Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

laminki

I think that your partner's daughter has to understand that it is not her decision how much is charged and that she is not in a position to complain or negotiate. Either she pays 30 or she rents elewhere. Either option holds potential benefits and potential disadvantages.

silvercar

shellsuit wrote: »

Why, what's wrong with that?

For example, your child is 22 and still living at home. They have a job and bring home £320 a week.

Are you seriously saying you wouldn't expect them to contribute to the household, even though they use gas, water, elec, broadband, telephone and let them eat for nothing?? That's not including mortgage, rent, council tax and insurances.

A lot of the items you mention are the parents choice in choosing a home. The child didn't choose the size of home and therefore the mortgage you have etc

It's not even about being wealthy or not, or whether you need their money or not. It's prepaing them for the real world when they get a place of their own and have to stand on their own 2 feet.

If you charge them any more than the extra it costs you to have them at home, then you are profiting from having them live with you. So IMHO, you could only justifiably charge for the extra electric, phone calls and extra food.

Maddie57

Why not sit your daughter down and make a budget with her covering all her expenses? This way you can see what she can afford to pay you and you can come to a compromise. You can show her an example of your budget with the utility bills/food/rent listed so she can see how much you need to pay out weekly or monthly so she knows you are asking for something reasonable. You could also agree to review the figure in a month/ 3 months time.

I think that you are quite within your rights to ask her to contribute now she is working but its a big culture shock to go from getting everything paid for you to having to pay everything plus digs and she will have little real budgeting experience.

ankspon

I would say about £50 per week,tell her to find her own place for that kind of money.inc bills

Evilm

In 2001 I used to pay £120 a month on a £360 take home. This did mean when I left home to get a house with a mortgage I didn't suddenly have to change my lifestyle to accommodate a mortgage payment.

groovygav

MDE wrote: »

Some of the posts here amaze me!

She's a family member, not a lodger!

Probably, but we're not talking about a B&B here are we- we're talking about FAMILY!

A months notice for a family member to leave the family home. How ridiculous. :mad:

No, it's not. People looking to rent out rooms/ houses to lodgers are looking to make a profit, else why do it? Surely the OP is not looking to profit from family?

Making a family member sign what is effectively a tenancy agreement to stay in the family home. I can only assume you are joking!

FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY!

I'm all for MoneySaving, but some of the suggestions and comments here show a complete lack of family love and respect- they're basically suggesting you kick a family member out over £10p/w, or you make her live in the dark ages (no lightbulb, no clothes washing facilities etc). Is she even allowed to use the bathroom without additional charge??

MDE

You are focussing on family in your posts, but family love and responsibility work both ways. I am sure that when the parents were subsidising the daughter's passage through uni they weren't doing it in the expectation of having the money paid back or even profiting out of it in the longer term. They were doing it purely out of love for the daughter and a desire for her to get a great start in life.

They've done that, and now it's only right that the daughter shows a little of the same love back, in appreciation for all that has been done for her. If she is so money-oriented that she refuses to give her parents an extra £10 a week towards the home they're providing then she is being totally selfish and needs a bit of "tough love" to help her realise just how good her family has been to her, and how important they are in her life.

I'm not going to examine any of the details such as what her actual take home pay is, whether she's still getting other perks from the parents, or whether she is now paying for things like the gym that she didn't have to before. The parents have decided on a figure that they feel is fair, and I'm going to trust that it is.

I don't think that this dilemma is really about teaching her the "value" of money (though it will help in that regard). I don't think it's about parents who are struggling to make ends meet (it sounds like they could afford to let her off paying board completely). And it doesn't matter whether the parents use the income towards household bills, treats for themselves, or saving toward a house deposit they can surprise their daughter with in the future.

I don't think it's a money dilemma at all. Like you I think it's about family, and the daughter now has an opportunity to show that she understands what that word really means.

JayD

Well, there seems to be a general concensus of opinion here that at the very least, your daughter should be paying you the £30 per week you have asked for.

I totally agree with this - but if she is determined not to, forcing her to pay it is not going to be easy! Good luck!

Talent

They are your children! You shouldn't charge them anything! We have 5 daughters, all had part-time jobs at school and uni but still got an allowance. None were charged one penny up to leaving home. When they did they handed their keys in and knew there was no coming back except for visits (one of them has pushed this to the limit though, LOL). We also paid for their driving lessons and bought them their first (used) car (taxed and insured). Of course, we could afford it, although we are not 'rich' by any means.

MDE

dpassmore wrote: »

I was not referring to any specific/personal situations on this thread.

But the whole point of the discussion in to debate the scenario outlined in the first post!

irritable

My son started work earlier this year. Having left college I had to start paying Council tax for him. So I had the 'what to charge' dilemma.
In the end I settled on taking one week's wages after tax, leaving the rest of the months earnings for him to keep. By using that formula I reckon that I can reasonably increase his contribution to the family budget in line with his rising income.
Certainly £30 from £200 is an entirely reasonable amount and Miss-Stroppy needs to wise-up and pay with a smile on her face.