Life after bankruptcy?

kerri_gt

beanielou wrote: »

Did you have a troll ani?
Must have missed them?

Wasn't there a troll in 3 billy goats gruff? was that the one where it ended up down a well...serves it right

btw, bit hugs Ani, apologies for being AWOL again, I acutally haven't been on here since Tues at least and I must now go confess my sins on the NSD thread

Erme

recoverydust wrote: »

Hi Erme, how are you
are you in the US?
xxx
dusty

Nope I'm in the UK ....Poor God forsaken country in judgement

ani_26 wrote: »

Maybe that's why i am so lost, as i don't have anything. Except my principles. And where did they ever get me?

I'm sorry, but you're never going to convert me to christianity, in which case, i'll probably go to hell, as my ex neighbours kept telling me would happen if i didn't accept god into my life. Is that why this person called god keeps hurting me?

I don't know. I know what the catechism and the Bible says but I don't think that's going to help you right now ani . Hugs. Know regardless of what I believe (and you believe) I'm here for you and I care.

Sorry to hear about your troll...I need to get out my whip and my hair bands LOL...(violence? Did I say violence against a troll? No just chastising .)

Reading your blog makes me realise how lucky I am to have such good support and a nice warm flat etc. Maybe I don't have £ in the bank but that's my own fault.

I just wonder if (call this stupid and slap me if you need to) you're depressed right now Ani and it would be worth going back to the docs for some help on that matter?

Me I'm not sleeping :rotfl:. It hath a name - too much :coffee LOL

E

recoverydust

I just wonder if (call this stupid and slap me if you need to) you're depressed right now Ani and it would be worth going back to the docs for some help on that matter?

It may just be worth thinking about what Erme says, Ani. I hope you have a good weekend. Its dry bright and cold up here, maybe you'll get out in your garden xxx
dusty

beanielou

I thought you were on AD's ani.
Must be confused as usual.

ani_26

Healthwise, i don't know what i am, at the moment. All i know is, i'm in pain, and there needs to be resolution as to what is causing the pain.

I haven't closed this diary yet, and maybe i should let it run its course, as there are still, as always, mini crises, in my life. The latest mini crisis being from the benefit which has now stopped, ( hopefully.) Despite numerous letters and appeals from wr, they haven't replied, apparently, to one single letter, and have continued taking back enormous amounts of money from my benefit, despite the fact they said they wouldn't. Now they can't take it from my benefit, i've received a letter, ( my oh my, that was fast, to say they haven't replied to any of ours,) to say the remaining monies must be paid IMMEDIATELY. Or else? :rotfl: Plonkers. Back to the grindstone tomorrow, and more emails. Do i care? sigh. I think i can hear wr reply ringing in my ears already. Don't agree to pay anything. There we go. I'm an expert.


For now, maybe i'll make a transition between the two diaries? There's only 500 posts left? The good and the bad. Where's the ugly? I could answer that, but i won't. I am already unhappy with the name of my new diary, ( as i did it spontaneously,) but maybe it's because of what happened, and now i feel sad i rose to the bait, because it was bait. Someone, as ever, picks on one word you have used to describe how YOU feel about something, makes it difficult to write spontaneoulsy, if you are having to police your own writing, before it is policed by someone else, and used in evidence against you. I should have known, when someone replied within one minute? i know it was very quickly. That just doesn't happen. However, i AM vulnerable, and as such, i don't always react normally, or as i used to, as my coping mechanisms have all but broken down. After all, i am ill, in whatever way you perceive. In fact, i can't even work out what time it is this morning. Now has everything changed automatically? I guess so, because it was light outside. But i'm still confused.


I guess i've forgotten to put a link to my new diary here :-


https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4253231




although i am not putting a link to my old diary.

ani_26

Maybe it's not such a bad idea to have two diaries? It wasn't intentional, but most of the time, the bad overtakes everything else, iyswim, and i don'twant to talk about all the carp, all the time.


Todays carp. Back to wr to deal with letter from god saying you must pay immediately. Cheeky *' s. They've already helped themselved to two thirds of what they say i owe, despite the fact they haven't responded to any communication from wr. They sent the letter immediately when it comes to claiming money from someone else. So there is someone awake in those offices, then?


It's strange. I now lead the sort of life you did, decades ago, before the age of credit and all that. If you don't have the money, you don't have it. Which includes a roof over your head. In truth, i am probably fairly disorganised with money right now, as i haven't had the same income for two consecutive weeks, for years now, ( which includes being on benefits.) I have debts which are out of my control and i no longer care or even know the total of my debt. I give up on that one. The ha made a comment to me months ago.Why are you worried about being in debt? Everyone is in alot more debt than you. More than likely, true. But it's not that i have been spending beyond my means. I haven't had any means. I still don't know what my income is. Pah. Its all unsettling, and the battle, i'm sure, will start again, next month.

I don't know where that came from. I'm not sleeping well again thanks to the clocks changing? Seems like mse hasn't caught up, either.

ani_26

And so it continues. A letter from god everyday since, which only confirms they don't have a clue what they are talking about. I've decided to step up the action again re the ct as they too, are in a world of their own. I want to know what has happened to my " missing " ct payments. Exactly what has happened to them and then i'll let the is sort that one out. There is no way i can still owe them money. The day of reckoning tomorrow, when i check my account? And so the fight continues. Sigh

ani_26

That post has just got me thinking, and to me, it's very sad. Earlier this year i was told in order to continue and " keep up " with work and targets, i would have to compromise everything i believe in. In other words. Cheat. If you can't beat them, join them. The whole industry is " bent " as i see it now, as everbody cheats and manipulates, and as i see it, the industry has become a farce and not a true reflection, as it should be. I am not willling to do this, nor can i compete with those who " bend " the rules, " cheat, in easy words, I can't provide a living for myself as reputation alone, isn't enough to pay the bills, so i now regretfully, don't have the job i have loved for decades. Well, not all the time, and definitely not these days. So how far do you have to compromise yourself? I am happy with my decision re my job, and i'm unlikely to be employed again. You only have to look at the job market.


I was watching that programme the other night about food banks. Who would get to the point they would need to visit a food bank? I've been there. So have many others. They can run out of food within 3 hours. Even so, people still manage to manipulate the system.

Someone told me the other day i have to stop thinking about things which upset me. Take Madagascar, for instance, all the things which i think, Why? And xmas. Everyone is constantly talking about xmas. If you get through xmas, it's followed by new years eve, and this night has the highest suicide rates of the whole year. Why? The prospect of another yet another year?

ani_26

Just setting out in life but a bit low on income at the moment? Setting out and low on income, but it's still difficult when people say you should be postive, because there's more to it than that. How to overcome the thoughts which won't go away, and it's always more difficult at this time of year. I'm sure the long ( or is that short?) dark days, don't help, either.

The benefits seem finally to have been sorted this week? But for how long, this time? No one is taking note or responding to the appeals, ( as ever,) but i'll leave that with wr. Except the letters continue, and i still have to keep sending copies of letters. The latest yesterday, with more payments being taken from my benefits already, despite appeals they don't acknowledge. I'm still not sure of the total of my debts, and still don't care, but going on the time periods all the amounts which are being taken, it's possible i could finally be debt free, ( again,) in august 2013? That's all the debts, i think? The debts i didn't willfully incur. I don't spend what i haven't got, and i certainly would never borrow, again. Not that anyone would lend to me. I'm not bothered about having a credit card, although it would be useful to build my credit rating and for emergencies? But emergencies invariably lead to debt. I don't think anyone could live more frugally, as i still count my blessings for the 10p shop. Talking of which, i bought 4 litres of milk and a HUGE bag of leeks, for 10p each, yesterday. I am thinking macaroni cheese with leeks? But i've also seen that recipe for cheese and onion pie minus pie, ( or pastry.) Potato, cheese and leek pie? I have lots of all three.


Yes, i have a roof over my head for now, ( i don't ever take it for granted, long term, ) a car which is problematic, to say the least, which is either on or off road, at any given time. All the seals from around the drivers door have now rotted and fallen apart, and it now rains onto the drivers seat, too. Even when you are driving along. Pah. Old cars are a bottomless pit. How far do you continue throwing money? I am still not going to have another car, once ani has gone. The bus service has just been cut back again, before the new cuts are in place. I seriously need transport to get out of this god forsaken place. Taxis on a regular basis? No. I need to search THE scrapyard, for seals. The last time i bought seals, years ago, it cost £800 for the roof, alone. I've been watching classic car rescue. They manage to procure any number of parts. I spend most of my disposable income on ani, as ever, ( apart from plants,) but then i am finding it more difficult to go out, and i'm going out less and less, and without ani, i'd probably be housebound. Not that i go far, just a few miles, has now become my limit, as i now question my capability to drive.


I am missing the gardening, but it has always been important to me to keep my brain functioning, ( such as it is, :rotfl:) I have finally started on the long, slow and painful process of unpacking this place, as i'm fed up of its current state, and everything needs rearranging, and the kitchen needs " finishing". Decorating, and that vital? missing, component, of a kitchen. A cooker. Yorkshire puds, f & c...........................

Birdwatching

ani_26

It's so strange, the way you come across with the written word, the internet, life and all that. The charity has said they will come with me to future health appointments, since i seem to completely mess them up, and still don't care. Or have the energy to care. Or want to care? I've still no idea when i am going for my operation. Do i really care? I suppose if it gets rid of pain? I've not had " time " to address my health. It's all been about finances. Fancy the charity still caring after all this time? It must be getting on for three years? They still regularly ring me, and have rung twice this week.The truth is, i won't do anything unless someone is behind me, making me do it. Well, with regard to health, at any rate. Am i always cynical? Question marks. Do i ever believe anyone will ever care for me? I've never learnt the art of friendship, and i never want to impose myself on anyone and ask for or assume friendship. Therefore, i will never ring and ask anyone for time? or friendship? Too long has passed now, but i will never stop caring. I will never ring although i desperately want to. It's a strange way to be? But it's the way i was brought up. Never ask for anything, although i've always given? I'm a strange b* r, me. And i feel very alone. Do you know, it's a sunday morning and there are no signs of life around here. Everyone is still tucked up in bed. All the thoughts come out early in the morning. Or late at night. Do you know what, how many times have i doubted keeping this diary?