Lending money to husband

Errata

justjohn wrote: »

OP and others could i ask a question.

If the partner is trusted and you believe in them.

Is the man/womens word or promise not just as good as any legal document?
Surely if his word/promise is not as good as a legal document eg. you think he/she we would renage on his word/promise for whatever reason then he/she is not to be trusted?

Come on, vast numbers of people who are trusted and believed in . promise all manner of things on their wedding day and also sign a legal document. For many of them a few years down the line those promises, beliefs and the legal document carry no value.
I suppose in the OP's case all for one and one for all is ok if it's a few hundreds or thousands. If it's tens of thousands then people have to be wise and sensible.

justjohn

Errata wrote: »

Come on, vast numbers of people who are trusted and believed in . promise all manner of things on their wedding day and also sign a legal document. For many of them a few years down the line those promises, beliefs and the legal document carry no value.
.

So a promise/vow/word of honour is worthless?

There are amicable divorce's that are done with care and thoughtfullness. It does happen. And promises/ideals/beliefs are upheld even in divorce.

Surely walking out of a relationship were a promise had no value is different from walking INTO a relationship were promises have no value?

Fang_3

Definitely have an agreement drawn up by a solicitor and have it signed and witnessed. There are several posters who will tell you not to bother, but frankly, don't take the chance.

Fang_3

justjohn wrote: »

Sad really, was not always the case....Dont you just love progress.

Neither was marriage. It's a very modern invention.

Errata

justjohn wrote: »

So a promise/vow/word of honour is worthless?

Clearly not when it's made, but the passage of time can make it worthless.

There are amicable divorce's that are done with care and thoughtfullness. It does happen. And promises/ideals/beliefs are upheld even in divorce.
Of course this is correct, and so is the opposite.

Surely walking out of a relationship were a promise had no value is different from walking INTO a relationship were promises have no value?

Generally, promises when made are sincere, that's why people make them.

robpw2

i would just like to point out that under the law of contract it would be very unlikely for you to be able to pursue this in court
the thing is that there was a case where a mother tried to sue her daughter and the court ruled that it was not like a normal contract and there was no intention to create a legally bindng contracts and that contracts between family members were more a informal agreement

if you wish to create a legally binding contract then you need to seek legal advice

robpw2

oh another thing what happens if he refuses to sign any contract .. because he has no incentive to do so

RadoJo

I'm astonished at the negativity towards the OP here and the judgements made about her relationship. Had someone posted on here that they had lent their partner a lot of money to pay off debts and the relationship had broken down, I bet there would be people saying how she should have formalised things from the beginning.

As far as I'm concerned my marriage vows were pretty much the basis for a legally binding contract - the love goes a long way in the relationship but not in law. Also, if you look at these same boards, plenty of people on here have recommended to others that they marry for the legal security that gives them, so to assume that a relationship which has a legal basis by virtue of marriage cannot work if a clause is added to that contract is a little simplistic, especially in a second marriage where the balance of assets is uneven and children need to be considered.

OP - I would have thought that the formality of the agreement would depend on the amounts you are talking about, i.e the higher the sum, the more likely I would recommend a solicitor, or even have a chat with the CAB as someone else suggested. Good luck - I'm sure you probably won't give it a second thought once it's all sorted...

justjohn

Errata wrote: »

Generally, promises when made are sincere, that's why people make them.

So what are you saying .. Someone who is sincere with a promise may not be at a later date?

Surely that thought/view alone is a lack of trust?

Head_Girl

Ok, lets put the record straight. This is tens of thousands of pounds, not a small amount I would hope you would agree.

I had a joint account with my ex husband all of our married life and everything we both earnt was put into it. I will not go into the details of why our marriage didn't last, but we came to an amicable agreement with regards to my divorce settlement, which included money, properties and investments.

I have never been in debt (except for a mortgage) and would never want to be. I would not wish that on any member of my family and would do the same for them, if necessary.

When I married my second husband I suggested getting a joint account, but he was reticent to do so because of his financial situation and he wanted to sort that out first. It is my intention that when this situation is sorted, that is what we will do. He was paying back the money to the cc companies that he and his ex wife owed. This was never in question. Therefore, why should he not do the same to me but at a significantly lower cost and saving himself a lot of worry into the bargain? Are some of you suggesting that I write it off or chalk it up to experience? I can't believe that. As previously mentioned, I feel that my second husband is embarrassed about the differences in our financial situations and sees paying me back as "setting the record straight" and not feeling a "kept man."

The money will be for our future together, there is no dispute there and I intend for it to be forever.