Registry Office vs Church Marriage

JWM

Well we were married in a registry office as neither of us believe in religion, but that was a tiny part of a wonderful day. The highlight for us was all our friends and family (250 people!) gathering for the party afterwards!

Of course its up to you, there are some great venues to be wed in these days - just remember its YOUR day, you and Hubby 2 Be should do exactly what you want and not be pressurised by anyone (especially relatives!)

Best of luck what ever you decide.

PS Congratulations to seven-day-weekend!

black-saturn

seven-day-weekend wrote:

.

It's our 35th wedding anniversary today!

Congratulations :j :beer: :j :beer: :j

raggy_2

Hubby and I married in a register office, down south, while on holiday. Just upped and did it on a whim. He wore Levis, I was barefoot.

Our kids were with us, a cleaning lady and a receptionist. We had a ball! No family, no friends, heavenly.......:p

I love churched, went every Sunday all my childhood, I have no issues with the good Lord, one way or another.

Our 'wedding breakfast' was at the KFC, over the road. Our wedding photos were taken with a Max Spielman disposable camera.

When we returned home, my dad had a fit, insisting on a 'wedding do' thing, exactly four weeks later. I hated it. Sooooo glad I didn't have the whole shebang.

Church/register office = personal choice.

Good luck whatever you decide:T

cupid_s

Also forgot to say that the church we picked was not our lcoal one in fact it was in a different district to where me and hubby were living. So we had to get extra forms signed so we could marry outside the district. But there were no problems with regards to it not being our local one.
The vicar could probably tell you more though.
The church sounds beautiful by the way I'm sure the wedding day will be wonderful

Jamz

Neither my fiancee or i are religious so we are having a Civil ceremony on a beach in Mexico next march can't wait.

Rachie_B

yes civil ceremonies are shorter than church weddings but still able to personalise, with readings,music etc

good luck with choosing a venue whatever you decide

seven-day-weekend

black-saturn wrote:

Before I met my intended I didn't think there was any need to get married. But now I want to show the world how much we mean to each other.

Can't think of any better reason to get married.

To me (and I stress this is purely how I would feel), living together without being married would not be special enough.

LeanneF

BS,

One thing to consider with the church wedding is the cost. CoE churches may charge to perform the ceremony. There is no 'fixed' rate and seems to range from £100 to over £700, with around £300 being the average. You will also have to pay for organist, choir, bells, flowers, orders of service etc.

Catholic churches do not charge for the ceremony but request a donation (you also have to pay the organist & other extras & there might be a small admin fee). One of you will have to be Catholic in order to marry in a Catholic church though but since they don't recognise divorce, I doubt they'd marry you anyway.

Some civil ceremonies can seem more 'souless' than a church wedding...I went to one once where the registrant actually talked about divorce during the preamble to the vows...but it is possible to make your own vows and add your own readings. With a church wedding you'll have to use religious texts and music (no Robert I'm afraid). There might even be restraints on what you wear, some Priests/Vicars don't like the current fashion for strapless dresses & bare shoulders. Also, in Catholic churches at least, during the Marriage rite just before the marriage vows you take an additional vow to bring up any children you may have in the Catholic faith. This will only be left out if you are an older couple (I don't know if the same vow is made in a CoE church).

It seems obvious, but the text in a church wedding is very religious. And it's not as simple as whether or not you believe in God, you also have to believe in Jesus and that Jesus was the son of God. My husband & I are both Catholic, we were bought up Catholic there was never any doubt we'd get married in a Catholic church. However, reading through the Mass text & knowing that we'd make vows on the assumption we believed the words lead to lots of discussion on our own faiths. We decided against a Nuptial Mass (ie no Holy Communion) and chose hymns where the sentiment was universal and did not require belief in God & Jesus. Many of our friends are secular and a good few are atheist, I thought it'd be strange to make them sing about stuff they didn't believe in.

Have a look online for a transcript of an appropriate Church service & readings. It might help your decision.

Leanne

PS...If you think the Church/Civil ceremony debate is controversial, wait till you start thinking about the gift list/no gift/voucher/cash debate!

inkie

Many of our friends are secular and a good few are atheist, I thought it'd be strange to make them sing about stuff they didn't believe in.

The flip side of this would be that as a Christian, by having 'chistian content' in your wedding you are sharing your faith....

If you go for a non C of E wedding, the cahnces are you will have to have a registrar there, which will bump up the cost. However, I do not charge for weddings at my church as it's all part of what church is about.

hobbesy_2

Or you could go down the humanist route. You and hubby to be will need to do the legal bit at the register office, then your actual 'wedding' would be performed by a humanist registrant who would work with you to make the wedding exactly how you want it and perform it pretty much anywhere.

Takes all the hassle of finding a licensed venue out of the picture, and therefore options up your options for location and also means you can have the wedding part more tailored to suit your feelings on marriage and what it means to you

Keri -x-