Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

edited 31 August 2010 at 6:04PM in Money Saving Polls
213 replies 77.2K views
Former_MSE_ArchnaFormer_MSE_Archna Former MSE
1.9K Posts
MSE Staff
edited 31 August 2010 at 6:04PM in Money Saving Polls
This is a real life MMD so please bear in mind the MoneySaver in question will read your responses:
Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...
How much board should I charge?

My partner’s daughter is 18 and has just started a full time job. She was at uni part-time before that and my partner gave her £30 per week, plus paid for expenses such as mobile, clothes and gym. She’s now earning over £200 a week and we’ve asked her to pay £30 a week towards board, so she can learn the value of money. She thinks it isn’t fair and says she’ll only pay £20. Should we make her pay up?
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  • "quote" MSE Archna
    My partner’s daughter is 18 and has just started a full time job. She was at uni part-time before that and my partner gave her £30 per week, plus paid for expenses such as mobile, clothes and gym. She’s now earning over £200 a week and we’ve asked her to pay £30 a week towards board, so she can learn the value of money. She thinks it isn’t fair and says she’ll only pay £20. Should we make her pay up?

    Hello MSE Archna
    In my opinion your partner's daughter should be paying more than £20 per week, if she is working full time then she is responsible to pay board, if she had to live away she would have to pay an awful lot more than that per week.
    I would insist she pays the £30 pw you are asking for or tries to find somewhere else as cheap as that and stick to your descision.
    I personally feel that young adults have it far too easy now, when i left school i earnt a measly £25 per week, i had to give my mother £15 pw, it certainly taught me the value of money.

    Good luck
    I believe life is to be lived, not worked, enjoyed, not agonized, loved, not hated.....
  • McKneffMcKneff Forumite
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    £30 a week and she is moaning, so it leaves her £170 a week to herself.

    Tell her to pay up or ship out. She should be paying at least £60 a week.

    Dont let her get away with it,

    If you must write everything down and split the gas, elec, water, rent, food, etc etc, etc, present it to her
    and tell her she must pay her way or find somewhee else to live.

    Follow through though or you will regret it.
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
  • karenccs67karenccs67 Forumite
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    I think at least £50 a week. My daughter leaves college next year and we have already had this conversation and she understands that as a working adult she need to contribute to the household. If she thinks she can get it all for less elsewhere, let her try.
    ***Dont save what is left after spending, spend what is left after saving***
  • droniddronid Forumite
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    £30 a week! Gosh, that's good. Lucky girl! Up here in London a room in a house is £80 a week minimum. And how much does she pay seperately for heating, water, light, internet, food, domestic phone, TV license, Council Tax and insurance? She is getting a good deal. Has she considered looking for an alternative place? If she needs to learn, she needs to learn. She will not be able to negotiate a reduction of a third of her costs in the future and has she said why £30 a week will leave her short?

    Sorry if that seems harsh but it really isn't!

    I could make it better myself at home. All I need is a small aubergine...

    I moved to Liverpool for a better life.
    And goodness, it's turned out to be better and busier!
  • TechnoTechno Forumite
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    I agree with Mckneff and dronid - work out what your costs are to run the household and divide by the number of adults - that's a fair contribution - I would think she'll be quite shocked by how much it actually costs to run a house :). Otherwise a minimum of 1/3 of take home pay (you can always do what a friends mum did for her as a suprise - save any amount over the £30 or all of her contribution if you are feeling generous and give it to your partner's daughter when she leaves home as a deposit for a flat/house etc)
    ;) If you think you are too small to make a difference, try getting in bed with a mosquito!
  • zipman23zipman23 Forumite
    291 Posts
    Car Insurance Carver!
    £30 is peanuts for someone earning £200 a week. My parents and I always agreed that when I was earning a living from a full time job I would pay £120/month board! If she can find the same things for less, kick her out :)
    English by birth. GEORDIE by the grace of God.
  • Are there tax implications? What's the max that can be charged prior to it becoming an issue?
  • TechnoTechno Forumite
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    Isn't it the same as the rentaroom scheme so about £5k (ish)
    ;) If you think you are too small to make a difference, try getting in bed with a mosquito!
  • edited 31 August 2010 at 11:29PM
    RuthnJasperRuthnJasper Forumite
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    edited 31 August 2010 at 11:29PM
    McKneff wrote: »
    £30 a week and she is moaning, so it leaves her £170 a week to herself.

    Tell her to pay up or ship out. She should be paying at least £60 a week.

    Dont let her get away with it,

    If you must write everything down and split the gas, elec, water, rent, food, etc etc, etc, present it to her
    and tell her she must pay her way or find somewhee else to live.

    Follow through though or you will regret it.

    Thanks for the calculations McKneff! £170 per week to herself?! That's what I have a MONTH, once all bills are paid! :wall:

    Seriously though - I'm in my early thirties and lived with my parents until around 18 months ago (when my name finally came up on the Housing Association/Council's list). I appreciate what a relative luxury this was and will ALWAYS be grateful to my parents. However, part of me wishes my parents had been firmer with me, and forced me to grow up sooner. Due to my own complacency and lack of a grasp on reality, I now have an IVA and live in comparative hardship.

    In addition, I remember a former colleague (a successful, independent, wealthy woman) telling me that her mother had kicked her out when she was 16. When I expressed horror, she said "No - it was the best thing that could have happened to me."

    If I were the OP, I would cut the daughter some slack until she is 21. She's still likely to be relatively immature. However, I WOULD expect more than £30 per week.

    I paid my parents £40 - BUT - I did ALL my own food shopping, plus all my own laundry (paying for washing powder, etc.), as well as 'phone calls, contribution to TV licence and utilities, etc.

    At the end of the day, only the OP can judge. If the daughter is conscientious then I'd be more prepared to be lenient. HOWEVER, in THIS case, she sounds like she's more concerned with luxuries and a social life.

    I'd advise sitting down together, without tempers flaring if possible, and work out how much everything costs. Agree on a FAIR contribution and get all parties to agree to a plan (and everyone sign it if possible). Don't pre-judge the daughter - she may have no conception of what Council Tax, utility bills, etc., actually cost.

    But - above all - let her know that, whatever happens, she is still loved. On leaving home, my relationship with my father drastically improved - but my mother left me with the impression that I was nothing but an irritant and a disappointment, and I struggle daily to deal with that.

    Basically - the key to it all is open-ness and honesty. £30 is not generally an amount I'd consider reasonable - but each case is different. Ultimately, only you can decide. But it should be a FAMILY decision, not one against "the others". If the daughter cannot agree to a reasonable way forward, such as this, then perhaps a month's notice to leave may be the best option all 'round.

    Good luck. xx
  • McKneffMcKneff Forumite
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    zipman23 wrote: »
    £30 is peanuts for someone earning £200 a week. My parents and I always agreed that when I was earning a living from a full time job I would pay £120/month board! If she can find the same things for less, kick her out :)

    Love your avatar, I was born and bred Geordie, still am.
    Walker, next door to Wallsend.

    And you..........?
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
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