Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

brokeinwales

Well, at least she's showing a willing to pay something -many eighteen year olds scoff at the idea of paying parents anything at all! If it's more the principal of the thing, than the money itself, why not agree to split the difference and call it £25 (she'll be learning negotiation skills in the process!) Perhaps you could also outline what she's expected to pay for/ do herself.
My younger sister pays my Mum board at quite a low rate, but she also has to buy and cook her own food, and do all her own laundry and chores etc. She also pays for the broadband/ telephone line as she uses it far more than my Mum does. Perhaps that kind of deal could work out better?

Ebenezer_Screwj

Calculate exactly how much it is costing you to keep her and tell her to pay up. If she refuses tell her to find another hotel.

John_Pierpoint

There is nothing worse than "permanent adolescent" boomerang kids, sponging off their parents in their 20's. It is incredibly bad for their self esteem. "Keeping" the little darlings is the worst thing you can do - It is like abusing a wolf by turning it into a lap dog.

That said, parents should not kid themselves that their children some how "owe them" for having been born - they don't.
They (and you) have obligations to their children

"We are all adults and this household has to stand on its own feet" has been my attitude - funny thing: I got to play banker and only expected the kids to pay the marginal cost of using the family facilities (EG I would like to borrow the car to go to Brighton? Right that is three gallons of juice to your account!). I certainly did not expect to have my mortgage paid.
I also expected the kids to save towards their own independence, and refused to act as banker for "luxuries": "You want to go on a P*ss *p holiday with you mates you had better save up for it".
Get that self reliance across to teenagers and they will want to stand on their own feet, go on gap years and generally behave like adults.

eurovision_fan

I'm a young person on a part time job only earning £110 per week and I pay £30 board to my mother, therefore I feel £30 on a £200 wage is far too short in my opinion.
I feel it only fair that 1/4 of any wage is given over to board/bills to help show the value of money.
Mind you I pay my own bills (mobile/C.Cards etc.) plus the £30 board so I usually only have £15 per week to myself and I just about survive.

soco1

£20/wk? I was paying that to my Mum for the room only 25yrs ago! Didn't included food, washing etc.

Once I started work I was told to pay 1/3 of take home pay for my room. Other option was to get my own place!
I was also expected to pay 1/3 of household utility bills when they came in.

Surfer

At the £30 that is for nothing. She should be paying at least £60 if not more as I bet she eats more than £30 per week never mind electric, etc that she uses. A more sensible amount would be at least £90 a week.

Pellyman

Sounds to me like she has already learned the value of money ! ! !

I doubt you will want (or be prepared) to ask her to leave over the disputed £10, but she is obviously not being reasonable and you should, at least, let her know that you are even unhappier about her not paying then she is ever likely to be about paying. A little guilt can go a long way.

As you are a 'Martin's Money Saver' you doubtless know the basic costs of maintaining your home and feeding the family. Put it down on paper, give it to her and point out how little her token £30 contribution will make to your outlay, just to prove you aren't just money grabbing. It may also help if you tell her the percentage of your and your partners' earnings that are left as 'spending money' once you have paid the household bills; compared to the 85% she wants to keep of her earnings. Of course, if yours is over 85% say nothing, accept the £20 and be grateful you've got her company to keep you young and give you both grey hair sooner rather than later!

In view of her attitude the one thing I wouldn't do is continue ANY of the perks she has been receiving so far. If you do she will not only never learn the value of money but she will probably never move out either.

You don't say whether you or your partner are the daughters mother but if YOU aren't I strongly recommend you stay out of it - or you risk being very miserable in the near future!

RedSpecs

Back when I lived with my parents I paid £25 a week and felt lucky for it. I wouldn't have got anywhere near that renting a private room with a load of loony strangers!

If she thinks £30 is expensive then challenge her to find other accommodation for less.

Stick to your guns - you're right to teach her the value of money.

Gregm

I don't think the wealth of the 'parents' has anything to do with this, back in the 80's my parents ran a successful business and I opted to do something completely different and joined a 'YTS' course. I was earning about £25/week and paid my parents £12 week board.

When I got a 'proper' job I then paid 30% of my take home pay to my parents for board. My parents probably didn't need the money but that was not the point, the point was to teach me to stand on my own two feet. I have no regrets and never begrudged paying.

Assuming that the OP is part of an 'average' family then they have probably lost Child Tax credit at some point when the daughter left full time education (Uni is apparently not included), this is about £44/week (£2300/year), more if only child in the family. So now the parents have to find this money from elsewhere to put towards the cost of keeping their daughter, WHERE? WHY?

I would be interested to hear how many people on here only pay 10% or 15% of their gross earnings in rent, let alone include food, utilities and laundry in that as well. I bet everyone that says yes is living at home, everyone that says no is living in the real world.:eek:

OP. Stick to your £30, yes give her the option to work out how much it costs to live with you and on own and if she can do it cheaper then let her. You got to be cruel to be kind.

RedSpecs

Think of what this girl will be like in 20 years' time if you don't do something about her selfishness now.

Probably something like my sister who, at age 41, still owes my Dad (and the banks) thousands, yet would still pay for her roots and nails to be done before she pays her mortgage (and she only moved out of our parents' house 4 years ago, after she and I had an argument about the definition of 'sponging' and 'freeloading').

It struck me, reading these other replies, that the wealth is draining out of the pockets of the common people and pooling in the coffers of high street fashion chains and cheap Chinese manufacturers. That's where all the money's going in this recession, and its all down to the kids managing their money poorly.

So, that £10 IS worth the argument, if not for the girl's future, then for humankind!!