is ex-forces. We both cried, him for obvious reasons and me (selfishly) for myself and for him.

And so that is the reason I decided to write it all down in black and white. All the counselling and therapy I've had over the years to find the reason I started drinking and couldn't and all it took was writing down my life from the very start, good bits, bad bits, sad bits and then read it over and it was there and now I feel relief. I now know where I have to be, I don't know how I'm gonna get there at the moment, but I know that one day I will be there.

Starting from today.

That's it, I feel free

So, who's up for a 'Free At Last Super Sunday'? (FALSS for short :cool:)

So very excited!!

I enjoyed reading that post. I hope you continue with this attitude. It's infectious and I want to catch it.:T

I only have one reason to drink and that's because I am alcoholic. It is what it is. I know people who have had horrific childhoods and not been alcoholic, and I know people very privileged and lucky with no reason to drink (like I had), and I am alcoholic.

Why am I the only alcoholic out of my siblings? I don't know, and will never know. It does me no good in trying to find the answer to the problem. I need a solution, not the answer.

Going back to my childhood etc has helped me understand myself better as a person, and that means I can 'fix' myself more easily when I feel off balance. However, I have searched hard and cannot find the reason why I am an alkie. I just am. I don't search any more. I accept I am an alkie just as much as I accept I am a man.

graemecarter

Pippilongstocking wrote: »

First AF day in a while tonight - will update my monthly total tomorrow - back home (finally) til Friday when I fly out to bother you lot

I made the mistake of thinking after half a glass of something sparkly at the wedding on sat that it was ok then to have a glass on the sunday, which lead to 3 on the monday - a bottle on the tues - I'm sure you can work the rest out - back where I started on this sat - thinking OK not needing to do this anymore.

A wise man said - one is never enough - how true.

40sm I'm 8 days down on the challenge but I'm going to keep going. xx

Catch up properly tomorrow x

That was my drinking. A craving would start that could last a week. And it only takes one drink inside me to start it off.
That's why I know I am alcoholic. Moderation was never an option for me, though I tried for 15 years to achieve it......

Pippilongstocking

ETA hello graeme - my own fault - let guard down - got complacent

I found this when checking out shoppy's link earlier: http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/articles/ mainly a female site but alot of interesting reading on there.


I particularily drew attention to the article thinking of the balancing act many people perform with job/family/life etc when they really do drink and often far too much. Everything on the outward being OK until a wee thing tips the balance - american article but very thought provoking. I think sim once asked how folk with familes etc coped when drinking - maybe its just a mechanism we develop? To function regardless until we either stop, reduce or something tips the balance.

Not that I'm saying everyone is by proxy an alcoholic (not at all) nor a high functioner (nor in this case a woman) - but the article made for very interesting reading many of the articles on there do.

The one that really made me think had a bit that began with a line from a woman with two or three children who began a blog to out her drinking:

"… I really like to drink. I like the way wine softens the edges, smoothes out the line between "their time" and "my time," helps me to feel relaxed, helps me tune out. But I drink too much. I drink seven nights a week. Sometimes just a glass of wine but usually two or even three. I always seem to have some sort of excuse like "today was an exceptionally stressful day so I deserve an extra glass now that it's all done … For me, it's become a nightly compulsion and I'm outing myself to you; all of you: I have a problem."

http://www.babble.com/hitting-bottle-tipsy-mommy-blogger/

I'll stop now - just found the site an interesting one not meaning to offend anyone - made me think.

Oh and I'm AF tonight - making me a total of 9 for the month

StressedOutSue

Hi all

Thanks to Jo and Shaggy for the best wishes for today. First day was difficult - left home at 8:00 am, back at 6:30 pm, which is a long day. DD2 has probably got glandular fever - DH taking her to hospital for blood tests tomorrow. Oh dear, this is so hard, I'd much rather be at home with her. She'll probably need about 6 weeks off school, and she's doing AS levels this year. And I forgot that DD3 had an orthodontist appointment. I'll give the job until Thursday (4 days per week) and see how things are going - if I feel I'm needed at home, I'll leave.

Hope everybody is OK tonight. Hope HB feeling a bit better. Love the new name, Fay!!!

13 AFDs for me, please, Shaggy
1st day of the 4 day challenge completed, thanks, Pen

Night night

xx

patman99

I have never been an alcoholic, but I did enjoy a pint of Adnams down the pub at the end of the week. Well, as of mid-September I switched to drinking soft drinks, and I still find I can wind-down just as easily at the end of the week.

graemecarter

Pippilongstocking wrote: »

ETA hello graeme - my own fault - let guard down - got complacent

I found this when checking out shoppy's link earlier: http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/articles/ mainly a female site but alot of interesting reading on there.


I particularily drew attention to the article about the high functioning alcoholic thinking of the balancing act many people perform with job/family/life etc. Everything on the outward being OK until a wee thing tips the balance - american article but very thought provoking. I think sim once asked how folk with familes etc coped when drinking - maybe its just a mechanism we develop? To function regardless until we either stop, reduce or something tips the balance.

Not that I'm saying everyone is by proxy an alcoholic nor a high functioner (nor in this case a woman) - but the article made for very interesting reading many of the articles on there do.

The one that really made me think had a bit that began with a line from a woman with two or three children who began a blog to out her drinking:

"… I really like to drink. I like the way wine softens the edges, smoothes out the line between "their time" and "my time," helps me to feel relaxed, helps me tune out. But I drink too much. I drink seven nights a week. Sometimes just a glass of wine but usually two or even three. I always seem to have some sort of excuse like "today was an exceptionally stressful day so I deserve an extra glass now that it's all done … For me, it's become a nightly compulsion and I'm outing myself to you; all of you: I have a problem."

http://www.babble.com/hitting-bottle-tipsy-mommy-blogger/

I'll stop now - just found the site an interesting one not meaning to offend anyone - made me think.

Oh and I'm AF tonight - making me a total of 9 for the month

Great post Fay - I liked this bit in the article:

++++++Several characteristics that can help people recognize themselves as high-functioning alcoholics:

¶They have trouble controlling their intake even after deciding that they will drink no more alcohol than a given amount. That was written about me

¶They find themselves thinking obsessively about drinking — when and where and with whom they will drink next. Not so much, but I would put myself in situations where it was acceptable to drink


¶When they drink, they behave in ways that are uncharacteristic of their sober self. 100% yes

¶They experience blackouts, unable to remember what took place during a drinking bout. I believe blackouts occasionally happened to me to spare me from the worst humiliation of being drunk as a skunk. I drank to blackout regularly

“It’s not the number of drinks that defines an alcoholic,” Ms. Benton said. “It’s what happens to you when you’re drinking.”
+++++++

365days

Sue that all sounds such a nightmare. Hope you find a way to make the right decision,

Fay- great link. Agree with GC I couldn't control my intake (drunken stumble to the corner shop for another bottle of wine anyone?)
The things I did when drunk haunt me still. Maybe haunt is too strong a word but they certainly seem like another person entirely.
Regularly couldn't remember what I had done or said.

I remember choosing a venue for my sons christening party that had a bar even though the other venue was much nicer. Spent the day downing double vodka's.

I'm 8 days away from my 1 year sober and it's good for me to remind myself what it REALLY was like.

jo1972

Morning all, in a bit of a rush so can't stop.

Fay, I'll read your link a bit later when i've time to absorb

Just wanted to post quick to give Sue a ((((hug)))), it was going to be difficult anyway, what with new people, new place of work, new role and extra big hugs to you for having a crap at home at the same time too.....however, don't let this crap at home confuse you about the job you are doing. It's not for me to say, but I'd give it a month at least, I'd actually say 3 months....4 days isn't enough, espesh if your DD is not well at home. Sorry, hope I've not upset...just don't want you to give something up that potentially you will settle down into and enjoy and then regret it?

What does everyone else think?

Anyway, as I said, must dash, sarnies to make!

God it feels great to be unhungovered, cept I had a similar dream and woke up at 12.20am this morning terrified :eek:

xx

randomname_3

Good morning all,

I've just been reading the past day's posts. People have been sharing some wonderful experiences and giving some really powerful messages. I hope we can all gain from the sentiments shared.

Sim, I hope you can keep going this time I know you understand your troubles and I know you can overcome them.

Jo, You're doing so well, don't worry about the dreams - they will go away in a couple of days. Don't forget your body has been punished for a long time and it will take a little while to recover.

SOS I agree with Jo, give the new job a fair chance, Youe domestic problems will soon be behind you and matters will only improve.

HB Keep nice and warm, lots of liquid and you will soon feel better.

I'm well in to my 2nd week of afness and am experiencing the void left by an absence of alcohol. As someone said a few days ago though, the void was always there and the drink only hides it so I'm working on some lifestyle changes to fill the gap.

Pen 2 ' please.

Shaggy 13 for October so far please.

RN