Life after bankruptcy?

Erme

You do Ani...deffo....

I have an infection on my arm so not been on MSE for a few days

Anyhow hope you get your wheels sorted soon....:D

E

recoverydust

ani_26 wrote: »

Today is a beautiful day, and i feel down, for no apparent reason. I am getting progressively tired, and sleeping more. It has taken me all morning to go to the launderette. One chance comment from someone in there, " at least they are alive". Why do people say this? Why is it the be all and end all of everything, to be alive? What difference does it make? None whatsoever. I still cannot find a reason, purpose, or wish, to live.

I am now housebound for the fourth day in succession. I need to get out of here.

I am sorry to hear that you still can't find a reason to live, it's a feeling I sometimes have too, but eventually this will pass and you find reasons like wanting to see your plants grow, wanting to hear music, feeling like being in company. I can only encourage you to do things you like doing unequal measure to the difficult tasks that you face, and to keep I touch with your friends on here and elsewhere.

Love to you
Xxx
Dusty

Rainbow_Bridge

Hi Ani,

You have had a very emotional week, go with the flow and follow your body's leanings. If you need sleep, rest and be kind to yourself. Is there any of that ice cream left x.

miggy

I expect you're asleep by now (just as I'm off to work!) and I haven't many words of wisdom except 'This too will pass' and 'Wait three days' both of which experience tells me have something to them.

Virtual eg and ginger snaps to you, and put them down a minute to have a hug. :grouphug::grouphug:

Catch up tomorrow when I wake up.

ani_26

Pah, i can't find that green lentil stew recipe, already. It's probably easier to look for it on mf's diary, although cooking is now suspended until further notice.

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, and it's now two years since i was experiencing the anguish of the repo, and also the time when i was cracking up. I should have taken more time out, at that point, and maybe i wouldn't have reached the state i am now? Whatever will be, will be.

I generally need time out of everything, right now. I'm so tired, and i am sleeping more, if that's possible? How could you ever go to work, in this state? I am still being offered the odd job, ( ha) but i am totally not in work mode. I'm not fit for work. I'm not fit for anything. I can't even go walking, anymore. The odd job, isn't going provide the option of life, and pay my rent, bills, etc. Being self employed totally messes up your entitlement to benefits. It's amazing how much calmer it makes you feel, knowing the roof above your head is paid for, on a weekly basis. It isn't going to last forever, though. It's not time to worry about that, now.


I still seem to have spent the week sorting things, as ever. Doesn't everyone have to do this? It just becomes a one a day task, when you are in this state. Utilities are sorted? I am on a cheaper tariff, i'm having an energy monitor installed after the kitchen has been installed. I have a carbon monixide monitor, i am on the priority needs list, or whatever it is? I wouldn't have found all this, without mse. It is already several degrees colder at nightime, now. The onset of autumn is approaching rapidly. There are less sc's, maybe because it's colder? It was almost cold enough for a frost, the other night.

So, utilities sawted. Benefits, ever changing, but at least i have enough money to live, for the moment. Yes, that's right. Live. It's a strange sensation. Having enough money to buy food. I still don't have a shopping budget, as i'm used to buying things as i need them, and that won't change. I am used to my 10p items. I got some more 10p eggs, the other day. Along with two large bottles of ginger ale, for 10p each a packet of birds custard, for 10p. This will make several desserts, along with ginger cake. I can't remember what else i've purchased, but the usual suspects. Oh, some milk as well. What would i do, without that shop?


Whilst i am still spending very little on food, i wish it could be said the same for other things. Mind you, the money has to be spent? I sent all my documents to the Is, and they called me back, and said everything is fine. Phew. Honesty is always the best policy. I just need to keep updating them, as my life never remains stable for very long. The ongoing debacle with hmrc, is another matter, which i shall leave to wr. They are above the law? They are the law.


I now have my wardrobe, and the fitter struggled to put it all together, so c'est la vie. Now my bedroom needs reorganising, too. Sigh. This place is a tip, and how i will get it sorted, is anyone's guess. Ani has been repaired, and it cost hundreds of pounds. That's £700, so far this year, on a new radiator, alternator, fan belt and wm. I can't afford to take anymore repairs and i've got to bear in mind the cost of rubber and bodywork. The insurance has finally been sorted, with proof of my full ncd, but the road tax is due this month. That's another £250? :eek: but this time i will pay for a year. I am not going to be able to afford to run a car forever. I have to look at it realistically, but for now, i can't get around without one. I will have to have the bodywork repairs done on the cheap, sadly. The alternator, put paid to that. Anymore unexpected breakdowns, and that's me. Finished. B* y cars. Still, a month ago, and that would have been me finished, anyway. An ongoing battle with the council, to have my ct refunded. They don't seem to appreciate they have received ct twice. Once from me and once from the benefits department. They are pretty selective, in that department. They are deliberately being evasive, in my view, not returning calls, not taking my calls.



Ah well. For today, back to the kitchen.

recoverydust

emailing a complaint to my CT department and copying in my local councillors and MP got mine sorted and an apology issues within a week.

it is good that you have sorted so much and i have no doubts that in the fullness of time the rest with be sorted to - as for your home, when the kitchen is finished hopefully it will fall into place

love to you
xxx

Rainbow_Bridge

I agree with recoverydust, despite everything you have accomplished a huge amount, Well done xx.

recoverydust

happy to be agreed with

I also asked for all information held on me by CT dept including recordings of conversations on phone. 7 days later had it all and a revised bill

recoverydust

http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/what-dla-has-meant-to-me.html?spref=fb

As always, excellent writing from Sue, please take time to have a read Ani
xxxx

miggy

Hi, how's the kitchen going? Is it going anywhere? Glad ani is sorted.

Thanks for your message, and yes, I was asleep!

I too have a lot of unwanted sorting. Plus the lounge is being taken over by DD's packing... if I could round up enough of the the Beautiful People I would lend them, and you could sit there (cup of eg in hand) giving directions as they gut the kitchen in half an hour (probably followed by eating a whole packet of biscuits and running a few miles 'for the exercise'). Alas for us, two of them are in sunny Florida, one is off to a party, one is working and the other is goodness-knows-where.

I bet you are out in the sunshine. Fewer SCs? I think you sent them up here.

Time I got up. Work in two hours.