MSE Parents Club Part 14

ladybirdintheuk

Bruno, we did controlled crying with Izzy in her bed - we had a stairdgate, and just kept putting her back into bed until she was too tired to bother getting out, and just moaned from there until she dropped off.

BrunoM

So LB, you did go in and physically put her back in bed? How long did you give her each time?

got-it-spend-it

Bruno- obviously H is a lot younger, but what previously he needed resettling 5-6 times an evening and what worked for us is just resettling him in bed rather than picking him up for a cuddle. I didn't really have the heart for much real CC, but we just lie him back down and rub his back until he calms down. Through this he often doesn't need resettling at all now, or does just once.

Hugs for poorly Hammy and David, I hope you're both better soon.

:j or sleep WM.

:mad: at mosquitoes SS.

:mad: at DH MDW!

weezl74

BrunoM wrote: »

Gaaaah sorry to rant so early. Just very tired when I hoped to catch up, horrible visions of FIL's stay, horrible horrible visions of situation when number 2 born potentially as soon as 2 months away or even sooner...

:grouphug: awwww bruno have a hug.


As I read about E wanting lots of affection in the nights, I was wondering whether he's getting a bit less physical affection in the day perhaps as your DW is feeling more tired and encumbered? And maybe trying to 'top-up' his affection banks when you are around?

This is probably not useful but it popped into my head as I read it and so I thought I'd post.

You must be unspeakably tired. :coffee:Have a coffee.

edit: Hugs too for MDW xxx

ladybirdintheuk

Bruono I was going back, doing what I needed to do to get her to calm down (depening on how upset she was either a cuddle, or some milk), put her back into bed, then leg-it! For the first night I could hear her climbing out of bed as I did the stairgate shut (I pulled the door to as well) then tried to leg it into the living room with the door adjar before she got to the gate. After the first night she very rarely bothered to get out of bed. I still have to go in sometimes to resettle her once, but never more than that now. (Well not unless she is poorly)

At night time she started sleeping through when I stopped BF, and it only took 3 nights before she got the hang. I don't know if maybe you stopped giving him what he wants (cuddling?) when he wakes in the night that would help.

You would have to be very strong (and patient!) - I think it is a case of remembering who is in charge and not giving in!

aless02

ladybirdintheuk wrote: »

You would have to be very strong (and patient!) - I think it is a case of remembering who is in charge and not giving in!

I think this is most important point. At E's age, it's becoming a power struggle and he can sense it. Also, just know that it WILL be hard, there WILL be tears from both sides but that it's for everyone's good. Remember you're helping learn how to sleep independently, a vital development skill, NOT abandoning him or similar emotions. The longer you leave it, the worse it will get and harder it will be change it.

I think it's possible in 5 nights, definitely. It takes most people 3-4. The first is the hardest, the 2nd is better, the 3rd often sees a small relapse and the 4th is where it really clicks in. If you start tonight, you'll have the advantage of it being the weekend. And once it's all over and you're getting a full night's sleep, you will be so happy you stuck with it.

TBH, Bruno, you're just going to have to man up a bit and stop giving in to him. :o:o (for lack of better phrase!)

(I think the key for E's age is not giving him the contact he's seeking, resettle with no speaking and only minimal touch. Don't engage. Very Supernanny.)

aless02

Oh and hugs for MDW...that's really awful of your DH do to that without discussing it first. I'd be furious!

SS, kill that mossie!!

eta: Happy Birthday, Jillie!

jillie1974

Morning....
not fully caught up yet.

Had a lovely anniversary yesterday and got 2 lovely presents from Kian and DH for my birthday today.
Off out in a while with PIL and niece and Kian, so wont be on much today

BrunoM

There is no re-settling without giving in to him though, so it'll be the lengthy screaming each time. I have this week been trying to not get into the lengthy cuddling, in exactly the hopes that by not giving him what he wants he will stop asking.
What happens is, I go in, he is standing up demanding cuddles, I tell him to lie down and sleep, he wails, I try to physically manoeuvre him into lying down, he clings and fights and screams, I have to choose between physically forcing him flat (achieves nothing, he stands up instantly if I let go), giving up (achieves nothing, he continues standing and wailing), or cuddling him.
I go for as short a cuddle as possible, I am managing just a count of 5 most times the last couple of days, before lying him down.

However, clearly that's not working, so I suppose I have to try more extreme measures, but the thing is that there is no halfway house - I can't resettle with contact more minimal than he is getting, so all I can do is lock the door and ignore him.

JAM1376

Bruno - I have exactly your problem but with a 12 month old in her cot. I can only send you massive hugs and lots of luck and patience. Reading the replys to makes makes me want to do it with C but I don't know if I have the strength at the minute. I could have written your last post!!

Happy birthday Jillie xxx

Hugs to all xxx