Lending money to husband

justjohn

Imp wrote: »

On a slightly more practical note, don't forget to tell the inland revenue about this agreement, as they will probably be interested in taxing the income from the interest on the loan.

Good point never thought of that.

Thumper7

I actually can't remember my wedding vows. to tell the truth i can't actually remember the wedding at all.

thrifty_student

There seems to be an awful number of people on here who seem to believe that relationships are based on smiles, rainbows, and butterflies, and that things can't possibly go wrong, and that if they do go wrong, they'll all just resolve themselves amicably.

All credit to the OP for sticking to the age old mantra "hope for the best, bu prepare for the worst".

Thumper7

Can I just ask, a part from getting your husband to sign the agreement that he owes such and such amount. How are you gonna make sure that he actually does pay you back.

Are you going to have a spreadsheet with amount outstanding with payments made todate. I know the question sounds facetious but I am generally puzzled how you are going to actually work out the practicalities.

Imp

thrifty_student wrote: »

There seems to be an awful number of people on here who seem to believe that relationships are based on smiles, rainbows, and butterflies, and that things can't possibly go wrong, and that if they do go wrong, they'll all just resolve themselves amicably.

Not quite how I see it.

People, myself included, are lazy. If something is difficult to do, then people are less likely to do it.

I want my marriage to last until one of us dies. I want it to be as difficult as possible to split up, so everything is interwoven between us, with full visibility to both of us. There is no easy escape route, no pots of cash set aside so I can set up easily else where.

Marriage is difficult. If you make it easy to break up, you almost certainly will.

Mrs_justjohn

I have no problem with the OP doing what she is doing or with her H for agreeing with it. If it works for them then that is great and I wish them both well. I just couldn't work like that within a marriage.

Just a thought....it may help me to get my head around it....

OP's OH brought a debt into the relationship which OP has stated quite clearly is HIS debt (all be it via his ExWife) and SHE is lending him HER money to pay off the debt. What if he didn't bring a debt into the marriage - what if he brought a hefty settlement from his Ex Wife lets say £50K in the bank. That presumably would be HIS money. So what if he wanted to use that £50K as a deposit on a new family home to which she would have joint title - Would she then owe him £25K?

justjohn

thrifty_student wrote: »

but prepare for the worst".

What lack of trust/deception? If its a possible or a chance(and you are considering it) then you are unsure of the relationship.

If you are not confident in the relationship and you consider it a risk then yes prepare for the worst.

But you do not go into a relationship edging your bets. And say well it may happen.

It not all flowers and roses. But its defo not all lack of trust and edge your bets at every moment incase things take a turn for the worse.

Mrs_justjohn

Imp wrote: »

Not quite how I see it.

People, myself included, are lazy. If something is difficult to do, then people are less likely to do it.

I want my marriage to last until one of us dies. I want it to be as difficult as possible to split up, so everything is interwoven between us, with full visibility to both of us. There is no easy escape route, no pots of cash set aside so I can set up easily else where.

Marriage is difficult. If you make it easy to break up, you almost certainly will.

Excellent point.....never thought about it in those terms but that could well be the 'unthought of' logic behind my thoughts...

Does that even make sense?....LOL:rotfl:

What I mean is subconsiously that may be why all aspects (including finances) are so heavily 'co-joined' in my relationship.

Errata

justjohn wrote: »

What lack of trust/deception? If its a possible or a chance(and you are considering it) then you are unsure of the relationship.

If you are not confident in the relationship and you consider it a risk then yes prepare for the worst.

But you do not go into a relationship edging your bets. And say well it may happen.

It not all flowers and roses. But its defo not all lack of trust and edge your bets at every moment incase things take a turn for the worse.

I guess the answer to that is very, very few people expect their house to burn to the ground but everyone insures against the risk.

justjohn

Errata wrote: »

I guess the answer to that is very, very few people expect their house to burn to the ground but everyone insures against the risk.

yes they do...insurance covers most eventualities. But i would not buy a house i thought may go on fire. And it would not be covered for insurance if thought to be a fire hazard.

And in the context of a relationship i would not go into it if i was planning/risk on a divorce.