Trying for a Baby Part Six

QQuaver

phunkles wrote: »

nooooo theres been no actual asking of any important question
hmmm me and oh may be a little bit strange

C'mon, pop the question! Book the venue!:j
Or the other way around, it's 21st century after all:D

euronorris

BB1984 wrote: »

I heard a story/fable recently that is kinda relevant - it's about religion/god, but applies to fate as well. Something along these lines:

A very religious family were caught in a severe flood - the water rose up around their home, and they were forced to clamber up on the roof. They prayed to god to save them, as the waters rose. Some rescuers came and threw lifebelts to them, but the family said No, we are in god's hands - it is his will if we live or die. Then some firemen came in a boat and told them to jump in, but again, they kept praying. Then a police helicopter hovered overhead as the water lapped around them, and a rope came down...but once again they said that if it was god's will to let them live, they would. The water kept rising, and the whole family sadly drowned. When they reached heaven, they met god and asked him why he had not saved them - they were good devout people after all. He said "I sent people to rescue you three times, and each time you refused to accept my help. That is why you died".

So like euronorris says, we are dealt cards and it is up to us how we choose to play them!

It is a story from the Bible. I remember hearing it in Church fairly often as a child, and it's always stuck with me. I don't go to Church anymore, but the Bible does teach some good lessons, IMO. I don't agree with all of them, but some are good.

Sorry I can't remember - is there a particular reason why you have to wait? I'm sure that OH would soon get used to condoms if he had no other option! I def wouldn't start taking anything chemical again... You can get those really thin/sensitive condoms, would he give those a try? Or you could try the rhythm method?

Finances and location. OH also wants to be on a permanent local contract before we start. Only because his company have a habit of trying to screw him over. Twice now they've offered him local jobs (once whilst in BE and once here in NL) on a much lower salary than he's currently receiving whilst technically still on secondment from the UK. It's illegal to do that in both BE and NL, and each time they seem surprised he knows that. I tell you, the list of things they've f'cked up is so long, that if they ever try to push him out the door, he could sue them for quite a substantial amount of money. Anyway, he feels he's in a stronger position to negotiate with them when he doesn't have commitments such as a mortgage and a baby to consider. Otherwise, they'll probably offer a low salary again, knowing that with such commitements, he won't be able to use his usual argument of 'well, Euro and I aren't tied down, we can just get up and move back to the UK if we want.'.

Anyway, we had quite a chat about it a few backs and I told him how fed up I was of putting things off in order to get more money. I'm fed up of putting our lives on hold because of his job. I honestly don't think he had thought about it like that before. In his own little bubble sometimes, so he was only considering how it impacted on him. Anyway, there's been talk of a local contract on the same salary now, so we'll see. He's a bit cautious of what this will mean for him in terms of taxation and employee rights also, but we can always pay an expat expert to list the pros and cons for him before he makes a decision and accepts. If nothing has changed by June, and it's all still 'talk' (they do like to talk a lot and not do much), then I will talk with him again about it all.

And finances are obvious by my sig. I want them cleared before I start a family, ideally, and that looks like it will be around December this year.

No, I've tried to get him using the sensitive condoms before, but he still whinges about it and won't use them. We still do other stuff, but I miss actual intercourse and I certainly don't want to be without it for another 10 months! :eek:

Well, my DH is FINALLY home :j
I left work at lunchtime so that I could come home and see him (and have a cheeky welcome home BD!)
It's so nice to have him back.

Now, I have a question for you experts out there...on my FF calendar, it's telling me that I'm fertile all this week, with predicted ov on sunday despite my not having had a period....what's that all about?

BB

Glad you hubby is home and I hope you had a nice evening together

Edit: Need to google rhythm method.

euronorris

Wonder_Womble wrote: »

So you have to suffer migraines because OH doesn't like condoms??? :huh::huh::huh:

No, I don't have to. I didn't even consider it was the pills causing my migraines until someone mentioned it on this thread. So, I decided to have a pill free month to see if there was a noticeable difference and OH is in complete support of that.

It's just that now the migraines and headaches of subsided, I don't know what other options there are which aren't long term, other than condoms. So, he's either gonna have to get used to them, or we'll start trying sooner! :rotfl: I need to book an appt with doc to discuss options. Ooohh, on phone now, check me out being proactive! lol

euronorris

smash7 wrote: »

euro - fabby advice hun. Re: condoms, etc- have you tried suggesting to OH the pullout method? :cool: OBVIOUSLY THIS IS NOT A FORM OF CONTRACEPTION (in big letters just in case we have an uneducated lurker :eek:) We did that for 6 months before actively TTC and our take on it was - IF we did get pg (obviously we did not) then, that would be our fate and we would deal with it . Just a thought - that's all. If you defo can't get pg til later this year then, I don't suggest this method but it was a happy medium for us, iyswim.

I am thinking that this may be what we end up doing. We did practice this for a few months about 6 months after I arrived here as I ran out of the pill and hadn't got myself a doctor yet, and was all quite nervous about it etc cos of the language difficulty (which was silly as most Dutch people speak brilliant English). But, I do remember having a late period one month and I ended up in tears as I was drowning in debt at that point and had just arrived in a new country, didn't have my usual friends and family around to talk about it with etc. I wasn't pg in the end, but OH did show me just how lovely he was by wiping my tears away and telling me it will all be OK and what will be will be, and we'll get through it together, and maybe it was simply our time etc etc. God, I felt so much better then. lol

euronorris

OK, I'm caught up now.

Must be a bit hormonal as I cried over the stupidest thing last night. To the point where I then laughed at myself for crying because it was so silly, but the tears kept rolling too! OH was just looking at me bewildered, and then hugged me, bless him. I'm not saying anymore than that as it is embarrassing! lol

Ladies, when you're temping, I assume this is with a BBT right? You're not just taking your temp in the usual way, are you? Sorry, I see the charts on FF and it's very interesting but I'm not sure if I will need to get a BBT or not.

QQuaver

euronorris wrote: »

Ladies, when you're temping, I assume this is with a BBT right? You're not just taking your temp in the usual way, are you? Sorry, I see the charts on FF and it's very interesting but I'm not sure if I will need to get a BBT or not.

BBT thermometer has 2 decimal points like 36.34c. You can temp orally, vaginally or in the armpit. Most do it orally (as do I), but some sleep with their mouth open, and have dry mouth, so do it vaginally:o

euronorris

Thank you QQ, you are the fountain of all knowledge, I have decided. (and I think that's fab!)

I assume that a standard thermometer is OK, or does it need to be more specific so that is why 2 decimal points is required?

QQuaver

euronorris wrote: »

I assume that a standard thermometer is OK, or does it need to be more specific so that is why 2 decimal points is required?

Some do it with standard thermometer, but it's better with BBT thermometer as changes can be subtle. Up to you:) Good luck:j

RebekahR

smash7 wrote: »

Rebekah - tell your OH you simply cannot produce babies on demand and that he should just get on with it and be happy with all of the BDing:rotfl::rotfl:

I should be glad i'm aloud a baby. He wasn't keen on it in the first place! So I gave him some input to make him feel a bit more part of it and he always said he wanted a spring baby lol. Ah well we'll try I'll harass him again in June LOL.

RebekahR

phunkles wrote: »

nooooo theres been no actual asking of any important question
hmmm me and oh may be a little bit strange

We were the same! Looking at wedding venues and fairs before he proposed! I felt like a fraud and on the other hand felt like I was pushing him into something he didnt want. He knew the score from day 1 marriage and babies. And I gave him so many attempts to escape but he wouldn't. So after 7 years drastic action had to be taken!I had planned the guest list ... the venue ... colour scheme lol :rotfl:
Eventually on the evening I had given him another roasting he proposed in the middle of sex. I was :eek:. Wondered if he meant it or if it was coz I had been grilling him. Either way who cared ... we did it in the end lol.