Mum wants to wear my wedding dress

Glitzkiss

NAR wrote: »

I'm a bit concerned about OP's husband's attachment to the dress - does he wear it often? :eek:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Genuinely I laughed out loud at that comment

but I hope your dilemma has been sorted satisfactorily OP

lynnemcf

This thread makes me wonder what kind of people contribute to discussions, to encourage the OP to LIE to her MOTHER ...

shellsuit

I wouldn't let my Mum wear my wedding dress, no way.

Not when I can sell it on eBay and make my money back on it

I'd be sad that she thought she had the same dress sense as me!

If it was her 4th wedding in the same circumstances as the OP's Mother, then I'd suggest she wear a boiler suit and clown shoes, because she obviously doesn't take marriage seriously.

mookiandco

I've just got back from visiting my mum, I stayed over with her just so we could spend some time together.

I took the dress with me as I was still undecided but left it in the boot of the car. She asked me if I had bought it and I told her I had but still left it in the car. Last night she was telling me that someone in her village makes wedding dresses and had offered to go up to London with her to choose some fabric. We talked about it and I think I persuaded her that this was a much better option. I offered to meet her in London so we could go shopping together and chat about designs etc. I gave her my bouquet and tiara and we also chose a flowergirl dress for my daughter which I will buy tomorrow.

Whilst I accept that its just a dress at the end of the day, to all that attended the vow renewal including my mum, it was really my wedding as no-one was aware I got married 6 years previously. I didnt really want to mention it in my original post but suffice to say I eloped, told no-one and then had to 'get married' as if for real. So for all intents and purposes it was my wedding dress.

I also didnt want to mention that my mum not only wants my bouquet, tiara, dress and veil, she is also having the same registrar (who is having to travel quite a way to do it), the same service (which I gave to her ) and the same chuppah (jewish wedding canopy which you stand under and say your vows) which was made especially for me.

I probably should have mentioned all of that before but I just wanted views about the dress so nothing else could cloud anyone's judgement because I was having trouble being objective about it all!

I really appreciate all the comments here, it gave me alot of food for thought!

onlyroz

I don't get it either - it's just a dress, and if it were me then I would be fine with my mother borrowing it if she really wanted to. But if you really don't want her to wear it then just be honest with her about your feelings.

peachyprice

mookiandco wrote: »

. She was married to my dad for 27 years (they renewed their vows and had the big white jewish wedding too).

It's a Jewish wedding? Oy vay, she definitley cannot wear your dress, can you imagine, everyone will talk about her, oh the shame.:D

KimmyCustard

Ive been married three times and took each one very seriously, regardless of what other posters on this thread may think (even the ones that spout this stuff and have never actually been married themselves).

You've done the right thing Mookie, Mums in their daughters wedding dresses is not going to be a good look, whatever style they are, just take a deep breath re the canopy, bouquet, tiara etc and enjoy wedding number 4 as best you can.

mountainofdebt

Perhaps if the OP's marriage is a happy one - and the mum has had 2 disasterous ones - the mum, by borrowing the OP's wedding items, is hoping that some of the happiness will follow.

shellsuit

KimmyCustard wrote: »

Ive been married three times and took each one very seriously, regardless of what other posters on this thread may think (even the ones that spout this stuff and have never actually been married themselves).

You've done the right thing Mookie, Mums in their daughters wedding dresses is not going to be a good look, whatever style they are, just take a deep breath re the canopy, bouquet, tiara etc and enjoy wedding number 4 as best you can.

If you mean what I said, then I did say being married so many times and the same circumstances as the OP's Mum, how she described them. Such as marrying and leaving Mr boring etc..

I'm getting married in 5 weeks and only plan on marrying the once, but don't we all?

I wouldn't knock anyone who is marrying more than once if their heart is in it, but if they're marrying for the sake of it, as it seems here, then I would.

ceridwen

mookiandco wrote: »

I also didnt want to mention that my mum not only wants my bouquet, tiara, dress and veil, she is also having the same registrar (who is having to travel quite a way to do it), the same service (which I gave to her ) and the same chuppah (jewish wedding canopy which you stand under and say your vows) which was made especially for me.

My gosh - your mother is pushing her luck all round then isn't she? I know nothing about the Jewish religion - but I would imagine that both the service and the chuppah are also things that feel "special to you". With this being your mothers 4th wedding at that - then I really do urge you to put your foot down and tell her straight "Stop trying to lead MY life - I'll lead my life and you lead YOURS."

It could be taken as an odd sort of compliment that she seems to prefer your life to her own - but it feels odd to me....