Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

MDE

gaily wrote: »

...she is £170 better off weekly than before...

Mobile, Gym and Clothes all free now then? Also I would assume some cost of travelling to and from work- car, bus or train.

MDE

Josie64 wrote: »

As for 'family' surely the parents are doing a good job by making sure the child know the value of money.

I would say that they're not showing the value of the money at all, they have done damage to this already. If they were giving an allowance of £30 p/w, why was the daughter not meeting the cost of the mobile, gym and clothes from that, as opposed to having it paid in addition to the allowance.

I just feel that the entire "learn the value of money" argument is a little flawed here for the reasons I have stated.

lhogg65

I agree entirely that £30pm is very reasonable. It's not always about covering the actual cost of a child living at home but as has already been pointed out, helping them to understand that being alive costs , and one day they will have to take complete responsibility for their basic needs over and above anything else.

Yes, we are discussing a family member here and I would be reluctant to press for more than the £30 stated based on the information given UNLESS the family was struggling to pay their bills, in which case each person earning must pay their way. I believe that we have a duty to our children to make them aware of the value of money without being too heavy handed.

A family discussion, with all members present, may help to clear the air and help the daughter to appreciate her situation. I hope the adults involved are united in their beliefs about what the amount of board should be. If not, they need to reach agreement before they confront the daughter.

This made me realise that I need to help my son (10) save more for this eventuality and beyond, so starting regular savings with 6% interest for 1st year.

Good luck.:)

dickydonkin

Tulgey_Wood wrote: »

She's going to get a nasty shock when (if) she moves into the real world someday and has to pay for things herself!
If she thinks £30 a week is too much out of her £200, why not suggest you forget about this whole "board" thing, and just split all the household bills like adults: food, electricity, gas, council tax, water rates.....work them out and show her how much her adult share of the household expenditure would be; £30 might not seem quite so "unfair" to her then.

Proper Geordie

Great thread - and a great point highlighted above

My daughter pays £100 per month board and looking at the postings - I suspect (indeed I know) we are undercharging.

Don't get me wrong, I do not wish my daughter to become a 'cash cow' for us, but I believe she should at least pay a realistic amount based on today's cost of living.

She works and has a reasonable disposable income so I suspect this will need to be reviewed with Mrsp and myself.

I agree totally with the above in respect of shielding someone from the harsh financial realities of the real world - oh, and I love the '(if)' bit of the quote which suggests to me your fledgling seems reluctant to leave the nest as well - although I can sympathise with house prices being the way they are and the difficulties of getting on the first rung of the housing ladder.

BTW - Not quite a Geordie - Durham - but black and white through and through.

I agree entirely that £30pm is very reasonable.

I bet it is - that equates to £6 per week on a five week month:eek:

MorecambeChris

I paid £10 a day, or £70 a week, when I was earning £250net a week.

silvercar

I hope I'm never in the position where I would charge my own child for living with me.

maybird_2

When did the age of majority change? I thought you officially ceased to be a child at 18. It's fair enough to treat family members different to lodgers etc, but at the end of the day your 'children' aren't 'children' over the age of 18 and need to start appreciating the realities of being an 'adult'. They want the good stuff - freedom to make choices etc, without the bad stuff - having to pay for things yourself! Life ain't like that.

And what about the rights of the parents to start living their own lives again? You sign up to raise a child to majority - you don't sign up to give them a life of riley well into their twenties and thirties at the expense of your own dreams!!! I wouldn't see any of mine on the streets, but I wouldn't want them to have an unrealistic view of life's quid pro quos either. And I might very well help them with a deposit for a house when the time comes - but that would be a gift I chose to make - not a demand they expect me to meet/subsidize. That's just taking for granted - never a good thing in any relationship.

And I expect to sort out my own nursing home - with my pension and the savings that I made because I was taught how to budget and save by my parents. I didn't have children for them to look after me when I'm old. I have a bit more independence and self respect than that.

In this case the 'child' is going to be unhappy whatever you take - no one LIKES money being taken off them. Wouldn't we all like not to have to pay for shelter, water, electric etc?? But do any of us 'adults' have a choice? No. Time to grow up.

dickydonkin

MDE wrote: »

Some of the posts here amaze me!



She's a family member, not a lodger!



Probably, but we're not talking about a B&B here are we- we're talking about FAMILY!



Where did you get that bit from? Prejudging me thinks! She could be trying to save for a deposit for a property rental or purchase!



A months notice for a family member to leave the family home. How ridiculous. :mad:



No, it's not. People looking to rent out rooms/ houses to lodgers are looking to make a profit, else why do it? Surely the OP is not looking to profit from family?



Note- gave her whilst at uni- was it ever agreed as a loan to be paid back- if not (and the OP doesn't indicate it was) this is unconnected to the issue of any board payment.



Making a family member sign what is effectively a tenancy agreement to stay in the family home. I can only assume you are joking!



FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY!

I'm all for MoneySaving, but some of the suggestions and comments here show a complete lack of family love and respect- they're basically suggesting you kick a family member out over £10p/w, or you make her live in the dark ages (no lightbulb, no clothes washing facilities etc). Is she even allowed to use the bathroom without additional charge??

MDE

Interesting point - but I suspect that for people who are more (for want of a better word) 'affluent', it is quite easy to be critical of homeowners who ask for a reasonable contribution to the upkeep of a household from family members who still live at home - and can afford to make such a contribution.

Many of the people on here I suspect have lost generic benefits such as child allowance etc. that I suspect for many kept householders heads above water.

For many - this money is now not being paid but the bills and the cost of living still increases.

The alternative for such people who feel it is not right to charge a FAMILY member a reasonable contribution to a household is maybe to default on a mortgage, fail to pay bills etc. - not deliberately, but due to the fact they have more outgoings than income, potentially ending up on the street - and who will ultimately pay for rehousing such people?

It is very important (I believe anyway), to emphasise that there is no free ticket in this life and by asking for a reasonable contribution for the upkeep of the FAMILY home is morally and economically justified in most situations.

I do accept that in later years that parents may need some extra help - in particular where lack of mobility is concerned - but as a mother/father who have spent the best part of their lives raising their children and sacrificing many things - I would suggest that some sacrifice is reciprocated.

And another thing - who generally gets the families house and chettels when the parents have passed on?

Nobody is suggesting making a 'profit' from family members -an unfortunate comment to make IMO, but in many cases, a family members contribution to the family home is a necessity.

Susan_Frost

I think it should be £50.

But you have already said £30, so ok, fair enough, stick with that. Increase it every year/pay rise. But also be very clear what it covers. I feel that it is her home and whatever is given should cover "everything" household, like food, gas, etc. and basic, not special, toiletries. It is a home not just a shared house.

If you do reduce it to £20 then, again, state what it covers, but maybe she has to pay for herself. Sharing bills does not work with a person like this as they just dont pay up. Which means they have control.

MattLG

Why does she think she has any say in the price of services? If she doesn't like your price, tell her to find a better one, and clear off.

Life is hard. She'll get over it.