Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

misterfish

We brought up our sons to be aware of the value of money and having seen too many others around us with adult children that were still subsidised by their parents even though they were working themselves. This seems to lead to the 'I want it and I want it now' attitude that is prevalent with many of the 'younger' generation. We were brought up to expect to work towards and save for what we wanted and also to save for our older age needs with both savings and pensions.

As a result our sons have a sensible attitude towards money and its responsibilities. When they were at university we assisted with expenses and living costs, but when they started working and were living at home they were expected to pay towards the costs of bed, board, clothes washing etc. We spent a while working out what would be a 'fair' payment and mutually agreed that 25% of the take-home pay would be fair. This offset the actual cost to us but also meant that they knew that life wasn't just a free lunch.

Now our sons both pay towards pensions, save money and still have a decent standard of living, but more importantly they know the value of money and take responsibility for themselves.

Misterfish

[Deleted User]

Put bunk beds in her room and rent out the second bed to a stinky old tramp for £10 to make up the difference. Then everyone gets what they want.

KxMx

Now she is earning it is only fair that she contributes to household bills. She will be using gas, electric, water, food etc and can't expect you to subsidize while she's earning a decent wage.
Point out that if she's not happy with the amount she can move out, and be paying a whole lot more!

MDE

MattLG wrote: »

Why does she think she has any say in the price of services? If she doesn't like your price, tell her to find a better one, and clear off.

Life is hard. She'll get over it.

And destroy a family over £10?

Seakay

zipman23 wrote: »

£30 is peanuts for someone earning £200 a week. My parents and I always agreed that when I was earning a living from a full time job I would pay £120/month board! If she can find the same things for less, kick her out

£30 a week is £120 a month!

MDE

dpassmore wrote: »

Interesting point - but I suspect that for people who are more (for want of a better word) 'affluent', it is quite easy to be critical of homeowners who ask for a reasonable contribution to the upkeep of a household from family members who still live at home - and can afford to make such a contribution.

Many of the people on here I suspect have lost generic benefits such as child allowance etc. that I suspect for many kept householders heads above water.

Agreed, but lets look at the original situation again....

My partner’s daughter is 18 and has just started a full time job. She was at uni part-time before that and my partner gave her £30 per week, plus paid for expenses such as mobile, clothes and gym. She’s now earning over £200 a week and we’ve asked her to pay £30 a week towards board, so she can learn the value of money. She thinks it isn’t fair and says she’ll only pay £20. Should we make her pay up?

As there have been handouts of £30 p/w plus the other expenses as listed, clearly this isn't a family living "on the breadline", so whilst your comment about loss of benefits etc is a valid and interesting one, it doesn't seem to really apply to this situation we are discussing here.

shellsuit

silvercar wrote: »

I hope I'm never in the position where I would charge my own child for living with me.

Why, what's wrong with that?

For example, your child is 22 and still living at home. They have a job and bring home £320 a week.

Are you seriously saying you wouldn't expect them to contribute to the household, even though they use gas, water, elec, broadband, telephone and let them eat for nothing?? That's not including mortgage, rent, council tax and insurances.

What are they going to learn from having their parents pay for everything?

It's not even about being wealthy or not, or whether you need their money or not. It's prepaing them for the real world when they get a place of their own and have to stand on their own 2 feet.

japmis

Tell her that this ship carries no passengers!! If she is working full time, then she can definitely afford to chip in on the bills. Life is not a free-ride!!

I also think you should stop paying for things like mobile phone, gym, transport, clothes etc. as she is earning full time wages, you shouldn't have to subsidise her lifestyle

Good luck! x

dickydonkin

MDE wrote: »

Agreed, but lets look at the original situation again....



As there have been handouts of £30 p/w plus the other expenses as listed, clearly this isn't a family living "on the breadline", so whilst your comment about loss of benefits etc is a valid and interesting one, it doesn't seem to really apply to this situation we are discussing here.

As there have been handouts of £30 p/w plus the other expenses as listed, clearly this isn't a family living "on the breadline", so whilst your comment about loss of benefits etc is a valid and interesting one, it doesn't seem to really apply to this situation we are discussing here.

I was not referring to any specific/personal situations on this thread.

minerva_windsong

£30 a week is a good deal!

I'd be inclined to have a look at what the going rate is for a one bedroom flat in your town (try Spareroom.co.uk or Rightmove to get an idea), with or without bills depending whether or not her board covers that, and see if that shocks her into realising she's very lucky to be getting rent and board for that little. Agree with those who said it's about the principle that 1) eventually she'll have to learn to budget and 2) she can't go through life expecting handouts from you and your OH.