MSE Parents Club Part 14

aless02

gill - prolly not the answer you are looking for, but Finn is 9 months today and still has a night feed (2/3am). But some babies younger than him *coughAlfiecough* dropped theirs ages ago.

got-it-spend-it

gill_81uk wrote: »

Ladybird - how old was Izzy when you stopped bfing through the night? And did you offer her something else in return? T is still waking for a 4am feed and it's time I thought about attemtping to drop it. He'll be getting a bottle tonight as I will be p*ssed so seems a good time to start perhaps. Would be good to have him sleeping through for my parents next Sat!

I'm not Ladybird, obviously, but at T's age I would imagine that he is genuinely hungry at 4am if he's slept through/not had any other night milk till then. We found that Henry's 4am feed just gradually got later until it was a 5am feed, and now (when he's not teething) it is a 6am feed.

Welcome back SJ! Glad to hear that Wales is good, and :eek::D for Alfie's cruising!

gill_81uk

Aless - what annoys me is that he did drop it and was sleeping from 8 - 6.30 but then he had a bit of a tummy upset (you prob remember me mentioning it at the time) and he was waking twice a night (after the initial bad day) with a dirty nappy. We got him back down after the first one but I was feeding him after the second (party coz I was worried about dehydration!) and ever since then he's waking at 4 again

ETA GISI - that is exactly what happened a couple of months back, it did just get later and later until it was 6.30. Altho I guess as he's approaching the weaning age it could be that he's hungrier now.

Michelle - not as impressive as it sounds as I have been fortunate enough not to go through what you are now with A. I've not had more than one night feed since we started T's routine at 8 weeks, so I can express knowing I won't have to feed him again until 4am. I don't know what I'll do if I have a non sleeper next time round!

3onitsway

MFD I think the bracelet and charm is a lovely gift. I’d like to be your assistant.
I just had to go and watch Tias video – she is very Scottish isn’t she. I loved that when Caz visited, you could already hear the little accent in Erin’s words. (Where is Caz?)
Kindof I hope E settled and you enjoyed some wine.
Michelle Would there be much work around for you as a private tutor? I know one of L’s friends Mums was a teacher before she had her children, and now does private tutoring of an evening and weekend, mostly helping 11 year olds with the 11+ exam.
SS Damn your mosquito! OH’s friend and girlfriend have just got a new kitten, and it jumped on his naked back in the middle of adult time and clawed him. :rotfl:
Hugs Bruno. I think 5 nights might be long enough to sort it out if you can bear the crying. But if it does sort it out, the FIL visit/change of routine might mess it up again. I’m not against CC, but I can’t/won’t do it because she’ll disturb the other two.
We’ve got a Lindam pressure fit on the stairs, and tbh, it’s better and easier than the two fixed ones we have.
Som V is still in with us at 19 months old. And will be until she properly goes to bed and sleeps all night. When she moves, she’ll be sharing with L, so it’s not fair to expect L to put up with broken sleep.
Welcome back SJ and :j for Alfie.
Last nights night out was cancelled but i'm not too sad, it was too bl00dy cold and I was happy to spend the night on the sofa in my primark fleece babygrow.

BrunoM

Thanks 3, it's a Lindam I've reserved and will pick up in a bit just weighing up letting OH continue to get lie-in but endure taking E to the shopping centre (not a big tolerator of a stroller when there are interesting things going on around him, but letting him run free is a full time job with no time for shopping ), or wake her up to manage him.

It is cold have resisted heating so far but not much longer! Although my puritanical FIL will probably be horrified if it's on while he is here

gill_81uk

Bruno - if I was your OH and pregnant I would be eternally grateful if you took him and let me have a lie in

SusanC_2

BrunoM wrote: »

Gurgh. Went to bed at 9.45 last night trying to catch up a bit after the previous night's 4 hours... had to get up to re-settle him at 11.30, 1.30, 3.30, 4, 5.45, and then up at 6.45. Didn't seem to be anything wrong with him and all he wanted was a brief cuddle then tucking in again each time! He does still have a bit of snot and coughing, but neither seemed to be an issue at all during the night.

Looking seriously now for advice on addressing his sleep

The above is one half of the annoying habits he has. The other is at bedtime, where unless he is completely shattered, he will need a similar 're-settle' to above maybe 3-6 times over the half-hour after his bedtime. Go in, cuddle, lie him down and tuck him in.

I guess the "obvious answer" is to let him cry it out. Aside from my personal difficulty in doing this - especially now that he is able to talk and beg and plead - it's practically a real challenge. He is in a bed not a cot so he can get up (and what he does whenever he calls for re-settling is, he is standing up and waiting).
His bedroom door is one of those 'spring-button' doors and makes a really loud sproing noise whenever opened or closed - we therefore leave it open up til now.
His bedroom is squarely in the middle of the house, and his door opposite ours, so that if he does cry or shout he is audible everywhere.
Past attempts at CC and more recently just struggles of will over toddlery things have shown that he is very very stubborn indeed.

Incidentally, he doesn't ask for OH to come and give him cuddles - it's always me - presumably because I am the soft touch willing to spend 5 minutes cuddling him back to sleep, and it's lucky as a) OH has trouble cuddling him now with her back pain, and b) she is a very good sleeper and I am a very bad one so I wake up regardless of who is doing what.

So this current situation is untenable especially with FIL coming to stay for 3 weeks in 5 days' time. Kicking off a real attempt at leaving him to cry and pass out wherever he wants in his bedroom by closing the door or buying a gate, is on very dodgy timing grounds as we have at most 5 nights before we have guests... should I try?? Does anyone have any other suggestions that could work? Or finally can continue as is hoping his night sleep gets a bit better again as it was before his cold (but still not very good).

Gaaaah sorry to rant so early. Just very tired when I hoped to catch up, horrible visions of FIL's stay, horrible horrible visions of situation when number 2 born potentially as soon as 2 months away or even sooner...

Just a few ideas which may help:
- have a dedicated "cuddle time" before bedtime to make sure he is getting plenty of cuddles
- try introducing other comforting things at bedtime which may help in the night (e.g. musical box or a CD of calm classical music)
- a night light
- earlier bedtime (if Alice has more than the occasional late night, it often leads to sleep disturbance)

But if he is currently ill then it may be futile starting now - I know with Alice the first sign of a cold is sleep disturbance before there is any other sign of her being ill. I know if I'm ill with a cold or something else mild enough that I can keep going in the day I notice it more at night.

SusanC_2

BrunoM wrote: »

I do take the point, Mel... thing is that some parents using 'softer' styles do make it work OK - either style can work - maybe it's child-dependent and my child is just wired to exploit softness, or maybe I am doing something 'wrong' compared to the successful ones!

Also sometimes people use different approaches with the same child depending on the circumstances. If I think there is a reason for Alice waking up or not settling, I try to work out what it is and solve it but if I'm sure she's just making a fuss then I'm firm with her.

SusanC_2

Bruno - adding to MFD's singing, we also found that doing loud "shhhhhhh"s from a distance sometimes resettled Alice if done at the first sign of a whimper.

My_Fathers_Daughter

JAM1376 wrote: »

MFD - was B 'crying' or 'screaming hysterically and making himself sick' when you sing? That sounds like a funny question but thats what C does - oh, and bangs her head on the end of the cot!

I guess he was crying, although I never looked in to tell you what he was up to but he was never sick.

I don't think I have ever 'left' him to cry to see how worked up he could get. In our case he just wanted me to be there, but he wouldn't go to sleep whilst I was in the room. Bedtimes could take me over an hour and invariably ended in tears for me.

Doing something about it seriously changed my life, changed my relationship with Benjamin and now bedtimes are a joy, a special 5 minutes which are just ours where we have a special cuddle and share the love.

You do feel a proper tit stood on the landing singing at the top of your voice whilst the baby screams his lungs out but whatever works for you and this worked for us. x

gill_81uk wrote: »

I tend to stop after the milk has...do you mean carrying on for longer would give me more the next night? How would I stimulate a second let down?

Depends on what pump you have but the medela has a 'quick phase' which stimulates letdown and then you go to long, hard pulls once the milk is flowing. Once the first lot of milk stopped flowing I put it back onto the fast setting and quite often I could get another letdown - not masses more maybe but every little helps!!

Also - carrying on for 5 mins kind of tells your body that it needs to produce more milk apparently *shrugs*

When your milk starts to slow if you hold your boob and give it a good squeeze whilst you pump you will get more milk out from different 'positions'.

There are others who know tons more than me if you need more help.


My baby has just fastened himself into his antilop :rotfl::rotfl::T:T