Trying for a Baby Part Six

Alwaysthebusybee

Hi All,

I have to say I think the thread has got rather heated in the last day or so ... I do resent the BFP not being me but I hope it is my turn soon and do not resent people having some good news. I understand it is hard for everyone in their own way!

I joined the thread looking for support which I have received but I don't want / need the additional stress of wondering if I have upset anyone when I just wanted to be part of a group who are going through a similar situation.

I hope everyone gets their BFP sooner rather than later.

Alwaysthebusybee x

emsbet

Greener_Grass wrote: »

Have to say, After a year of being part of this thread i am pretty disgusted with many of todays posts and the level of unsensitivity on the thread.

I personally do not believe that everybody apart from me and phunkles is envious of others when they have been here 5 mins and got thier BFP's, Maybe we are the only ones honest enough to say so rather than being fake nice!

I did not say I think anyone doesn't deserve thier BFP, i said it is very hard to see and not feel envious. I have been on this thread such a long time and at the start was happy for everyone, Once you've been here for ages and ages it starts to wear thin and you can't help but think exactly why do others find it so easy when i can't do it when trying as hard as i can.



I personally think this is a very distasteful comment



I think you will find I pm'd you when you were going through a rough time leanding a shoulder to lean on and you didn't reply. That felt nice, Thanks.



What a lovely thing to say, I feel SO welcome now, I love how newbies are welcome and people who aren't ttcing for quite some time are welcome but those of us who have been here over a year are not! Lovely! While we're at it, Why don't we change the name of the thread to - not trying for a baby/trying for a baby/ pregnant!



I think it is unfair to judge me because I have a child already. If you think it makes it easier for one second month after month of no BFP you are very wrong. I am not even going to bother explaining to you how upset i am and have been each and every month that passes that I am not pregnant.

I also am not going to feel guilty that other people on this thread are older than me, some of those chose to wait till now to TTC! For me personally having children has always came before work/life which is why I am so devestated every month that goes on and it doesn't happen. Everyone has different priorities in life, having a family is first on mine and has been as long as i can remember.

I find it horrible so many people have begged euro to stay on the thread but noone has mentioned phunkles. She has been very upset today. She has been a part of this thread longer than 99% of the people on here and is also actively trying for a baby. I mistakenly thought thats what this thread was for.

I am officially bowing out of this thread. I have nothing to contribute any more, I think i will go talk about ttcing in all the other threads on this forum as apparently you can post anything in any thread!

I have had a few friends on this thread who i have provided support too and the ones that have had thier BFP's have not spoke to me since! Special thanks to them, you know who you are.

GG I'm sorry if you have been upset by any comments today and yesterday. As I have explained already mine were never meant to hurt anyone and I think I have apologised enough especially when I feel I haven't done anything wrong. All I did was express an emotion and I don't think that it is wrong.

Everyone is entitled to be affected emotionally by the journey of TTC and I while I feel greatly for you and Phunkles and the countless other women who have been TTC for a long time I do not think it is fair to for you to try and delvalue the feelings of others just because they haven't been trying as long.

While we are on the subject to Phunkles I wrote a post on here last night appologising if I upset her. To say no one cares is not true! I was greatly affected by her comments last night as I felt like it was in part a personal attack on me which I found upsetting as I have found everyone up until now very supportive (please don't jump on be for this part I'm not saying it was but that's how I was made to feel)

I was upset that Euro wanted to leave as I felt it terrible that she was being made to feel like she wasn't welcome and I felt it unfair that she was been attacked for no apparent reason.

Not everyone who puts off TTC until later life has done so because children are not important/less important than work/ life etc. I put off having children until I was 100% certain I had found mr right as I wanted to bring them into a loving, stable environment!

I don't think Rebekah was trying to be rude she was just mearly stating that there was a specific thread for those TTC for a long time and that this thread is bound to get lots of people new to TTC and inturn a few people who get lucky early.

I don't think it's fair to tell anyone that they can or can not post on here are this an open forum and as long as people aren't being abusive then they should be welcome. Some people like to get some background information and help before embarking on something as life changing as TTC and they shouldn't be made to feel bad for doing so.

Up until yesterday I have found this thread to be nothing but helpful and supportive but that has changed very quickly and it's not nice

Oh well hopefully the nice atmosphere will return soon.

xx

mishkanorman

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

*Sticks head in through the door*

I wasn't going to post this, but what the hell...

A while ago I posted suggesting a new thread for those who are waiting to try to conceive. Anyone think this has any merit? I (personally) feel uncomfortable posting here. I am not trying at the moment. The current plan is to have the implant out in December, then see how my cycle settles down so we can start TTC properly. By the time we actually start TTC I will have been waiting for 4 years.



Hope you all get the BFPs that you deserve.

SBDTA

i havent been active on this thread for a while, but do like to keep reading as im a big softie when it comes to reading the "yay, im pregnant" posts !

There has ALWAYS been arguments of dont boast you are pregnant/dont post if you arent actually trying/and various point scoring jibes of been trying longer/already have children/pregnant straight off etc etc.

I doubt splitting the thread into variables will make any difference to the squabbles, its such an emotional subject there will always be *someone* who feels agrieved.

Its a shame to see things are still like this, it is a great source of support for many

euronorris

You know ladies, you weren't the only ones who are very upset today. Phunkles, I have found your posts in particular, to be quite personal, viscious and childish.

I appreciate that you are feeling upset, but that doesn't give you free reign to be nasty to others, nor in such a public way. If you are upset by my words or actions, I would appreciate a PM instead.

I am definitely bowing out of this thread now, it has been made very clear just how unwelcome I am. But, I truly hope that you get your BFP's asap.

Good luck on your journies ladies.

clearing_out_my_pockets

euronorris wrote: »

I am definitely bowing out of this thread now, it has been made very clear just how unwelcome I am. But, I truly hope that you get your BFP's asap.

Good luck on your journies ladies.

Euro, I share your sentiment. I've 'known' you for quite a while now and I think our timescales are similar. Should we start our own thread, even if it is in the Arms?

Message me on Facebook if you like (and if you remember who I am on facebook)

emsbet

euronorris wrote: »

You know ladies, you weren't the only ones who are very upset today. Phunkles, I have found your posts in particular, to be quite personal, viscious and childish.

I appreciate that you are feeling upset, but that doesn't give you free reign to be nasty to others, nor in such a public way. If you are upset by my words or actions, I would appreciate a PM instead.

I am definitely bowing out of this thread now, it has been made very clear just how unwelcome I am. But, I truly hope that you get your BFP's asap.

Good luck on your journies ladies.

I'm so sorry you've been made this way and I'm cross that someone as lovely as you has been driven from the thread. Please keep in touch.

Nobody has a monopoly on sadness. Just because a person hasnt been trying to TTC long (or can't at the moment) doesn't mean they don't have other things going on in their life that makes them sad and therefore makes the stress of TTC harder than it already is

xx

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I sat here are wrote a HUGE reply out but you know what - whats the point?

I generally feel for people who have been trying for ages - i would love nothing more than for everyone to have BFP this month but you know what - there are others in this world a damn sight worse off that you and for you to make people feel guilty for having BFP when they havent been TTC for ages is NOT on.

phunkles

euronorris wrote: »

You know ladies, you weren't the only ones who are very upset today. Phunkles, I have found your posts in particular, to be quite personal, viscious and childish.

I appreciate that you are feeling upset, but that doesn't give you free reign to be nasty to others, nor in such a public way. If you are upset by my words or actions, I would appreciate a PM instead.

I am definitely bowing out of this thread now, it has been made very clear just how unwelcome I am. But, I truly hope that you get your BFP's asap.

Good luck on your journies ladies.

I do believe I have not used names at any point in my postings about people being on the ttc thread when they arent trying to concieve at any time in the near future, if you have decided that my postings where about you that is your decision - my points which I think you are saying are childish arent at all - a non parent would be frowned upon and called a troll or worse if they where to actively join and post regularly on a parenting thread I dont see how its any different.

But thank you for that lovely character reference you have given me

I was actually going to delete my original post from last night as I didnt want to rock the boat of the ttc thread but Im leaving it now. Those are my feelings about this thread Im entitled to them.

And Ill say it again Ive never not wished anyone to not get a bfp and have genuinely wished for people to get their bfps when they have been testing.

SusanC_2

emsbet wrote: »

Everyone is entitled to be affected emotionally by the journey of TTC and I while I feel greatly for you and Phunkles and the countless other women who have been TTC for a long time I do not think it is fair to for you to try and delvalue the feelings of others just because they haven't been trying as long.

I don't think she was trying to devalue anyone's feelings - it was more a request for greater sensitivity to others when posting. Whilst I wouldn't say I've had the best nine months, I am very aware that having conceived three times in that time and previously had a successful pregnancy I am better off than those who do not have the comfort of knowing they can conceive or carry to term and I try to be sensitive to those people who do not have the advantages that I have. It's not about invalidating people's feelings as they are all valid - it's just about showing a bit of sensitivity and consideration to others.

emsbet

SusanC wrote: »

I don't think she was trying to devalue anyone's feelings - it was more a request for greater sensitivity to others when posting. Whilst I wouldn't say I've had the best nine months, I am very aware that having conceived three times in that time and previously had a successful pregnancy I am better off than those who do not have the comfort of knowing they can conceive or carry to term and I try to be sensitive to those people who do not have the advantages that I have. It's not about invalidating people's feelings as they are all valid - it's just about showing a bit of sensitivity and consideration to others.

I totally agree but sensitivity and consideration work both ways.
I've not set out to hurt or upset anyone but feel that I and others have been but in a box, labeled and then attacked. Just because names have not always been used doesn't mean that people can't be upset by those comments.

xx