I've really had enough!- sorry its a long pathetic one.

oakdale_minx

hi there Klare - my freecycle group has had 3 or 4 cars come and go over the last couple of months. I would definitely join your nearest one via http://www.freecycle.org because there will probably be parents giving away bags of toddler clothes as well as goodness knows what (if it is anything like the one i'm a member of)

I grew up in Lincolnshire (well, humberside as it was then) and I know what you mean about the remoteness there transport wise.

Join liftshare - it is very good.

Although I don't have any children, I've been there with the desparate feeling of no money to even put food on the table. It is horrible. So I am right there with you, all the way.

Take care.

freda

Klare

How does your SOA for the CCCS compare to your spending diary?

I ask because it sounds as if you have an unrealistic SOA. You should have been able to put aside money for emergencies, to cover the car costs, and you should have a small amount for holidays etc. But if this is getting eaten away by other areas of your budget, you need to work uot a REALISTIC SOA for the CCCS to re-negotiate terms on.

Although, any DMP over 20 years long is, imho, impossible and you really should consider alternatives.

Mirtos

Hi Klare - we have had lots of cars offered on our local freecycle too - and I've seen some offered in the freebies section of https://www.gumtree.com too - maybe have a look and see what comes up over the next few weeks? I was wondering if you'd mind telling us a little about why you're SO averse to bankruptcy - that way we can maybe try to tailor our advice a bit better to stuff you do like the idea of. From the outside, bankruptcy seems like a sensible option, but obviously, we can't see what you think and feel about it IYSWIM? Talking to CCCS about re-negotiating your SOA sounds like a good plan - when I'm down like this, I always try to think of it in terms of "what have I got yo lose?" I can't pay money I don't have, and trying new ideas or advice that seems hopeless at first might just turn up something unexpected. I hope so much it does for you.xxx

klare_2

thanks once again, i promised myself i wouldnt come back on here today but here I am again...
I wonder if I should have gone into a little bit more detail when I first posted, although i definately wasnt in the right frame of mind to do so at the time...

Because of our incomes we are not entitled to any family working tax then the standard £500 odd a year now - due to an overpayment by them when we werent both working we are currently receiving nothing.

We are also out of the boundries of qualifying for any council tax / housing benefit.

Our mortgage is about £800 a month and we are tied into a two year deal. Because of our current financial credit state we are not in any position to negotiate a better deal / move etc and Ipromise I have investigated this.

Again, I still stand by what I say that bank cruptcy is simply not an option. It would threaten my OH's work / employment big style, so we have to stick this out till then end.

As for the depression - I know I sound like thats what I have but I really dont . I have ' despair' and hopelessness. I know thats not a recognised medical condition but thats what I have. Its not that I am not coping, more that there is nothing else that can be done and I have no energy left to go on banging my head.

I looked at the wheels to work - there isnt currently anything happening in my area and the other schemes only provide for young ppl ( upto 25 ) ..i only wish I qualified for that haha!
Yes we have looked at lift share - only trouble is OH does shifts that change from week to week so thas proving impossible. chances of someone being able to match with his only in a blue moon.

Geeni, thanks for offer of car ... that is more than kind.... the ironic thing is we currently have three cars and a motorbike -.. the bike needs a new part.. we cant afford to fix it! One car, needs three hundred spending on it to get it okay for an mot, it would then be woth at least 700-800 but hey guess what .. we cant afford it and to sell it without an MOT we would get only pennies .. and again yes we have done our homework on that. So we are left with our two cars, OH of which is not doing so good.
Its crazy, we have no money so we have had to buy crap cars which results in us needing to spend more and more money on them each month to keep them going. What really pi$$es me off is that the amount we have spent on rubbish cars we could actually have been paying for new cars that dont need an MOT for the first 3 years, would bemore economical with fuel and would also present a degree of peace of mond ( although I know its never guarenteed with any car)
OH is currently having to spend £200 a month on petrol. this would almost half with a diesel , but guess what .. we cant aford to get him a diesel car - its catch 22 over and over . If we could get him a decent diesel he could actually pay for the damned thing with the money he would save in fuel.

as for the time bank ... good idea but this is what my life consists of so far ...

I am employed for 40 hours a week, I have an hours drive to get there, an hours drive back. I have two children ( aged 3 and 2 ) who generally get up at half 5 every morning and other than using gaffer tape not sure what I can do about that , it doesnt change winter to summer, they just dont need masses of sleep), when I get home usally about 6pm, I then have to do their teas and start their bedtime routine. When they finally go to sleep generally about half 7, i then have to start getting my stuff ready for the morning and do my best to keep on top of the housework / washing etc. At the weekend i have my two step children with me ( so four all together) and OH is at work. so as you can see, at this moment in my life I dont have any time left to give to others , although it maybe something I could look at in the future.

Sure start .... it really isnt that I am not coping with the children, from the outside everyone thinks we are a regular middle class family - if such a thing exsists. I have access to all the things that surestart offers it really is just the money.


oh lord.i am even boring myself now .... see this is something else that i am fed up with, my whole flippin life revolves around how much money we havent got. It affects absolutely every molecule of our existence from what toilet paper we choose, through to missing out on so many opportunies because we simply cant fund them - I want to do a degree and even that cant happen , i cant afford it, theres no help from employers and a student loan is out of the question .....
argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ..... sorry folks, I am so fed up with this.

there has to be someone out there who has a magic wand .... even a slightly mystic twig would do ........ how about some enchanted fluff ..... actually, think i will copy right those and do a story about them on my blog!
copyright being .... dont nick 'em or I will send the OH around ....
now theres a thought maybe I have just hit on a good business idea - he could be a hit man, or I could start dealing in enchanted fluff ( is that legal - dealing enchanted fluff that is?)
who knows!

klare_2

one last thing... i just checked out the gumtree site, i have to saythat there were no cars, and its way out of myarea but the posts have made me laugh, so thanks for that.

quantumleap

Klare, you're posts have tugged at my heart strings to be honest and I can't not post. I admire the fact that you aren't willing to consider bankruptcy and I can appreciate why, if it will affect you're husbands employement. However, it seems to me that you are deeply unhappy and to be honest if it continues I would be concerned about you're health and that of your OH.

In my opinion nothing, particularly financial problems are worth risking you're health and happiness, especially over a period of 21 years.

Have you investigated bankruptcy and the affect it would have on you're home and you're OH's employment or are you assuming? If you are assuming, then to be honest I would look into it in order to ensure my assumptions were correct.

Whatever you do, I wish you well, I really do.

And remember, yesterdays history, tomorrows a mystery but today is a gift.

klare_2

hi quantumleap , yes we know that it would have a detrimental effect on his employment, and whilst I know I have my own health to look after I also have that of my other halfs and he needs his work ( long long story behind that which I amnot going to bore anyone with) . Bankcruptcy really is not an option. Even if it didnt have so many knock on effects, I still wouldnt consider it. There has to be another way to sort this out, I just havent found it yet.
...oooopppppppppsssssssssssss. could some of my positivity be coming back already .... thats the moneysaving magic fo you!

Storm

klare wrote:

there has to be someone out there who has a magic wand .... even a slightly mystic twig would do ........ how about some enchanted fluff ..... actually, think i will copy right those and do a story about them on my blog!
copyright being .... dont nick 'em or I will send the OH around ....
now theres a thought maybe I have just hit on a good business idea - he could be a hit man, or I could start dealing in enchanted fluff ( is that legal - dealing enchanted fluff that is?)
who knows!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Love the idea of enchanted fluff - put in on Ebay, someone will buy it!:D

rog2

Hi Klare,

No hugs, as requested, or sympathy. I think that you need, and deserve, a fresh start. If that means banruptcy is your best option, then you should consider it. There would be no shame - you, like the rest of us, can not acheive the impossible.

pounds_and_pensive

Have you considered breaking some of your unusable motors for parts and selling them? My husband did reasonably well doing this some years back, and even if it doesn't end up raising a huge bundle, it would at least provide *some* cash and in time free up the space taken by motors that are otherwise just sitting there doing nothing.