MSE Parents Club Part 14

BrunoM

There is no re-settling without giving in to him though, so it'll be the lengthy screaming each time. I have this week been trying to not get into the lengthy cuddling, in exactly the hopes that by not giving him what he wants he will stop asking.
What happens is, I go in, he is standing up demanding cuddles, I tell him to lie down and sleep, he wails, I try to physically manoeuvre him into lying down, he clings and fights and screams, I have to choose between physically forcing him flat (achieves nothing, he stands up instantly if I let go), giving up (achieves nothing, he continues standing and wailing), or cuddling him.
I go for as short a cuddle as possible, I am managing just a count of 5 most times the last couple of days, before lying him down.

However, clearly that's not working, so I suppose I have to try more extreme measures, but the thing is that there is no halfway house - I can't resettle with contact more minimal than he is getting, so all I can do is lock the door and ignore him.

JAM1376

Bruno - I have exactly your problem but with a 12 month old in her cot. I can only send you massive hugs and lots of luck and patience. Reading the replys to makes makes me want to do it with C but I don't know if I have the strength at the minute. I could have written your last post!!

Happy birthday Jillie xxx

Hugs to all xxx

BrunoM

Pressure fit baby gate that has good reviews is in stock at the local Argos so will be off there this morning.

aless02

BrunoM wrote: »

There is no re-settling without giving in to him though, so it'll be the lengthy screaming each time. I have this week been trying to not get into the lengthy cuddling, in exactly the hopes that by not giving him what he wants he will stop asking.
What happens is, I go in, he is standing up demanding cuddles, I tell him to lie down and sleep, he wails, I try to physically manoeuvre him into lying down, he clings and fights and screams, I have to choose between physically forcing him flat (achieves nothing, he stands up instantly if I let go), giving up (achieves nothing, he continues standing and wailing), or cuddling him.
I go for as short a cuddle as possible, I am managing just a count of 5 most times the last couple of days, before lying him down.

However, clearly that's not working, so I suppose I have to try more extreme measures, but the thing is that there is no halfway house - I can't resettle with contact more minimal than he is getting, so all I can do is lock the door and ignore him.

You may just have to go whole hog then...not sure what the usual "method" (baby whisperer, supernanny or whoever) is for someone E's age...might be worth some Googling to see what is suggested? It seems that even the briefest of cuddles is still his "crutch" for getting back to sleep, so that's what needs to go.

Eta: oh I see Mel said what I wasn't brave enough to! This has been my ethos kind of since F was 6 months old, but each parent has their own style .

The Next sale is crap, but I still found a couple things I wanted...except I haven't changed our address with them so cannot order, wahhhh.

redmel1621

Bruno

I doubt you would follow my advice because I am pretty strict when it comes to bedtimes...I would tell him STERNLY to stay in bed and just walk out leaving him to whinge/cry/beg etc...and just keep going in and repeating, telling him sternly it's bedtime, stay in bed, be quiet and go to sleep. Failing that ignore completely..... Maybe I should borrow the 'victorian mum' crown from MFD:p

I have never picked up a child at night to settle them, because I see it that they would get used to the nice warm cuddles and keep waking, possibly unintentionally, for cuddles!

Unfortunately my advice isn't much help to parents who prefer a softer approach and who don't like to tell their children off or leave them to cry:o. I personally can't understand why some parents let the children rule the dynamics of the house? And I hope no one takes that the wrong way.....everyone has their own parenting style........

Have some (HUGS) Bruno......Because I think the amount of time you spend with E, as well as working full time, is wonderful:)



As a quick disclaimer I thought I best add that I am in no way cruel to my kids, I don't smack them, starve them or hurt them in any other way.....but I won't let them rule the house, we all live here together and as such, certain things have to work/be followed in order that we all get along;):D

BrunoM

I do take the point, Mel... thing is that some parents using 'softer' styles do make it work OK - either style can work - maybe it's child-dependent and my child is just wired to exploit softness, or maybe I am doing something 'wrong' compared to the successful ones!

redmel1621

I definitely agree it is child dependant.....I never really had to take a hard stance on sleeping with ds1....but I did on his daytime behaviour, with ds2 it was the other way round.... With ds3 he is such a compliant child 90% of the time, although he is starting with tantrums, but I can often use distraction technique....if that fails he goes in baby jail;)

I definitely don't think you are doing anything wrong:A

Evansangel

I have to advice to add Bruno, but i hope you get it sorted soon

We had a rubbish night here. Lily kept waking for her dummy all night, but she was spitting it out!

Kindof, we have a cot mobile but its keeps her awake more than anything because she likes to put her head in it so it strokes her hair as it goes round :rotfl:

Im very confused, my last SMP was meant to be 17th Sept. But they paid me again yesterday...
Apparently my P45 has been sent to my old address, which they have as my mums address. I have lived in 3 houses since then, fools.

And Lily has just thrown herself out of her play ring and only cried when i laughed at her :rotfl:

Mazcabs

MichelleM wrote: »

Has anyone had experience of sending their baby to a nursery at an early age (6 months)? I am back at work in december :eek::( and really cant decide whether to go for a childminder or nursery? I dont want her to go to a CM as it is one adult but then a nursery could mean she isn getting enough 121- my worst nightmare is for her to be left to cry- even for a short time- as she only really cries when there is a serious reason. I would love to have reduced hours at work but it would NEVER happen due to the way our timetable works for the pupils. Failing that, what job could I do at home?

Michelle - I'm a terrible mum because both of mine started nursery when they were 5 months... They have been really good with both of them. Boys have generally always been fine (small period of crying with Henry but that was more when he was older).

There are no more than 8 babies in Williams on any day and 3 girls in there with him but they also mix with the other children aswell.

bexta

Morning.

MDW, that sounds like my OH. Effin bikes, it wasn't so bad when I could ride with him, but I can't now.:mad:

EA, I'd leave the monitors on if you're moving Lily into her own room. She might be a bit freaked out at first, but I'm sure she'll be fine.

Madam decided, after being totally wide awake (but not, ikywm) until 11.30, to sleep all the way through until 7.00! Totally kn@ckered now because I couldn't sleep for worrying about her, little monkey.