40 and Foolish!

dorothy52

Hi NL - sorry I haven't posted for a while, however rest assured I have been following your progress. Last weekend I applied some acrylic nails with false tips and whilst they look lovely, and I am very pleased with myself as it was the first time I tried it, I felt like Edward Scissorhands! They played havoc with my typing lol. I have filed them down to a manageable length now, much better.

Re Granny's jewels. Hmm. I have never been bequethed anything of any value so can't really comment on whether I would sell them to clear the debt to THEM, yet knowing how stressed out you are I can completely understand your considering it. What DOES surprise me, and I have thought this for a while, was your mom's reaction. You say that she freaked out when you told her of your intentions. I wondered if you have told her about the debt, particularly to THEM, as I know that if I knew that one of my adult children were in a similar situation I would give them the money to clear it in a breath. In fact I did so only last year. Not only did it provide my offspring with peace of mind, it did me. I'm not the sort of pampering parent that digs their kids out of bad situations of their own making btw, they have all known plenty of tough love, however there are times when I knew that I wouldn't sleep at night unless I had helped them.

I can imagine you thinking that you would never consider asking her for money, and that of course is admirable, however if she offered to help you, I really, really hope that you accept. Which brings me neatly to my last 'loving lecture' of the day lol. You mentioned several pages ago that Mom wanted to buy you a gift, and that there was nothing that you particuarly wanted. One of your 'friends in the box' suggested that she made a contribution on your behalf to a charity of your choice. I remember thinking that it was a lovely idea, yet again I wondered why you didn't ask for a small financial contribution to the THEM fund. As I understand it; your principal motivation for clearing the debt is so that you can quit your job and both you and your OH do something meaningful by working for a charity. As I see it, the sooner you clear the debt, the sooner your 'real life' will begin and all the people who will benefit from both your contributions can feel it sooner rather than later.

I hope all that makes sense, it certainly does to me however I am not sure if I have conveyed it coherently. I guess that what I am saying is if you ask for, or accept help now, you can hep people in dire need sooner rather than later. Your intentions are selfless and noble, please don't turn away those who can help you to achieve your goal.

I absolutely agree with Robin BTW re Miss M - her prose makes little if any sense on occasion, I should hate to be the recipient of one of her little missives in a business sense, goodness knows how long it would take to decipher it.

Keep doing what you are doing, NL, I am full of admiration for your spirit and determination. You are a lady with real tenacity and I have no doubt whatsoever that you will come out the other side of this experience sooner than you think and a stronger and better person for having experienced it.

Take care

Dot
xx

dorothy52

Cross posted...just read your last one. Darling, I promise you that by the time you are my age - and let me tell you Lady that I am a very young 50 something Groovy Granny who has just realised that my 40s were not a good decade at all compared to my fifties which have been totally fab (new job, two grandkids to name but two) your life will be nothing like it is now. Your lbm is in the past - you have made fantastic progress these last couple of years, onwards and upwards the future is bright and it is closer than you think!

NewLeaf_2

Thanks for your posts Dot xx

My mom I am sure would give me the money but in my family everything comes with "strings attached" so I would rather try to go it on my own. If we were in danger of losing the house or something I would ask.

That is how I am hoping things will turn out, going through this is one of life's learning experiences, and I have been through much worse in my life. Need to focus on the fact that I can learn from this and reshape the future with all this new knowledge so I am never here again. (obviously I mean here in debt not here with you lovely folks)

I will re-do my budget in the week and see what my new dfd will be and share it .

Tonight is dinner from what is on hand, a catch up on "Lewis" a bath and maybe a self pedi.

xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

Congrats on all the sales NL. Surely piece of mind if far more valuable than an heirloom gathering dust!

Fingers crossed your new DFD is eons closer Xx

NewLeaf_2

I think it is going to be further away. But that's ok, it is just going to mean me getting more creative

dorothy52

Here's a thought - you only have so much control over the debt, however I understand that you also want to lose weight, and that is something that you REALLY can do. Why not focus on that exclusively (will debt busting as well but not stressing over it IYSWIM)

Even if you were to set yourself a target to lose one pound a week, I am sure you could do it, and of course we will all encourage you. I speak from experience. When I was your age I weighed more than a stone more than I do now, and just thought that because I was over 40 that it was middle age creeping up on me (I realise of course now that this was nonsense - how could I be middle aged then when I am young now lol). Alternate day fasting did it for me - google it. I didn't even do it for the weight loss, that is a happy by product. If you can incorporate some gentle exercise as well all the better, and to see the pounds dropping off your weight as well as the debt will, I am quite sure, give you a real boost.

NewLeaf_2

yes maybe that is what I should do. I was basically slim most of my life until I moved here. edited to add.. working from home, being isolated and living across the street from a waitrose is not helping x

NewLeaf_2

does anyone have myfitnesspal

Fortune_Smiles

I've just downloaded it but not used it yet - the girls at Step class are raving about it.

Fortune x

PinotGrigio41

NewLeaf wrote: »

does anyone have myfitnesspal

I dont but is it worth dowloading ? x