Life after bankruptcy?

Erme

Yeah I reckon so too

Hugs Ani...Just as I thought I was getting over this bug I am not. I spent the am in bed . Just tired when I had 101 things planned. Hope to get some study done this afternoon/evening and go from there. Haven't studied for 2 weeks :eek:

Anyhow vit c is just 41p a tube right now at Mr S so go get it down ya folks if you hae this bug .

I don't mean to preach but I'd be lost without my faith. It doesn't mean to say I don't get down or anxious but I always have support iyswim. I don't know? I mean is it worth perhaps tuning into some christian radio stations ani? I can PM you a good one state side that has nice melodic (not to happy clappy) music and good teaching

E

recoverydust

Hi Erme, how are you
are you in the US?
xxx
dusty

ani_26

Erme wrote: »

I don't mean to preach but I'd be lost without my faith. It doesn't mean to say I don't get down or anxious but I always have support iyswim. I don't know? I mean is it worth perhaps tuning into some christian radio stations ani? I can PM you a good one state side that has nice melodic (not to happy clappy) music and good teaching

E

Maybe that's why i am so lost, as i don't have anything. Except my principles. And where did they ever get me?

I'm sorry, but you're never going to convert me to christianity, in which case, i'll probably go to hell, as my ex neighbours kept telling me would happen if i didn't accept god into my life. Is that why this person called god keeps hurting me?

ani_26

Two years and what has changed? Very little. I have been on a journey and i am hurting. More than ever. To be honest, two years ago, i would never have anticipated being here today. Every day i am here, is a miracle, if you look at it from that point of view.


Making official complaints, is a long way down the line, dusty. There's still a small matter of my benefits, and therefore income, which needs sorting, first. A relatively " set " income for how long. Who knows? before i am targeted yet again, by the system. Then there is the small matter of all the appeals and all the debts. I don't know how many appeals i have running at the moment, and i don't particularly care. Someone else is dealing with all that for me. I no longer care about debt and becoming debt free. I am fighting a losing battle, so why worry about it? I'm sure more debt will be coming my way. I'm just waiting for the next letter saying more benefits will have to be repaid, and i'm sure there will be others on their way. Other matters with god, have been put on hold for now. Other complaints to various bodies, have also been put on hold. Left to me, i won't pursue any of them, because i just want this nightmare to end. I don't want to prolong it any further, because my health has been deteriorating, throughout all of this. I now have to go for another operation, and i don't even know what it entails, because i wasn't in a fit state to ask. I wasn't in a fit state to go for the appointment in the first place. Something has got to give. Something has really got to give. Wr have been my companion throughout all of this current saga. Almost a year of it. I wonder if they have any jobs going? I have learnt so much about so many things. A world which i didn't know existed. Wr said to me last week, i know i've kept promising a period of peace and quiet, and i've been consistently wrong. Sums it up, doesn't it? Peace and quiet is light years away, especially if i follow all the recommended complaint procedures. I am more stressed now, than at any point previously in my life. I can't cope with anything, and there is one thing upsetting me more than any of all this, and it's breaking my heart.

Oh, i forgot. I don't have one.



226 days. 2 days to go?

ani_26

Thanks beanie xx

I still can't get my head around the internet and all it entails.

recoverydust

sending you hugs, flowers, chocolates and anything else that keeps you going in the face of all this carp.

Nothing to add really, just take care of you and you know where I am
xxx

ani_26

Urgh. Another of those mornings when you wake up crying. This is almost more upsetting than everything else put together. I suppose it's natural to feel like this? I wouldn't know.

Of late, i have been concentrating on my garden whilst we have a late summer. The garden is now reasonably sawted, since the ground is still saturated. I had it in my head to tidy up as best as possible. I've planted half the fuschias in an attempt to hedge my bets ( ha,) so i can take those left in pots inside, when required. Finally planted the raspberry bush, and the other " unamed " plants which are dying. I bought three more " dead " plants the other day for 9p each, including another fuschia. Even if i don't manage to resuscitate them, i got 3 large plant pots fpr 9p each. Bit like me. I am dying inside. Oh, bought another primrose as well. The tomatoes are slowly ripening, and i have a dozen tomatoes. I currently have four peppers which are visibly growing larger by the day. What an accomplishment to say i don't have the conventional means to grow them? Still. It's getting more like like a jungle in here, as more plants are brought indoors. I cut all my orchids back, and remarkably, they are shooting, too. I'm undecided what to do with mr poinsettia. It has continued growing, and i've kept it in a dark spot. I don't know whether to pinch everything back, cover with a black bag? When i've done that in the past, the plant has died. The garden has a new lease of life in this weather. Everything is still growing, including the chocolate cosmos, all my other " new " plants, the sweet peas, although i've had no more flowers, and the rose bushes are flowering again. The tiny lemon balm plant is now huge. Even seen a few sc's. I'm glad that particular job is over.

Which means the inside still isn't sawted, although you can now see much of the carpet in the living room. The kitchen still needs decorating and i still don't have a cooker. I don't have the energy or enthusiasm to look for one, but i suppose i should do something about it, if only so i can have some yorkshire pudding. And f & c. And cheese on toast.


227 days. 1 day remaining?

ani_26

Just when you are thinking why oh why? something comes like a bolt from the blue and makes you cry. Trouble is, ultimately, i always want to save the world. Of course, that's not possible.



228 days, 9 hours and 30 seconds.

Will i ever sleep tonight, or is today another day on the battlefield?

ani_26

Please god, pleeeeeeeeeeze

ani_26

7 hours, 54 minutes and 22 seconds


First signs of madness, talking to yourself?