Registry Office vs Church Marriage

black-saturn

wigginsmum wrote:

Try starting a weekly menu thread, hun

Never again after the last time will I start a menu thread. I'm still trying to work out a weekend when I will be kidless to meet you in Stratford (I wouldnt want to inflict my kids on you).

wigginsmum

I reckon I could cope with them ... as long as I get the seat nearest the door

LeanneF

black-saturn wrote:

The main reason I want a church wedding is it lasts longer.

BS,

Weddings bring out the very best and worst in people. Couples who want a church wedding for any reason other than wanting to be married before God come in for harsh, and at times vicious, criticism. There'll be raised eyebrows and you may feel defensive about your choice.

But remember, the ceremony will only be part of the day, you'll have the reception, speeches & party too. There'll be plenty of time to enjoy the attention...although I'd suggest you might spend the day worrying that everything is going to plan too...it's certainly not a restful day! Also, your guests will be more interested in getting to the party after...a common question from my non-Catholic friends was 'How long will the church bit last?'

Either way, perhaps you should visit the Priest at both your local parish church and the one you're interested in soon. You'll find out more about the service and the requirements of the parish Priest...it may be that you can only have the blessing there and the ceremony at the registary office anyhow.

Leanne

margaretclare

black-saturn wrote:

The main reason I want a church wedding is it lasts longer. For once attention will be on me. I never get attention given to me as I'm always too busy giving it to someone else. It will be nice to get a few minutes of ME time before they all go back to thinking about themselves again.

You don't have to have a church wedding for it to last longer. I've been to 2 lovely civil weddings that 'lasted longer' - one was at Kedleston Hall, a stately home in Derbyshire, the other was at a hotel, also in Derbyshire. Friends and family members did readings, others played instruments, children sang. The only proviso for a civil wedding is that there must be no prayers, no mention of God, so even 'Ave Maria' is out because it's a prayer. In other words all the readings, poems etc must be secular.

Margaret

margaretclare

Bobbyssqueeze wrote:

It doesn't matter if you have church or not, it's the promises that are important. People who say they don't believe in religion always celebrate Christmas & Easter and attend religious ceremonies, and people who say they're christians should check how many commandments they stick to, because that's what being christian is all about. If you break just one commandment there is no way you're a christian, but people don't understand this! MY b/f is muslim and we have religious talks and it's interesting to see the hypocrisy when people say theyre this or that!

I completely disagree that 'if you break just one commandment there is no way that you're a Christian'. What a counsel of perfection!! If we broke no commandments at all we would be so perfect that we wouldn't need any religion at all. Remember: 'All have sinned and come short of the glory of God'. We all sin, one way or another, every day of our lives. We don't claim to be 'perfect' - how could we? We believe that there was only One perfect person who ever walked this earth, and the fact that we are not and cannot be perfect, because we're human, doesn't mean we can't call ourselves His followers and His friends.

I am afraid you have completely misunderstood 'what being a Christian is all about'!

Further, I disagree that 'those who say they don't believe in religion always celebrate Christmas and Easter'. Many people keep a version of Christmas but leave the central person out of it. It's all about spending money, an excuse for a spendfest, extra time off work, a day to pig out and watch old films on TV. The same for Easter - those who don't believe in religion treat it simply as another Bank Holiday, extra time off work, time to watch sports, those kind of things. I have never seen or heard of anyone who says they don't believe in religion turning up at their local church for the Last Hour on the Cross on Good Friday for example. Or joyously singing in church on Easter Sunday morning: 'Christ the Lord is risen today - Alleluia!' I see many people about in the streets on the holiest days in the Christian calendar, and many of them are doing anything but things to do with religion. Going to the pub, going to the betting-shop, you name it. Most don't even know what day it is, except that it's just another Bank Holiday when they can stay off work.

Margaret

wigginsmum

Bobby - at the risk of derailing this thread, if you're a Christian you have the Holy Spirit within you teaching you truth; when you are born again He takes up residence, just as Jesus promised. It's not just mental assent to a list of commandments. Yes obedience is important and it's what Christians aim for (and know instinctively when they've failed), but for the times you mess up, that's where grace and forgiveness come in. Forget the dictionary - try reading the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15, and then read Romans and Galatians on those concepts. Hopefully then it will broaden your understanding.

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. 1 John 1:5-10

black-saturn

Please don't derail this thread.

wigginsmum

Okay, hun - I'll leave it there

wigginsmum

Bobby - you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. If you want to discuss this further, send me a PM, okay?

margaretclare

Bobbyssqueeze wrote:

Christian: 1. of, pertaining to, or derived from Jesus Christ or His teachings. If you're a Christian you follow the teachings of Christ. Christ taught the updated commandments, in the New Testament. If you don't keep these standards then you don't follow His teachings. You can't have it both ways or alter things to suit yourself!! If you want to show another version of the dictionary meaning, please do so!!!

Sorry, BS, the thread has already been hi-jacked and not by me. I can't let this pass. As Christians we do follow the teachings of Christ to the best of our ability but always knowing that, as Paul wrote: 'we see through a glass darkly....but then face to face', in other words recognising that we will never be perfect as long as our time on this earth lasts. Remember the story of the Good Samaritan, He told that story in answer to those who asked 'Who is my neighbour?' when he gave those two commandments, the second of which is 'to love your neighbour as yourself'. Very, very difficult to do, but we do our inadequate and imperfect best.

Remember how He spoke about 'when the King shall come in glory....' - that's in Matthew's gospel and was read at my first husband's funeral. 'I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink.....and the righteous shall answer 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink?' And the King shall answer: Inasmuch as you did it to the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did it to me'.

I have only recently found a charity which attempts to help trafficked women in the sex industry. And I read about a nun who is setting up a house of refuge for these poor creatures. She said 'It is a drop in the ocean but I have to do something'. She has about 12 beds available and there are thousands who need them. I've been moved by pity to donate to this charity - it's called the Poppy Trust - and whatever I can do will never be enough. But I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do anything at all.

Margaret