MSE Parents Club Part 14

My_Fathers_Daughter

Here I am again to advocate singing outside his door! My problem was as soon as I went into his room I couldn't escape without tears and waking. So I put him down, kisses, cuddles, tell him I love him and I will see him in the morning and walk out singing twinkle twinkle. Close the door, whilst still singing and carry on singing, loudly if he was crying, softly if he was quiet. He knows I am there, the repetitive nature of the song soothed us both and using only one song means I hadn't got a clue how long I had been there. He calms, I continue, I try to stop, he cries, I start again, eventually he either sleeps or just gets bored of hearing me (never open the door to check)

First night was about 20 mins, second about 10, now I only sing when he gets upset, very rarely, maybe once in the last month.

Technique worked on holiday too.


Sorry if badly written, on phone in bath LOL

jillie1974

Kian never noticed when we moved him into his own room and he has learnt how to settle himself most of the time. We still have the montors on so can hear him, although when we have left it downstairs i have always heard him cry---mummy instinct.

today, as i am so used to him being awake before 7 i was wide awake at 6.45....typically he stayed asleep for anothe hour...i read my book

Sarah_Joanne

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Is SJ back home now?

I am I was lurking last night but went to bed just before you posted this. Haven't caught up as there was way too much so hugs all round, especially to Bruno and MDW, and yeys and nays where appropriate.

Wales was lovely, had a really fab time away and will definitely go back to Caernarfon with Hubby at some point.

In our news, Alfe took 6 steps along the sofa this morning :eek:

Happy birthday Jillie, hope you have a lovely day.

Evansangel

We have taken Lilys play mat out of the living room and now she just slides along the floor :rotfl:

I just had to take a small plastic clip off her that apparently was invisible to my eye, but she found it in seconds.

JAM1376

MFD - was B 'crying' or 'screaming hysterically and making himself sick' when you sing? That sounds like a funny question but thats what C does - oh, and bangs her head on the end of the cot!

I keep saying I will get her sorted next week before work but it's sooo hard and I have so much sympathy with Bruno and others in the same boat!

Oh and Mel, I'm not sure being stern would work with her so young? I just dunno! She's fab during the day.

Sorry Bruno - I'm hogging all your advice xxx

gill_81uk

:bdaycake: Happy Birthday Jillie:bdaycake:

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

I used to express each evening at 10.30pm ish whilst I was browsing the net. I used to sit at the dining room table and set the pump running whilst I typed/surfed. To increase your output are you doing breast compressions and leaving the pump running after the milk has stopped flowing? Have you tried to stimulate a second letdown?

I still have 2 bags in the freezer that I don't want to use...but can't bring myself to throw away - they are probably a year old

I tend to stop after the milk has...do you mean carrying on for longer would give me more the next night? How would I stimulate a second let down?

Kindof - as long as they're still doing the till spit promo I would expect so

MDW - :mad::mad::mad: on your behalf! What a selfish bleep. Can't you have plans for next saturday?

Bruno - *hugs* I'm not really qualified to give advice as my little one is only 5 months but I watch a lot of supernanny! Could you perhaps try her sleep routine? I think the problem could be that as he is getting cuddles, he is waking and wanting them. So after the initial big bedtime cuddle he doesn't get anymore but just gets an "it's bedtime darling" and perhaps a pat to be reassuring? (supernanny doesn't pat but a lot of her kids are older)

ETA Just read your next post The few I've seen where there's a little 18 month old she does do controlled crying. I'm not going to suggest it though as I'm not in a position to imagine doing it myself and don't want to offend you


Ladybird - how old was Izzy when you stopped bfing through the night? And did you offer her something else in return? T is still waking for a 4am feed and it's time I thought about attemtping to drop it. He'll be getting a bottle tonight as I will be p*ssed so seems a good time to start perhaps. Would be good to have him sleeping through for my parents next Sat!

:T:T for Alfie's furniture cruising. Are you still monkey foresting on Wed SJ? Will be good to see you both again and see how much he's changed.

In adition to the caterpillaring around yesterday we had out first full roll (ie back to front to back) so I think I need to seriously start thinking about babyproofing!

SugarSpun

:grouphug: Bruno - nothing to add except that I really admire the way you are with E and I wonder if Weezl has a point.

Happy Birthday Jillie!

Did someone say Next sale?! Also, Halfcost have free del this week and >FF15< gets you 10% off. Christmas shoppers take note

Somnium

Bruno - big hugs, sounds like a real nightmare for you and am sure the lack of sleep isn't helping you think clearly. I really hope your OH appreciates how much you do/ I have no words of wisdom I'm afraid having not been through it, but I would be in the same boat at being a wuss when it comes to CC, hate hate hate hearing T upset.

MDW - I hope you vented at your OH, that is really naughty of him to not have at least dicussed it with you. I hope Katie wasn't in dire need for her next lot of clothes, I know how cold its starting to get so we have started to get winter bits for T.

Jillie - Happy Birthday

Well the sun is shinning here and just checked the weather and no rain forcast So looks like we can go out with the rents later Was worried we were gonna be cooped up all weekend. Mum has bought T a lovely outfit and coat from Next and a cute little trinket box so keep bits like hair clips and stuff in when she is bigger She is one very lucky girl to have granparents who spoil her so.

Managed to actually get to playgroup yesterday all be it a bit late, but T had fun mainly watching everyone else LOL. Saw the lovely DK & H their too

I have a question which If you dont want to answer on here PM me, but is anyone here on an IVA if so did you change the hours you worked/how much you were earning while you were on it? We have one but when it was arranged I wasn't PG and both me and OH were working full time, I'm not gonna be able to go back full time as I dont have the childcare and if I pay for Nursery or a CM again thats gonna detract from my earnings. I'm trying to figure out what hours are gonna be best to do when I go back to work as Im going in to have a chat with my boss about it next week.

Oh and on the sleeping/own room issue, how long is the longest you kept LO in your room? Only having one bedroom we are a lil stuck here I'm just hoping it doesnt cause an issue when we eventually get a bigger place.

angelfairy

morning all,

just having a quick post before i pounce on the heusework.

bruno - i think you are aware of all the sleep problems i have had with my LO. she too appears to be a very stubborn, determined little girl who likes to get her own way (no idea where she gets that from).

like yourself, i am 'soft' and i know that has caused me problems, but it was right for me. however, i have had to toughen up a bit unfortunately in terms of sleeping. we moved into our own place a fortnight ago and last saturday night my LO went into her own room (for the first time), still in a cot though.

from last saturday night, what i have been doing is letting her have her bottle downstairs on my lap (lights dimmed, minimal noise). she doesn't go off on the bottle and will just lay there staring at me or the wall until she drops off. when i think she is in a good sleep i take her upstairs and put her in her room.

now, i have also gone cold turkey on no bottle during the night to help settle as well. the first night was odd in that we only had 20 mins of crying during the hours. this involved me waiting for a bit when she first started crying to see if she would settle herself. when she didn't, i went in and said it was time for sleep and laid her down and i went and stood at the doorway to her room. as expected, she just got straight back up again and walked to the end of the cot crying. so i just repeated laying her down, although this time i didn't speak to her, just laid her down. the situation just kept repeating, me laying her down, walking to the door, her getting up and me doing the same thing. as i said, we only had 20 mins of this and i thought that was good.

to distract me from her crying, i just kept counting. i know that sounds silly, but my aim was to count to 100 and then start again. i found that helped me not concentrate on her crying.

for 3 or 4 nights, i had the over an hour stretch of crying, but kept following what i said above. now, the last two nights, she has woken twice, but the crying has only been for about 5 mins, if even that.

i know what i am doing is by no way perfect, as she is not going to sleep herself in her cot, but when i have tried doing that, guaranteed she will throw up everytime as she has not long had her milk.

what i am doing works for us as a family at the moment and of course may not work or be suitable for anyone else.

if you are like me, its good to read lots of different ways and then take from them what will suit you and E. you know E's personality and your own best (of course) and you know what will be doable for you and your family

sorry if all of that is a load of waffle

x

BrunoM

Some aspects of this guide seem to suggest possible not-quite-CC-level approaches. Will pick up baby gate and definitely try 'something involving not giving him cuddles' tonight. Sigh!

Thanks all for the much advice. Weezl/SS it's possible - I just don't know - maybe. He has always been a very affectionate little boy.

Welcome back SJ