Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

MDE

gaily wrote: »

I'm assuming that previously she didn't have a job, so was living on the £30 from Dad....

If she could afford the gym and mobile before....

...and my partner gave her £30 per week, plus paid for expenses such as mobile, clothes and gym.

No, it seems that daddy was paying for gym, mobile and clothes IN ADDITION to the £30 p/w.

This is what i'm saying, when she's been given so much before, to take all this away (which is what is implied) AND try and extract money from earnings does seem to be a significant change for this young lady to handle. If she's now paying for her own gym membership and mobile, and clothes, then tbh £20p/w isn't a bad starting point. Remember she's still learning to manage her money having had daddy do it for so long, and she probably has things she wants to buy having just started earning- as we all did when we started working- first car etc.

Let her settle down, enjoy having some money and the talk to her again about it in a few months time.

cotsvale

I was from a 1 parent family and had to give 50%

Cloudane

MDE wrote: »

No, it seems that daddy was paying for gym, mobile and clothes IN ADDITION to the £30 p/w.

This is what i'm saying, when she's been given so much before, to take all this away (which is what is implied) AND try and extract money from earnings does seem to be a significant change for this young lady to handle. If she's now paying for her own gym membership and mobile, and clothes, then tbh £20p/w isn't a bad starting point. Remember she's still learning to manage her money having had daddy do it for so long, and she probably has things she wants to buy having just started earning- as we all did when we started working- first car etc.

Let her settle down, enjoy having some money and the talk to her again about it in a few months time.

That's a fair point. Ease her in gently perhaps - maybe a compromise, £20 now with an agreement to increase it after 6 months when she's used to it.

"Real life" isn't so kind as to ease you into things instead of dropping financial bombshells of course, but as long as she knows that.

DUKE

Paying for food & clothing's one thing but you paid gym costs too? :eek: She spoiled! I'd give her the room for £20 then bill her for any extras

bigwedgie

twenty pounds per week is a reasonable start IF she is also contributing to the workload i.e heping with everyones washing, ironing, cooking etc

Morporkian

Everyone who is saying that there isn't a difference in income between the two situations is, most likely, wrong.

Granted, the OPs situation doesn't include the 25% Tax Reduction, as there are already 2 (or more) adults in the house. However, this does apply at times. Also, once a "child" leaves full-time education Child Benefit is stopped. This is currently £20.30 per week. If a family is choosing to give £30 pw + additional "expenses", they are obviously using all of this money and then any of their own and/or any additional benefits they receive due to someone being a "child".
If the person in question has been at Uni and so Child Benefit etc is not in question, then surely the person would also have been getting some sort of a student loan to cover this, or working part-time to cover the additional costs? If this is the case, then now that they are working full time, this should make up for the "lost earnings" that the parents have been covering. Also, by working full time, they are accepting that they are now an adult and should be contributing towards the household. If they were quite happy to TAKE £30 from the parents when they were "in need", then surely they should be willing to GIVE the same now that they can?
*Edit: As for the specific "extras" that were once being covered for her, I still stand by what I said. She is now working full time and can either afford to pay these for herself or choose to drop some to allow her to have more money for socialising etc. Those are the choices we are all faced with as adults and the sooner she learns this, the better.

My DF was paying most of the bills when he lived at home when his Dad was alive and then all of it when he died. His Mother didn't pay it, as she did not work. The house (council house) was passed into her name when his Dad died, but HE was the one paying it all because HE was working. Are people here suggesting that he should not have paid because his Mother "should never have even contemplated charging their child to live in the family home"?! That is ridiculous and I highly doubt that the local council would have taken that reasoning!

gaily

MDE wrote: »

No, it seems that daddy was paying for gym, mobile and clothes IN ADDITION to the £30 p/w.

whoops - missed that bit. but maybe she should have to work out what's important to her - ie gym and mobile and going out - as Meatloaf said - 2 out of 3 ain't bad....

I think I'd still charge the £30, but make the difference up somehow - either in a new top every now and again, or £10 to go have a drink down the pub, or topping the phone credit up.

My parents charged me when i came home from Uni and started earning - at about the same limit - it was £100 monthly, but this was 10 years ago.

I got a huge shock when i moved out and spent that on rent alone!!!!

Cerisa

She wouldn't be able to negotiate with a landlord so don't let her negotiate with you. I cannot believe she thinks £10 is worth arguing over.

bargainbetty

As soon as I found a full time job, I was asked to pay 25% of my income, via standing order no less, to the household pot. I was also expected to meet my own costs such as a mobile phone, transport, clothes etc, except for at Christmas and birthdays when I was allowed to request specific gift vouchers etc.

Sorry, but this is her chance to learn how to budget properly. Show her the list of how much the place actually costs to run, and explain that as an adult she needs to contribute. That is the lowest portion of her income that she will ever get away with as a total household bill, so she should learn to be a bit less selfish about it.

Failing that, if she refuses point blank, put locks on the cupboards, a key lock on the phone, and tell her to start paying for her own food, calls, laundry costs etc. Let her see just how much help you are still giving her at £50 per week.

Good luck x

MDE

Cerisa wrote: »

I cannot believe she thinks £10 is worth arguing over.

But then, so does the OP. Swings, roundabouts....