Mum wants to wear my wedding dress

Jinx

Personally I wouldnt let your mum have the dress OP.

I got married for the 2nd time in Nov in a scarlet dress and it wasnt expensive but was custom made and suited me perfectly. However it was MY dress, all my photos are of me wearing it and I know it will never suit my daughter and I dont care lol

Edited to add the first dress (ivory) became my DDs dollys pram covers... is that bad??? lol

BitterAndTwisted

I'd pay good money to see the OP's mother in that lovely dress. Unfortunately what wouldn't come over in a photo is her self-delusion that a dress worn by someone in the generation below her would be appropriate for a woman in her 50's. This mother was married to her first husband for 27 years so she could actually be in her 60s. In a fancy white wedding dress! For her fourth marriage!

I know it's unkind of me and I do realise that customs have changed radically over the decades but I don't think quite that much

GracieP

Perhaps I don't have a clue as tbh I hope I'm never faced with such an issue as my parents are happy and healthy. But I imagine I'd be honoured if my mother ever wanted to wear my wedding dress to get married in. Sorry.

pimento

It's not even a wedding dress, you were only blessed in it, not married.

Let your mother borrow it.

gratefulforhelp_2

OP wedding dress or no, you don't want to lend it and you want to keep it for your daughter? Make a compromise with your Mum, tell her she can have the bouquet and tiara but you want to keep the dress for her granddaughter. Seems totally reasonable to me.

eta and if your daughter chooses not to wear it, that's fine, she will have had the opportunity.

Michtaylor09

mrcow wrote: »

I think it's lovely that you have the opportunity to lend your dress to your mother on her wedding day.

And how generous and kind of her to have bought it for you in the first place.

Just my thoughts too.

A dress is just a dress. However pretty it is, however much it cost, it's still only a dress.

Your mum is your mum!

belfastgirl23

Michtaylor09 wrote: »

Just my thoughts too.

A dress is just a dress. However pretty it is, however much it cost, it's still only a dress.

Your mum is your mum!

but your husband is also your husband!

skylight

Did you tell her? How did it go?

MrsRogers

mookiandco wrote: »

She's not the same size as me but the dress has a corset back so it might fit. I did say that I am much larger than her on top (we used to be the same size but she had a breast reduction) but she just said dont worry about that i'll pad it!

I havent got a loft (or mice for that matter)!!!

I'm starting to think that maybe I will let her try it on and hope that it doesnt fit/looks awful/makes her look like mutton dressed as lamb. I am just a little scared to risk it in case she thinks she looks wonderful!

I wouldnt let her try it on... it could work against you - She could end up loving it on herself then it will be enven harder to say no!

Id be honest and say 'had a think and would rather you didnt wear my dress so lets go together and find you something special.
If being married 3 times already the items probably dont mean as much to your mum as they do to you.

Personally I wouldnt even let anyone try my dress on let alone wear it for their wedding.

Good Luck:j

MrsMoo2U

Ok, just found this thread. I hope that today went ok. I just realised it was today otherwise I was going to say, honesty is the best policy. I would have just sat her down and told her how you/your husband felt. Tell her that you will support her in this wedding (sounds to me like she needs all of the support she can get based on what you have said) but that you are uncomfortable with the idea of her wearing the dress but more than that you are between the devil and the deep blue sea. You want to help her out but you also love your husband and have to respect his feelings on this too. Sounds to me like your Mum would understand that, after all she is looking for what you have. And there is the crux of the matter. I guess that she thinks that if she wears your dress, she might have the love and life that you and your OH have. Whilst you dont agree with the wedding I applaud you that you are going to support her. You must love her very much and so tell her that too. It isnt worth losing your Mum over a dress. Believe me, you wont have her forever and if you fall out with her over this then you will regret it for a lifetime. If she chooses to fall out with you then at least you have been honest with her and reasonable, I am sure that (even if initially she sulks) she will completely understand.
Hope it went ok.