Mum wants to wear my wedding dress

mookiandco

Just want some opinions really.

I renewed my wedding vows (after 6yrs ) in 2008. I had the big(ish) white wedding this time round as we had nothing the first time. As her wedding gift to me, my mum bought my wedding dress. I had it especially fitted and customised so that it was my dream dress.

Fast forward 2 years and my mum is getting married for the 4th time (the less said about that the better!). She gets married in about 6 weeks time. She just called and said she hadnt even started looking for a dress yet...... then she asked if she could borrow mine. She also asked to use my tiara and my handmade bouquet (its not made from flowers!!). I dont mind the tiara and bouquet though. She said she too wants to do the big white wedding as her fiancee has never had a big wedding. She asked if I could bring it for her to try this weekend. I didnt really say anything when she said it.

My husband is really upset that she would even suggest it. He said the next person that should wear my dress is our daughter (if she wants to!). I agree with him and feel a bit weird about it and upset that she'd ask. Part of me feels that because she paid for it she feels she has a right to it. I'm not happy about the wedding at all so I suppose it grates on me even more. I'd be grateful for any opinions. I dont really know what to say to her if i'm going to say no (she's the sort of person to go off at the deep end and hold a grudge).

meritaten

is mum the same size as you then? if not then it wont fit and will look awful! be honest with her!
if you ARE the same size the style may not suit her - just point out all the bad parts! If that doesnt put her off I dont know what will!

fernliebee

Could you just outright lie, say it was in the loft and has been nibbled by a mouse and that you are devastated so don't even want it mentioned again or you may cry

SugarSpun

Doesn't she remember that big red wine stain down it?

Money_maker

Just say no. Tell her its a very special dress to you and you dont feel you would like to see anyone else in it. Offer to go shopping with her for a style more suitable for her (age, though dont mention that). Sometimes webs of lies leave you tied up so just tell it like it is.

aliasojo

Lots of daughters will wear their Mother's dress, that's quite a normal thing so I suspect your Mum doesn't think there would be any issue if it was the other way round.

I wouldn't lie, I'd be honest and tell her how special your dress feels to you and you'd rather she didn't wear it. Offer to help her find her own.

mookiandco

She's not the same size as me but the dress has a corset back so it might fit. I did say that I am much larger than her on top (we used to be the same size but she had a breast reduction) but she just said dont worry about that i'll pad it!

I havent got a loft (or mice for that matter)!!!

I'm starting to think that maybe I will let her try it on and hope that it doesnt fit/looks awful/makes her look like mutton dressed as lamb. I am just a little scared to risk it in case she thinks she looks wonderful!

Errata

Tell her she'll look like mutton dressed as lamb in it, that should put her off !

minimoneysaver

I really think that you need to be honest with her. I am sure that there will be a bridal shop somewhere that sells off the rack sample dresses. Fingers crossed you and her can find something special... it doesn't have to be your something special. That is your personal choice. Say your piece and stick to your guns!

LilacPixie

Just say no. Just as you stated here you feel the next person, if ever to wear your dress will be your daughter if she wants to.

SUESMITH_2

if she is much smaller on the top the dress won't fit right, yes you can full the waist in but it wont fit right around the bust and there is nothing worse than the bride twisting sideways and the dress staying where it is cos it gapes at the top. it just doesnt look tight.

tell her to buy her own as it was bought for your big day and dont want anyone else to wear it which is why you never sold it; also no offence but the dress might be a bit young for her - dont tell her that bit though