Registry Office vs Church Marriage

cupid_s

Squidgy wrote:

Sorry if I repeat anything I didn't get a chance to read all the posts. We got married in a church outside our parish. You have to have permission from your local vicar and you have to have your banns read in both churches. I'm sorry to say that unless you have special permission from the church, as your other half is divorced it is unlikely that you can get married in church. Not impossible, just unlikely.

Squidge x

I got married in a church outside my parish, also outside the entire district. I did not need permission from my local vicar and only had the banns read in one church - the one I was getting married in. I didn't really have a local church or vicar so I don't know in what other church they could have done it.

Also the church I got married in was very happy to marry divorcees. You just need to find a more open-minded church.

black-saturn

Well I received a phonecall from the vicar of the church I wanted to get married in last night and he said that he does not marry people who live outside his parish. Unfortunately I am JUST outside it. He also said that there wasn't a church in this town which would marry me as far as he knew. So today I will contact my local church (horrible modern brick building, looks more like a council office) and see what they say.

redsetter03

Hello Black Saturn,
I`ve been married twice, and both were very different.

Wedding number 1- the husband in question was divorced.
My villahe vicar wouldn`t marry us, but we approached a vicar in another village who said he would perform a blessing for us in our village church.
We had to have a registry offive wedding firet, and then we went onto the church for a blessing with this other vicar.
It worked quite well, apart from the fact we to dash from one place to another, but that was our choice to have the two ceremonies one after the other.

Wedding number 2-
Best ever!
This time me and my intended decided to get married secretly.
I contacted Historic Scotland, and planned the wedding at a tiny chapel on the Isle of Iona.
The minister on the island wouldn`t marry us, but our village vicar (who has moved away now unfortunately-we do miss him!) was more than happy to do it, even though i was divorced.
So, we paid for his b and b, and he travelled up to do the deed.
We got married at 6.00pm, with only 4 guests and with a vicar that wore motorcycle leathers and had tatooes.
If you can find a vicar that is sympathetic to your situation, in my experience, they will travel to another church to marry you.
I would suggest trying that route first, and then contact different churches to see if they would let you do that arrangement.

Good luck!

cupid_s

black-saturn wrote:

Well I received a phonecall from the vicar of the church I wanted to get married in last night and he said that he does not marry people who live outside his parish. Unfortunately I am JUST outside it. He also said that there wasn't a church in this town which would marry me as far as he knew. So today I will contact my local church (horrible modern brick building, looks more like a council office) and see what they say.

where do you live bs?

missk_ensington

Black Saturn- I have always viewed you with highest regard but this post infuriates me.

Relating to another thread also on this area of the forum whcih also infuriates me:-Do you believe in God? If so why don't you go to Church? If not how can you even suggest marrying in a Church?

We have all but lost the meaning of love and marriage- marriage is to seal your love and commitment for your to-be husband and the purpose of doing it in Church is because you want it doing in the presence of God. NOT because the alternative is an ugly concrete building!

And if any local church accepts you to be married, that makes them just as bad.

"Psalms: 'A hypocrite is worse than a non-believer"

black-saturn

cupid_stunt wrote:

where do you live bs?

I'm in Lowestoft.

black-saturn

missk_ensington wrote:

Relating to another thread also on this area of the forum whcih also infuriates me:-Do you believe in God? If so why don't you go to Church? If not how can you even suggest marrying in a Church?

I'm not but my bf is. Also all the weddings me and him have ever been to in a registry office don't last as long as the ones in a church. It's like doing the job halfheartedly. If other people have preferences as to what they want it's up to them. I know what things I want and I will do my best to make them happen if I can.

LizD_2

Civil ceremonies legally can last up to half an hour. We've chosen a old barn with a license, as it suits us perfectly. DF wanted a church wedding for similar reasons to you, but as he's an agnostic and I'm broadly-speaking a Pagan, I don't think it would have happened!

I don't know if you are a Pagan, but have you considered a 'handfasting'? It's not legally recognised yet (plans were afoot for celebrants to be licensed, rather than venues). I imagine you could have it last as long as you wanted, as the celebrant would basically marry you and you could then do what you wanted, music, dancing, whatever!

Good luck, I hope you'll be happy together whatever you decide.

missk_ensington

I can understand that but there must be a more suitable way of lengthening the service than lending yourself to a religion you don't follow or believe. It is like going to church because the Catholic School is better than the local Primary, it undermines the Church and undermines God by using It/Him as a tool for bettering your own lives.

Ok, rant over!!

cupid_s

As I said I got married in a Unitarian church. I am not sure if there are any nice ones near you - have a look here:
http://www.unitarian.org.uk/local_eastanglia.htm
I found that everyone at mine was very friendly and open-minded and would let divorcees get married there so if you and your boyfriend did want a church wedding it might be worth checking out. Most meeting houses are not too pretty but the one in norwich is very lovely. The Unitarians are very liberal and often the churches will perform same sex blessings! As long as you believe in God they impose no restricitons on creed or most other things. They are great (and I'm not on commission)

I can understand the thing people have been saying about non-religious people getting married in churches being hypocritical. But you do not have to be religious to want to be married in front of god and so many people seem to think 'church' means the CofE or catholic church which it isn't necessarily