Buffy's Adventures at the Post Office......

elliemoo

Buffy just hang in there. It is painful but you will find an out, I can't say what that will be but hang in there and keep posting.

chevalier

Buffy I am so sad for you that you are down, but.....

How can i put this, you say you have a crap job, you hate living at home, you are crap at getting organised, you hate being lonely, you are crap at getting your marking done, you hate not being able to drive, you are crap at remember to plan packed lunches, eat well during the day, and you hate that your health is so pants

Do you see where I am coming from. I am sure I have seen you posting on memory girls thread. Is it maybe that so much negativity is attracting more?

How about looking at it another way?

You have a job. And once your debt has gone, you will have a better one.

You get t see loads of your mum.

You understand that you have an organisaitional problem and are working on it. You haven't given p.

You are doing driving lessons. You will get them cracked soon and pass your test.

You acknowledge that you haven't been looking after yourself. That is the first step on doing something about it.

Is this more positive. Can you focus on the positives?

I really understand this ok. I have this problem too. I am ALWAYS tempted to see the worst in everything. It can take a massive effort to change ones point of view. But I am trying really hard at the moment. So that I am sending positive vibes out into the universe!

Like job hunting. Moaning that there are no jobs, and then not looking for any because there won't be any, will mean that I will still be unemployed by Christmas. At least if I look, then this is a positive thing and I never know when a job might jump out at me.

Right I am rambling now,

but I hope you can work through this.

PS well done on breaking off contact with EX I think it would have been extremely destructive of your self esteem to start being closer to him again

chev

macgirl

chevalier wrote: »

Is it maybe that so much negativity is attracting more?

Can you focus on the positives?

Hi Buffy

You have had some great advice, but I think Chev has hit the nail on the head. (That's not meant to sound critical, because like Chev, I'm guilty of it myself). You are in a spiral of negative thinking and if you can stop the negative thoughts as soon as you feel them - Actually say STOP! to yourself, then things will change dramatically.

Don't think of it as digging yourself out of a hole, or change that is scary, just simply monitor your thoughts and only allow yourself positive ones. Switch them from "I am getting fatter" to "I only eat healthy foods and am becoming healthier and full of energy and vitality"

At first it will feel like you are "acting", but what Chev is talking about is The Laws of Attraction (You Can Heal Your Life, The Secret etc etc) and I honestly think there is something in it.

I know you are scared of change and you're not alone there, but be brave, because everything your heart desires is within reach. Take the first steps today and change even small negative thoughts into positive ones. Do as Chev says:

I am lucky to have a job that I am good at
I have set myself challenges with the house and am making good progress
I have lots of friends and a good social circle. I am loved and lovable
I am happy and healthy and attract more of the same etc etc

In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, Louisa L Hay says don't make the affirmations about the future - make them about now, the present.
For example:
I am totally healthy
I am slender, I am prosperous, I move to a new exciting place, I love my job
Not "I want to be married, slim, move house" Because that makes it about tomorrow and tomorrow never comes.

As I say, it will feel false at first, but then it will quickly become a habit. I've been where you are - and worse - but there IS a way out and it's easier than you think Take care xxx

sallyx

Buffy Hun
I know exactly where you are coming from and I could have written a lot of what you have written. We do all have down days and periods so I am sending you lots and lots of hugs because sometimes a hug really does make you feel better (even if Im not the sexy partner you would rather its coming from lol)

So today...I will do some study because the study means I finish this module, the module counts for my degree, that gets me to teacher training, that gets me to some freedom and being able to support myself, to a better life and a house for us and a positive role model for my DD.

You will get to where you want to, its hard and there will be days when you want to spend it in tears (im having one of those today) but your friends will he here and around you and you will have happiness my friends

xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

thanks Sal xxxx

Shoe_Gal

LouiseJ wrote: »

You are in a "!!!!!! but safe" zone at work and even if the !!!!!! is realy bad its still a safe place, bit like prison.

Ouch:eek: Think that describes my job too

Shoe_Gal

Buffy, you have been given some great advice, I have nothing to add but am sending you lots of luck and love :A

Pippajo

Hey gorgeous! You have found where you are and thats the starting point of where you want to go. Every journey has to start somewhere.

Where do you think you would be now if you hadn't lost your dad? is that still achievable, knowing that he is still "there" supporting you?

x

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello all
Thank you all for the advice etc, to be honest Pippa I think I would have my house and would have been to the US. You put it in such a lovely way and I do believe he is here helping Mum and me. Both those things are completely achievable so long as I don't chicken out at the lastminute and do something to sabotage myself as I have been doing, something as small as spending on a cc, messing up a move on a driving lesson or letting things go at work and ending up in a stressy mess of my own making.

I have never doubted that I could do it, its just as I said I know that get close and then don't let "me" have it if you see what I mean. Procastination and fear stop me. I will find a way to over come these, some ideas in the past have worked and I am sure there are more. The debt is lower then it has been in years (just under 6,000 including recent house spends on fencing and cooker!!) and although work is crap my other job is wonderful and so is my social life.

I have asked for the diary to locked tho because I feel it is getting a bit too personal and I find it hard to explain myself without feeling on the defensive. I know all advice is well meant and I already feel really silly for asking for it to be locked but I think I can't be completely honest on here cos of job and although things look negative on here for me this is a place to empty my head, it doesn't always represent how I feel about my life as a whole.

Really in future I should just stick to the money talk!!

Honestly from the bottom of my heart thank you all

Love Buffy

xxxx

Pippajo

I hope this gets in before its locked!

It is hard when you have to protect your identity. Just make sure you stay around so we know when you have passed your test etc. Your debt figure is brilliant and the house is better with the recent spends. Remember not to beat yourself up.

x