Registry Office vs Church Marriage

Savvy_Sue

I don't know why you're limiting your choice to the local church or the local register office. As lots of others have said, you can get married in many different places now!

Is the hotel you used to work at really the ONLY other possibility?

Non-conformist churches have individual positions on marrying those who've been divorced, and on marrying those who aren't Christians. Some have their own Authorised Person, in others as inkie says you'd have to get a registrar in.

Slightly OT (but only slightly!) DH used to be an Authorised Person for our church before we moved, so we're both reasonably genned up on what needs to happen to make a wedding legal. In August he was asked to lead the service for a couple from church who were getting married at a nearby hotel. It was very personal to them, not at all rushed (and that bride also wore red!)

The service went well, and the music struck up for the happy couple to process out of the marquee, which they duly did. While I sat there and thought "Please, dear God, tell me he hasn't forgotten to get them to sign the register! Please, dear God, tell me he hasn't forgotten the legal stuff!"

And I wasn't alone, because DH was promptly accosted by the groom's father, who is a church minister and knew how important the legal stuff is! At which point DH explained that the happy couple had in fact been legally married all week, having taken themselves off to a registry office to deal with that side of things. Not sure whether they hadn't been able to get a registrar for 'the big day' or what.

DH had wanted to tell us all this as part of the service, but the happy couple were adamant that THIS was their wedding day, and the legal bit didn't matter. It gave me a few nasty moments, I can tell you!

Becles

There's 5 pages of places to get married in Norfolk here:
http://www.hitched.co.uk/venues/bycounty.asp?cty=Norfolk

Your other half is in London? There will be plenty of venues there too.

Or keep it small with close friends/family, and all go someplace else for the wedding. That's what we did, and even including a weekend of accomodation, it worked out cheaper than having a traditional wedding here!

black-saturn

Becles wrote:

There's 5 pages of places to get married in Norfolk here:
http://www.hitched.co.uk/venues/bycounty.asp?cty=Norfolk

I'm not in Norfolk, I'm in Suffolk. Those venues are all miles away from me.

black-saturn

BungleGirl wrote:

I know that church and although I don't go there I can tell you that I know some really lovely people that do. They work very hard for their community and very pointedly not just for the members of their congregation. I also know fantastic people at London Road Baptist Church and Gunton Baptist church. I don't think that a church is about bricks and mortar - it is about the welcome feeling that you get from the people there.

I know some of the people there too. My daughter is in the same class as the vicars daughter at school. I know they are nice people. Never before have I met a vicar who knows the names of everyone in their parish even if they don't go to church!!

Becles

black-saturn wrote:

I'm not in Norfolk, I'm in Suffolk. Those venues are all miles away from me.

Sorry I don't know the area and thought Lowestoft was in Norfolk

Here's the Suffolk page which also has 5 pages of wedding venues, with 3 in Lowestoft itself. As I said I don't know the area, so don't know where the others are in relation to you.
http://www.hitched.co.uk/venues/bycounty.asp?cty=Suffolk

Astrolabe

If you have a favourite place in the countryside why not try having an outdoor ceremony? My OH and I chose a humanist ceremony, with a celebrant from the British Humanist Association, and we got married outdoors at Nine Ladies Stone Circle in the Peak District, which is totally gorgeous. We wrote our own vows with the help of the celebrant, and exchanged rings in front of 40 of our close friends and family. We toppped it off with a catered picnic and can honestly say it was a wonderful day. We did the "legal bit" a couple of days before at the local registery office, but consider the day we made our pledges to each other in the open air the day that we got married. It was very relaxed and we (and our guests) had a great time.

The BHA do a booklet with loads of advice and suggestions for wording, even if you don't want one of their celebrants to help. Here are our wedding vows as an example:

"I promise to be your partner for life,
I will respect and cherish you,
support and encourage you, and love you with all my heart.
I will share my hopes and dreams with you,
and will try to bring happiness and laughter thoughout our lives,
whatever the future may hold"

I can't imagine having a different sort of wedding, it was fantastic to do and say it exactly as we wanted, so if it appeals at all to you, Black Saturn, I'd be happy to point you in the right direction or send you our ceremony wording.

Janey51

Hi BS. Aren't weddings stressful in the planning?
My OH and I are pagans and we were married in our garden surrounded by friends and family by two pagans who are authorised to conduct legal wedding ceremonies. It didn't cost anything apart from the licence and the buffet which everyone contributed to.
It was a fantastic, peaceful day. Everything was very dignified and many of our friends had a part to play in the ceremony.
I know its not to everyone's taste or belief system but as long as what you decide is special to you then go with your heart.
Whatever god (or goddess) you believe in will guide you.

black-saturn

Becles wrote:

Sorry I don't know the area and thought Lowestoft was in Norfolk

Here's the Suffolk page which also has 5 pages of wedding venues, with 3 in Lowestoft itself. As I said I don't know the area, so don't know where the others are in relation to you.
http://www.hitched.co.uk/venues/bycounty.asp?cty=Suffolk

Thanks for that. I don't think I could afford to get married at any of those venues. I'm contacting my local church today.

Rachie_B

where will you be having the reception ? often, venues will discount if you have the ceremony & reception in the same place

also many discount if on a weekday

we got married on a friday in the summer holidays and saved 10%

Glad

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