Opinions please on family child care issue

galvanizersbaby

picnmix wrote: »

I think you are spot on, I know at least 10 working parents in my childs class who use family as childcare to be able to work. I know for one that if my little ones need me to help when they are adults then I would do anything I could, I come from a family whereby most of us were looked after by grandparents, or aunts etc when we were small, and our house was always full of other family siblings when my parents were returning the favour. It was just the way we are,

I was meaning the OP's specific situ as opposed to family caring for children in general.

I would like to think I could help my own children in the future if I were in a position to

peachyprice

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

they do go out drinking one night per week and my mother always seems to be buying new clothes.

So would I if I had a spare £150 a month

mishkanorman

ailuro2 wrote: »

I think the poster means you're not meant to pay someone for unregistered childcare, if someone is making money from childminding they are meant to be registered, and of course declaring it to anyone concerned - tax, benefits agencies if it brings them over any thresholds.;)

Yes thats exactly what I meant thankyou !

I remember the case of 2 policewomen (?) who were taken to court because they were providing childcare for each other, there were all sorts of daft rules they had broken because if you provide free childcare there are very few regulations etc however if you pay or receive recompense in return (ie childcare for your own child) then the people providing it must be registered, ensure the property meets the standards set. Any person coming into contact with the children on a 1:1 basis MUST be CRB checked (so even if the neighbour pops round every afternoon for tea!) etc etc

Thats before you even consider the fact OP's mother should be registered as self employed and be declaring her £150 cash in hand she is getting tax free.

Its a whole ton of paperwork that i would find a way to work into conversation, not to be mean but to show you are BOTH benefitting from the current arrangement and with a little compromise on both sides hopefully you will continue to do so !

galvanizersbaby

peachyprice wrote: »

So would I if I had a spare £150 a month

So I'm guessing what you are you suggesting is that they are profiting unnecessarily from the childcare arrangement for their 3 grandchildren while Op is on maternity leave?

To be honest regardless of OP's parents financial situation I still think they are doing a massive favour by looking after the 3 potentially 4 children on a regular basis.

I think it is great when these arrangements work well for all concerned but it does rather seem that in Op's situation it worked well while it lasted and when returning to work after baby number 4 she should have a rethink of her childcare arrangements.

galvanizersbaby

mishkanorman wrote: »

Yes thats exactly what I meant thankyou !

I remember the case of 2 policewomen (?) who were taken to court because they were providing childcare for each other, there were all sorts of daft rules they had broken because if you provide free childcare there are very few regulations etc however if you pay or receive recompense in return (ie childcare for your own child) then the people providing it must be registered, ensure the property meets the standards set. Any person coming into contact with the children on a 1:1 basis MUST be CRB checked (so even if the neighbour pops round every afternoon for tea!) etc etc

Thats before you even consider the fact OP's mother should be registered as self employed and be declaring her £150 cash in hand she is getting tax free.

Its a whole ton of paperwork that i would find a way to work into conversation, not to be mean but to show you are BOTH benefitting from the current arrangement and with a little compromise on both sides hopefully you will continue to do so !

I thought of this - however I recall from an earlier thread that grandparents were not subject to this but perhaps I'm wrong?

roses

Have you actually sat down and TOLD them you are struggling with money? If not then they may be a little more understanding if you are 100% honest with them.

lauren_1

Ok basically you have a dirt cheap childminder, you are lucky you are not using a proper childminder! That would cost you 4 times as much and you would still have to pay during the holidays (a retainer fee).

Did your mother give up her job to look after your children?

However you are paying her £150 during maternity leave and she IS NOT having the children? I would tell her to go fish or come to some agreement.

mishkanorman

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I thought of this - however I recall from an earlier thread that grandparents were not subject to this but perhaps I'm wrong?

or perhaps im wrong im getting old now fact and fiction get blurred sometimes !

I *think* because there is a fee involved it changes everything. They clearly arent being given the £150 for expenses and couldnt even argue that fact so they are being PAID to look after the children so i think the usual guidlines apply,

my trusted friend google has let me down though so cant be sure !

gratefulforhelp_2

Grandparents are not subject to this.

lauhen

Just a few questions and comments. Do your childrens school not do afterschool club, where the kids stay behind until 6ish, obviously for a fee, if they do would this be worth considering. Also have you done a good check in your area for childminders and there costs, there are loads near me. Have a sit down, ring round and get various prices etc, see what alternatives there are. One other thought is could you not change your working hours to the weekend, when oh could have kids and you could have them in week, this is what I do.

In the meantime, I don't think you should be paying your mum when she doesn't have the kids. I know that when we move nearer to family, hopefully soon, I wouldn't dream of letting my parents have my kids as they don't need the stress, although my sister doesn't see that as issue, that's her choice and there's if they want to have her kids. The point I'm trying to make is, I would however, offer to pay for things, such as a grocery shop now and then, etc etc, as I know that they don't have much money and they are getting on, and I want to help, so maybe you could make a token gesture during the holidays if it is the money that is the issue for your mum.

Quite a jumbled post of mine, sorry.