Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

228 days, 1 hour 14 mins and 53 seconds.

I have hardly slept for a week now. I only have one thing on my mind. I can't get there fast enough, so far as my snails pace will allow me. Is it finally to be peace and quiet,or entering another war zone?



1 hour 8 mins and an interminable amount of seconds.....................

Aesop

Hugs Ani. Xx

ani_26

Aesop wrote: »

Hugs Ani. Xx

Thanks Aesop xxxx


There are times when we all need a hug.


Three hugs a day.



The warmth of another human being.

ani_26

H A L L E L U J A H


Well, i'm not sure it's hallelujah just yet, and definitely not time to celebrate, if that's the word? Definitely not the word, is it? 228 days. Has it really been that long? I am now but a shadow of my former self.


Is peace and quiet just around the corner, albeit temporarily? The trip this morning sparked another skirmish on the battlefield. Hearsay and computer systems say it's now sorted? But it's only hearsay. I don't allow the luxury of belief until proven. Which means waiting another week or two.


For now, i still have that concrete block on my head, which weighs a ton.

fallenwiccan

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the peace and quiet lasts as long as possible.

beanielou

Here is hoping xxx

ani_26

229 Days.



The lead weight on my head isn't going to disappear as easily this time. Too much stress has gone under the bridge, so to speak. There are still so many appeals, so many complaints, tax rebates, so much this and that, to deal with, and i definitely cannot cope with a court case to recover my hard earned brass. Most of this is still being addressed by wr, and some has been put on hold, for now. I prefer not to think about any of it. I defintitely don't want to think about work. I am definitely not fit for work and i am definitely not returning to my old job. I can no longer cope with the stresses of no guaranteed regular income, the fact the ambiguity of my employment status, ( still, ) makes it extremely difficult to procure the help i desperately need, from the system, the stress of how the job has changed over the decades, ( isn't that the same in every job or industry?} and the stresses from the people i work with. It all combines and builds up and builds up, to meltdown point. Talk about work, over. Of course, i am sure another fight will ensue, when i am made to return to work. Bring it on. Until then........................ Life will become financially critical again, as it is virtually impossible to live on £71 a week. I have managed to survive on less than that, haven't i? I've managed to survive not even having the money to cover the rent. Urghh, i don't want to think about how it has been. I'm told i will be on less money now. So what? I don't care. There are so many people obsessed with money and all the trappings it brings, from whatever perspective, be it wealth or debt. It's easy to lose sight of what is really important. For now, at least i should know where i am with my income? A relatively stable income. However low it is. Which in truth, is all i've needed, these last few years. I'll wait until it all comes to fruition. But for now, at least, my rent and council tax is being paid, and i no longer have to worry about keeping a roof over my head. I can live simply and frugally, and it suits me fine. It's not going to last forever, and i'm trying not to contemplate how it could be, at any point. I can really take the brunt of the benefits bashers now, can't i? Dya know what? I don't care. Bring it on.

If you want to know how i am spending your hard earned brass, then continue reading. Plants.............:rotfl::rotfl:


Yup. Oh dear. I have fanatical fuschia fetish, at the moment, and i bort two more hardy fuschias yesterday, one white and one crimson and purple. I now have a garden full of fuschias, along with the chocklit plants, I know it's probably the wrong time of the year to be gardening? But i am going to miss the gardening i hate. My new fab fuschia friends. I have 10 of them now. A bit excessive maybe? but they bring new life and colour to the forlorn garden, although all the rose bushes are on their second flowering, and many plants are indeed still flowering. It all just looks sadder, somehow. Everything is always 2 - 3 months later, than everywhere else, i've found around here. Which means spring is also later. There seems to be a glut of pansies and violas for sale at the moment and everyone seems to be buying pansies? A bit old ladyish? No, i prefer the fuschias, although they'll get blown away...:rotfl: Ne'er mind. They are serving a purpose at the moment. As for my very first ever tomato, every day it progresses, from green to yellow to orange, and there's a distinct tinge of red this morning. It is also going softer to the touch, and it's now slightly bigger than a half crown. Now what to do with this first ever achievement? Do i eat it? Or do i just keep it as a trophy, for as long as possible. What do you all think? Should i just sit and look at my first ever tomato?


I took my hanging baskets down on sunday, i think it was sunday. I cried. It still makes me tearful, now. It was a symbol. It's where it all started, all those months ago, wasn't it. Didn't it start with that very first hanging basket i have just taken down. My very first hanging basket, put together, assembled by me. The one with the whatever they were. Aided and abetted by my local supplier. They gave me so much free stuff, along the way. Dead plants :rotfl: ( all resuscitated,) tens of free plantpots of various sorts, twentyish? tubs and hanging baskets, and lots of cheap plants including the infamous chocklit plants.

Oh health. Rarely been mentioned or thought of. I went for the second time to the well being group, this week. I like it. It's such a safe environment, with only a few people, plus the care workers or whoever they are. I don't know. No pressures. Don't have to speak if you don't want to. General sort of chit chat. Normal sort of chit chat. I am going for a xmas meal with them to a very nice eatery around here, ( subsidised, too.) The majority of it will be paid for out of funds. I will have to help, raising funds. My " other " health has got worse again since i have seen the consultant, making me feel very ill again, as it did this summer. I think i am waiting for an operation, as i wasn't exactly compos mentis when i went to the appointment. The gp is hopefully trying to find out some more information. Doh.

I've lost any train of thought



Oh yes. Debt.


I suppose i am still a debt free wannabe, although i'm learning to to not let worrying about debt take over every waking thought, amongst others. I am now several months into the dro, but i have acquired new debts since then, as benefits that were eventually paid, are subsequently being taken back. They are all under appeal, but nothing stops the relevant bodies taking the money back from your benefits. All this, is out of my control. Maybe i'll get it back again after the appeals. Barmpots. Total barmpots.

beanielou

Just makes me so bleeping angry.Gah.

ani_26

I get it. Your intention was to upset someone and delete your posts? as you don't even have the courage, to stand by them.


I will continue keeping a gardening journal.

beanielou

Did you have a troll ani?
Must have missed them?