Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

Its funny. Maybe something has changed ever so slightly ,in my mindset today. Because there are certain things i really loathe, and maybe after reflecting on it, its brought me more clarity of mind.

There was a glimmer of light at the end of this hell hole i live in, today. I must'nt get my hopes up, still got to wait for them to call back, but maybe, just maybe, it will tale some of the stress off me. But theres a price to pay. Humiliation. Still, when your backs against the wall. No choices to be made, except one.

Getting phone calls from work everyday, turned way too much work down, now. They don't understand. If i can get this sorted, i can get back to work, and i'm going for my assessment next week, for the xmas job. Moonlighting literally. I'm going to end up working days and nights again. Stupid. Stupid. But its got to be done. No income for 3 weeks now, and still not heard from wr regarding benfits. I'll have to make sure i catch the bus. No driving. Anyway, i'll have no car if i don't get back to work. Everything is due in the new year, road tax, mot.

Hmm maybe i'm getting a bit more positive now. My thoughts have shifted to money worries. I can't bury my head in the sand any longer. I've got some DD's going to bounce before i receive any more pay. I'll have to sort that one out tomorrow. I can't afford to lose my bank account. But i've got to reassess my situation. No one can live on fresh air alone. I've got to get back to work, sometime soon.

Please, please ring with news tomorrow

savingwannabe

So glad you are back. Was v worried about you, in fact terrified that you had been frightened away. I did not see all of it as best friend arrived and carted me off for a meal and luckily we spent a long time having fun but i am glad it is all ok again. Please dont worry about me i have many kind friends who are with me always. MSE is safe. We are protected. Some blooming fantastic people here.

Plus i do like my Sam Cooke and Louis Armstrong, and Suzanne Vega, and They Might Be Giants. Sorry petal, i am such a pleb when it comes to music. I do get carted off to Operas and Ballets in Covent Garden by my more cultured friends. You sound a little better. I am glad you are waiting for someone to get back to you and that will ease the stress. Have you been to anyone financial to see if there is a way out? I do hope someone from the bankruptcy thread is able to offer you some advice as to where you can go. I can't do technical things NH. I am sorry.

I will keep thinking of you and praying too. If free later pop onto 3Dogs' thread. SWX

crumbling

Really glad to hear from you nohope x x

Apologies but I am totally oblivious to what has happened over the weekend - thank goodness!

Sadly there are some nasty pieces of work in this world. Hence my semi reclusive life...

ani_26

I know what you mean, crumbling. Hence my reclusive life, with no friends. But i prefer it to a superficial life with lots and lots of friends, and lots and lots of bestest, bestest, bestest friends. If only one thing i've found through all of this, its who truely cares for me. Its something i will always remember.

Maybe some would say its made me sad and bitter, maybe i've just been hurt, too many times, but i like to think i am wiser than that.Its a shame i did'nt use wisdom in my money affairs. I would'nt be in the situation i'm in now. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.


Nohope xx

crumbling

Nohope wrote: »

I know what you mean, crumbling. Hence my reclusive life, with no friends. But i prefer it to a superficial life with lots and lots of friends, and lots and lots of bestest, bestest, bestest friends. If only one thing i've found through all of this, its who truely cares for me. Its something i will always remember.

Maybe some would say its made me sad and bitter, maybe i've just been hurt, too many times, but i like to think i am wiser than that.Its a shame i did'nt use wisdom in my money affairs. I would'nt be in the situation i'm in now. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.


Nohope xx

With you totally on that one. I detest this fake part of society and due to my own personal experiences, I now trust very few people and refuse to pretend to be someone I'm not just to conform. This may sound odd-perhaps i am bitter? One thing I do know though is that I am happier with myself generally, living how it suits meand the few people I do hold dear, I would do anything for.

Life changes are a good time to plough through all of the rubbish that weighs us down, materially and emotionally.

X

ani_26

Crumbling, i think many people will class it as bitterness, though i prefer to call it realism. I've never conformed, which is probably yet another reason, why people don't understand me. I've always been my own person. I'm always being told, everyone else is doing this. Sod what everyone else is doing. I do it MY way, or not at all. Though i'm generaly unhappy at the moment, i'm happier with myself generaly, hmm if you see what i mean, and i too, hold things precious to me, dear. I too would die for them, but few realise this. Trust and respect for people is something that is built on, earned, not a whim, that comes and goes.

But its a supercial, materialistic, selfish, society we live in today. Part of my 'want ' to escape. I hate it.But enough harping on that subject. I could go on forever.

What a day. A rollercoaster of emotions again, Did'nt start off too badly, then went downhill, as i just managed to muster enough money so the first DD does'nt bounce. This is getting serious now. Not been going out, so not spending money, but DD's still going out. I've been wrapping my head in the sand again. Got a small amount of cash left now, juat enough for basic, very basic food, and a small amount of petrol. I've used more than i thought going on trips to the tip. Next DD due out next week, some pay due next week, due from July.Keep fingers crossed. I'm fed uo of this stupid job, that never pays within what i class to be, a reasonable amount of time. At least the xmas job pays weekly. I know that for sure. Rang the wro office, They said it can take six weeks to process your claim. But i can apply for a crisis loan. Can i apply for a crisis loan if i'm bankrupt? Well if you've no income. I don't class pay from work i've done months ago, as still working. I class it as pretty much ,as in crisis. This stupid job. In this instance, i want to be a ' normal ' person. Getting paid weekly or monthly. How am i ever going to control my finances, For that matter, how am i ever going to build up a fund, for rent. I've got to start getting organised, much as i like living in a disorganised world.

But then, possibly good news on the pratically of moving front. I've been quoted up to £3,000. Yeah right. With knobs on, please. Yet to find out how much this is going to cost, besides a huge dose of pride, but they contacted me today, and it looks like its going to go ahead. I've already spent 3 weeks, for nothing, I could have worked. Well not nothing, i suppose, it just feels like it. I can't believe i'm stupid enoigh to do this. Mad ot stupid? only time will tell. But my back is agaist the wall, and i don't have the luxury of choice. Actually, i think its quite funny. B****y hilarious, in fact. Thats the only thing thats going to see me through this next challenge. To see the funny side, and laugh my way through it. Its the first step toward any sort of future at all. They said, what a beautiful view up here. Yes, i'm really going to miss it. Thats the thing i'll miss the most, although i'm rarely here to appreciate it. I'm always working. My neighbours too. I love them to bits, and they've been good neighbours. I have'nt the heart to tell them i'm going, because they've always said, they don't want me ever to go.Thet don't know how i manage so well, on my own. Well, i don't. They'll find out soon enough. Their one fault is, they are so nosey. Even yesterday, all the neighbours out to see what was going on. The gossips will have a field day. Its a tight knit community, where everyone knows everyone elses business. Except mine.But the whole world is going to know. Hahaha You idiot. Oh well, when your backs against the wall........

Had a bit of a trip out today. Had to go to the bank. 40 mile round trip. Such a pain. Never mind, listeened to some music, in the car. Mostly ' light hearted 'stuff today . Mendelssohns Italian Symphony. Love it. The waltz from Shostakovich Jazz Suite. Every piece of music has a memory or association, for me. The Jazz suite always reminds me of Griff Rhys Jones and his series 3 men and a boat. His seeming insecurities about his beautiful yacht, which to me, far outshone any millionaires powerboat. Out of this world. A 33 ft or whatever, beauty, every bit of it made out of wood. Thats real sailing. Just you, against the sea. My soul belongs there. If theres anything that makes me feel alive, its battling the elements to stay afloat. I have'nt been able to afford to go, in recent years, finish the courses i was taking. Drifting off. Heard Dies Irae too. How ironic. At least i'll get the opportunity to listen to my favourite radio station, whilst i'm on nights. Just about the only thing that keeps me awake. How presumptious of me to make plans for the future.

Maybe its time i stood up to people walking all over me

crumbling

just realised where notifications show up!! wow - am i really that slow?! (errrr yes, today i am. i cannot claim it to be as serious and debilitating as man flu so maybe its just chicken or guinea pig flu....)

what a day eh nohope?

x

crumbling

oh, and re the know it all village gossips who know nothing because they don't have the bottle to ask the person involved anything....

stuff 'em!!! go out in style (like i did!).

x

ani_26

I hope its not the style i'm about to go out in. But its definitely going out. I can't believe i'm doing this. Just waiting to see what the cost is, besides pride. Now theres an emotion alot of this, has been about methinks..........

I hope you don't live in the same place as me, now could you imagine.................................

ani_26

Oh yes, i forgot about the flu, although i'm still not sure if its dust flu..............................