can anyone help????????

Dontknowanymore

GlasweJen wrote: »

CSA could take months to get involved especially as the father is claiming child benefit. To be honest with dads name on all the benefits this whole thing is going to take months to sort out and OP is going to have to prove that she has the kids, that they've really split up (if house is in exs name then they'll think he's still in it) and basically start from scratch with the whole system.

I actually think that DX2 is onto something with the refuge, the OP will be provided with shelter and will be able to apply for a house in her own right (as she could get kicked out of her house with no notice if ex surrenders it and she's not on the tenancy), can get benefits sorted with the help of people who have some clout and also make sure the kids go fed and help mum build up a network of friends away from the ex.

Although it may be difficult for OP to face there has been some definite emotional/financial abuse when you read this thread, not all abused people get battered OP, womensaid and the like can provide loads of support if you are willing to go down this road.

I would not recommend this!
I think the OP would find it hard pushed to be housed via this route just because her man has left her destitute and with no money.

RAS

Hi ella and folks

read casseus's thread here https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2652963

DX2

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

I'm baffled as to why people were recommending the OP go into a refuge.
All she needed was a bit of money, not 'refuge' from an abusive situation.
I understand Domestic abuse covers the financial side of things but seriously??????

She doesn't just need a bit of money, she has no money okay she has managed to get some to tide her over for a few days, but what about the next 11 weeks?
The house isn't in her name her ex can come back at any time a tell her to do one and a man that has left his ex and his children in so much sh!te anything is possible.
Is the OP going to be able to scrape by for the next 11 weeks until the benefits are sorted out? Not being able to feed her kids or have electric. Seriously I know where I would be at this minute in time. A refuge is more than just for battered women.

Teahfc

Classylady2010 wrote: »

This has to be one of the saddest things Ive ever read, thank goodnes for the folk on here,you have been given good advice and the children have been fed now, I wish I could help I cant bear to think of the children being hungry.
My thoughts are with you and if theres any justice in the world someone will look after you and your family
cl
x

I agree 100%, How the heck this can happen in 21st century Britain is beyond me.
Please please keep us all updated on how things go.

lisaf

Hi ella,

have sent you a pm.

Lisa xx

Indie_Kid

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

I'm baffled as to why people were recommending the OP go into a refuge.
All she needed was a bit of money, not 'refuge' from an abusive situation.
I understand Domestic abuse covers the financial side of things but seriously??????

But she'd have electric and food.

GlasweJen

Unfortunately the OP needs more than "a bit of money" she's going to need enough to keep herself and her kids for 12 weeks while child benefit, income support, and child tax credits get sorted. She is also in danger of losing her home at her ex's whim. Also she may not be able to claim housing benefit as she is not on the tenancy of the house and the house can be taken back at any time due to non payment of rent (we don't know if the ex has been paying rent) as well so the roof over her kids head is in danger from more than one angle.

Dontknowanymore

GlasweJen wrote: »

Unfortunately the OP needs more than "a bit of money" she's going to need enough to keep herself and her kids for 12 weeks while child benefit, income support, and child tax credits get sorted. She is also in danger of losing her home at her ex's whim. Also she may not be able to claim housing benefit as she is not on the tenancy of the house and the house can be taken back at any time due to non payment of rent (we don't know if the ex has been paying rent) as well so the roof over her kids head is in danger from more than one angle.

And you think she will get all this from a refuge?
They have no clout regarding housing or benefits, she will not get any of these things quicker from being in there.
Unless the ex turns up and turfs her out or she and her children are at risk of abuse, she really would have a hard job trying to be rehoused via refuge.
She would be better seeking help elsewhere (various agencys, shelter, ss, keeping on at MP's, all the different organisation listed here, than uprooting the children to god knows where because of a money/benefit and housing situation.
This is just my own opinion obviously, but seriosuly, after living refuge life and seeing the struggles that many women have faced in trying to be rehoused and sort benefits out I would not be advising the OP to go down this route.

casseus

ive been in this situation kind of. i split with the mum of my children weeks ago allthough i'm still friends with her and see the kids.

i relinqiushed all benefits so she had a passport to claiming.

child benefit messed up income support did also.


all i can say is that you need to get hold of your MP's office. you need to make a self refural to social services and ask for help under section 17.
you will be provided a social worker who then can call benefits especially child ben to tell them you are single. you need to get a claim form asap and send this form off regardless if he claims for your kids at the end of the day he will be overpaid not you. if you have access to the internet gon on the hmrc websit fill in an online claim form or pdf printable form. make appointment with MP asap they have hotlines to childbenefit manager and income support, they will get down to the bottom of your problems and advise you on what you need to do and how to do it.

see my urgent advice needed thread you will see what my ex has been through and i just to get her income support awarded.

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/forms/ch2-online-stubb.htm go here and download the child benefits form. make that appoinment asap with social services and your MP's office. your MP may be able to get the child benefit manager to fast track your claim by way of faxing it to him and then he will take it to the processing team, you will aslo have to send the printed copy off but they can accept the fax your mp sends off to fast track you.

in the mean time social services can help you no end you just need to call and refure yourself under SECTION 17.

have you seen the lone parent adviser at the jobcentre if not make appointment asap they will help you aswell. you will need to put these benefit sections under pressure or they will sideline you.

income support will suspend your claim due to not being in reciept of child benefit strictly speaking you do not have to be in payment but seen to be making a claim hence the need to get to you MP and fax a form through. your mp can confirm to income support that she has faxed child ben your claim form and will be able to make payment.

lemonpopcorn

hi ella please keep us updated would like to know how you're getting on xx