Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

I guess its inevitable, then

Aesop

If you are thinking of hanging yourself, wouldn't recommend it. Not the best way.

Things will get better Ani. It is just right now you are very tired, been working long hours, and don't see any future.

miggy

Nothing's inevitable - but right now you are exhausted and that drags you down.

{{hugs}}

How's work going?

kerri_gt

How you doinf ani? As Muggy says, nothing is inveitable and don't think no one cares about you otherwise we wouldn't be on here asking and trying to give you some support. xx hope you are managing to eat with all these long hours, especially as you have lots of driving to do xx

ani_26

It is inevitable, and i am exhausted. I was falling asleep at work, and on the way home from work, yesterday. If someone could patent a pill whereby you could take one, and never wake up again, thats exactly what i'm looking for. I'm sure there is a clinic in Switzerland which assists with euthanasia. Does it mattter what the reason for wanting to die? Sadly, i can't afford this, either. I wish i had contacts with the black market.

A final analysis.The simple truth of my situation is as thus. I'm at the bottom of the pile with regard to help with social benefit and social housing, which i could more easily afford. I therefore have to rent privately. Please don;'t come along and say rent a room etc etc etc. I've tried looking at rooms privately, looking at all the websites ie vivastreet etc, i've had advice from the cab, from the council etc, etc, etc. The list is endless. I HAVE TRIED. I AM NOT THICK OR STUPID. Only stupid enough to lose my lifes achievements. By the by.

I've been looking on the benefits forum, and generally around this site. I hold my hands up. It makes me sick, resentful, whatever, when i see people who are seemingly living the life of riley, courteousy of me, the tax payer, and the tax paying public, on state benefits. Mostly obtaining up to four times what i earn. £2000 a month? Even i, have the sense to realise, that if i was obtaining help with wtc or housing benefit, then i, too, would receive this level of income??????????????????????????????????????????????? Positively rich................ Certainly able to manage, financially.

As it is, i estimate my income last year was probably in the region of £8000. Probably before tax. In case you are wondering, the ir stated i don't owe any tax. In fact they probably owe me tax. But i'm pretty disorganised when it comes to bits of paper and accounts. Largely because i don't have much spare time.

So, one last look at my financial affairs, will confirm, the inevitable. Because there is an inevitable. Realistically. I can't continue working 100 hours a week, for the rest of my life. A) thats 15 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 ish weeks of the year. This leaves no spare time, to live. Be a human being. I'm a walking zombie right now. In fact, i can barely walk. i stagger along in a state of dizziness. The work is'nt always going to be available, 15 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. I estimate its 2 months since i had a day off, and still no day off, on the horizon.

I need help from the state, so i can live a ' normal ' working life, like a ' normal ' human being. Is'nt the limit on wtc, working 30 hours a week. Is'nt full time employment, 30 hours a week? Not 100 hours a week? Which allows time for things other than work and sleep? So in preparation for my final onslaught at ' the social '. My p60's are starting to arrive. They are not looking too healthy. Currently around £3000, including the esa i received, last year. How the bloody hell, have i managed????????????? No wonder i still have to obtain credit. I'm never going to get out of this life of credit, if i can't earn enough to put a roof over my head. It costs as much for a singleton as it does for a couple or a family. The basic bills still have to be paid, but on one income. That was always my concern during the repossession. I KNEW i could no more afford rent on a property, then i could my mortgage. Otherwise i could have kept my home.

To try and get myself into some sort of organisation for my onslaught to ' the social ', i'm going to complete a soa. Not because i need help cutting costs, or tweaking it for the or, ( which i've never had to do ), but so i know exactly where i stand. When each p60 arrives, i'll add it on to my income. This is me being as organised as i ever can be. I know all my p60's won't arrive before the end of the year, ( yes i know they should arrive at the end of the tax year, by law ), but maybe these companies are as disorganised, as me. Three grand so far, is looking bad, oh my god. How am i managing? My soa won't include luxuries such as food, holidays, entertainment, not even hairdressers.I don't have a budget for any of these, as i rarely spend on them now. No, i'm still, not really eating. Besides, i'm never hungry. i could'nt even eat the fish and chips. I've been cutting my own hair for years, now, to save money on that, too. How mse am i? I should win a bloody award. Mse. What a load of carp. This country and government has along way to move forward in helping those who fall into no mans land. And what was NOT said in the budget. That pensioners, was it fuel payments, were being cut. As the cost of fuel rises, pensioners benefits are cut. What is the point in working all your life, to support the system, when the system sticks its fingers up at you.


I'll get my financial situation in black and white, re apply for benefits, and then i'll kill myself. Because i aint living the rest of my life like this. This is'nt living. This is the waking dead. I don't have time to start my soa right now, as i'm already late for work, writing this.

I can't work out how to post the soa, in its entirety, in my diary. I've only managed to send the link. Can someone tell me how to post this in my diary, please?

Must get ready for work now.


http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

ani_26

I don't know why i corrected that typo. I should have left it. Benftits, just about sums it up. Brilliant

Aesop

ok, after you have entered all your details, on main functions, clicked calculate. Then go below that button, it says Format Results for discussion Board, click on MSE.

this brings up a separate box which tells you how to copy and paste your SOA into your diary.

Maybe you are better off being on the dole Ani? I know that is not what you want to do, your ethos is to work, as is most people's. But when your income does not allow you to claim for benefits due the grey area of your job or council housing, you are better off being in the system, so you can claim.

miggy

Thanks for posting, Ani.

If I remember rightly you were at some point paying NI contributions? In fact I think that was a backlog hanging over you, which you were intending to pay? NI is a form of insurance even if it's not the same as other insurances in some ways. If you had been paying into a private policy to pay out when you needed a break, you wouldn't have qualms about claiming on it. So, think of it this way: you're entitled to claim back some of what you've put into that pot over the years.

I think full time working is generally around 37 hrs a week though plenty of people are doing extra because they need to. Even so, that's vastly down from 100 hours a week.

I suspect you know what the significance of not being hungry is. Your body has got used to such a low level of input - although you've taken care to eat healthily - that it's stopped asking for what it needs to keep going.

Let's get that SOA sorted and see if there's a way back to being a human being for you. You know we'd offer advice if that were appropriate but I think you've already tried the things people suggest. The best way I can see (not that I'm an expert so this is just an opinion) to turn your situation round is to change what you're doing. No one could do more than you to make a go of your chosen career and it's their loss if they don't pay well enough to keep the expertise you have to offer. Damn shame if you have to chose something else, but you have a right to a living same as other people. But it's up to you to stop the momentum: either passively by working till you have an accident or by saying 'no more than X hours a week from now on'. 'Look, employer, my diary is full but I can fit you in the following week.' I know they would likely pass the work on to someone else but maybe they wouldn't? But you're no use to them dead.

Anyway, here's to the SOA and we'll see how that looks.

Meanwhile {{{Hugs}}}.

ani_26

Thanks Aesop and miggy x

I don't think it was such a good idea to to complete my soa. I'm completely humiliated, embarassed, and downright despondent. This is the first time i've sat down and analysed why i can't manage. Now i understand why. Maybe i should take a leaf out of my colleagues book, who said they can't afford to work anymore. With fees being reduced, petrol expenses being reduced, ( yet the price of petrol, sky high ), you are right. There is only one person benefiting from all my hard work. That certainly is'nt me.

I've received another p60 today, from my main employer, and its a shock, how little i earnt. From the p60's i've received so far, its looking like i'll be lucky to have received £6000 after tax, last year. Thats £500 a month, so thats what i've put on my soa. That does'nt even cover the rent on this place, if i'm to remain here. So my earnings don't even cover the rent. I think i knew that in my heart, anyway. What to do. Just bloody what, to do? I can't cope anymore. I've nothing more to give, to help myself. Its alright for people to say be positive. I've been positive. I'm giving it my all. I have nothing more to give, except my life. Just what the bloody hell do i do? I'm so ashamed i'm working so hard, and earning so little.

Aesop

((((((((((((((((((ani))))))))))))))))))))) can only suggest 2 things - go down the route of a completely different career - ie one that is paid weekly/monthly on time! and where they deduct NI from you and tax at source. Or go on the dole.

You just cannot survive on what you are doing. That much is so clear, from what you have posted in this diary.