Opinions please on family child care issue

VK-2008

it would appear they are being unfair in my opinion

i think that they need to realise you do not charge to watch the kids

when you are off and they offer to take them for a day or a few hours they should incur the expense

if you ask them to watch kids for work then yes pay

i would be very blatant about it (i know easier said than done)

i do not have kids yet hoping to soon though - i am lucky that my parents have offered to watch kids but i think they are secretly desperate for grankids
i will look to pay them something though i doubt they would tke it.

thought and wishes to you

i would consider a childminder or evern not working unless you are still making a decent profit out it, does the money outweigh the time you are unable to spend with kids and also the family stress

Ex-Spendaholic

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I find the whole set up a bit bizarre tbh - some would say they are doing you a huge favour as you are paying them next to nothing (in comparision with the cost of other childcare) to care for their 3 grandchildren and others would say they are the grandparents so shouldn't expect to earn/profit from caring for their grandchildren.

Its not that bizarre surely? Lots of families use grandparents for childcare.

picnmix

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

From what you are posting it would seem that you see the situation with you in the position of an employer of your parents sort of?!

As others have mentioned if you were using a registered childminder/child care facility you would still be paying them regardless (and possibly to keep places open while on maternity leave) but obviously it would cost an awful lot more than you are paying now

I find the whole set up a bit bizarre tbh - some would say they are doing you a huge favour as you are paying them next to nothing (in comparision with the cost of other childcare) to care for their 3 grandchildren and others would say they are the grandparents so shouldn't expect to earn/profit from caring for their grandchildren.

I seriously think that you should look at whether you would be able to work using any other form of childcare (inc tax credits etc..) - and if this proves to be non financially viable and you wish to continue working then I would sit down with your parents and try to come up with something you can all agree on - i think that if it were me I would be inclined to offer to pay them more than 150 per month

Very true, personally I would never be able to afford the childcare if my parents weren't being so helpful, it wouldn't be worth my while going to work, as it would all be going on childcare. Whilst I did say in my earlier post that I was a bit miffed about giving my mum money whilst on maternity leave, the support she offers me is priceless, I know that my children are with someone who loves them as much as myself and my OH, therfore amongst other reasons this is why I chose to continue with the payment. I try to support them so it is a two way thing, to help out if I spy a bargain I share with them and buy them little treats and a meal out for them now and again as my mum wont take any extra pennies from me.

JodyBPM

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

Yes I will be returning when the 4th child is 1 year old. By that stage the 3rd child will be at pre-school from 9am to 1.30 pm, the middle child in school until 3pm and the eldest in until 3.30 pm. My options are:

1. Return on the 3 days per week which I already do and either a) get a childminder/grandparents for 3 full days for the baby and after school for the others.

2. Return to work 5 days per week working 8.30 am - 1.00 pm. In this instance OH would drop the kids to school. I would still require grandparents/childminder/nursery for the baby but would be there for the rest after school.

Personally, I'd be inclined to go for option 2, and look for a childminder to mind the baby 5 mornings a week, but be prepared for your costs to increase! But that way you would be justified in saying that the current arrangement is no longer required, and therefore you wouldn't need to pay them throughout your mat leave.

I think you need to sit down with the grandparents and decide whether the £150 payment is to cover ALL your childcare, regardless of what is needed (in which case you need to pay them even when they are not required) or whether its for a set amount of hours (in which case you would need to pay extra when they do extra, but less when they do less). Or perhaps agree an amount per child per hour, and work on that basis.

To be honest, I'd say they are doing you a huge favour by providing the amount of childcare that they do for £150 a month!

galvanizersbaby

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

Its not that bizarre surely? Lots of families use grandparents for childcare.

I don't mean bizarre in itself as I'm sure grandparents are often used for childcare - I was more meaning in that they get a set amount of money (wages) if you like and you have this issue with whether you should pay them when your on maternity leave as though they were a registered childcare provider of sorts.

I can't find it easy to relate to myself - probably because I have always used a nursery/childcare club for my 2 children but if my mum were in a position to care for them I can't really imagine the scenario you have described so perhaps I'm not best placed to give advice!

ailuro2

Have you thought about becoming a CM yourself?

Would it pay enough to cover your current wages, or at least your living costs - as going to work, having 2nd car for work etc. all adds to the cost of working.

Have you checked https://www.entitledto.co.uk and put in some figures to see what you'd get in way of government assistance. Does your job allow you to take sabbaticals?

Savvy_Sue

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

Yes I will be returning when the 4th child is 1 year old. By that stage the 3rd child will be at pre-school from 9am to 1.30 pm, the middle child in school until 3pm and the eldest in until 3.30 pm. My options are:

1. Return on the 3 days per week which I already do and either a) get a childminder/grandparents for 3 full days for the baby and after school for the others.

2. Return to work 5 days per week working 8.30 am - 1.00 pm. In this instance OH would drop the kids to school. I would still require grandparents/childminder/nursery for the baby but would be there for the rest after school.

Given the aggro, I'd definitely be looking at the alternatives. However, you don't seem to have thought about school holidays?

picnmix

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

Its not that bizarre surely? Lots of families use grandparents for childcare.

I think you are spot on, I know at least 10 working parents in my childs class who use family as childcare to be able to work. I know for one that if my little ones need me to help when they are adults then I would do anything I could, I come from a family whereby most of us were looked after by grandparents, or aunts etc when we were small, and our house was always full of other family siblings when my parents were returning the favour. It was just the way we are,

Ex-Spendaholic

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Given the aggro, I'd definitely be looking at the alternatives. However, you don't seem to have thought about school holidays?

There really is only 3-4 weeks in Summer that the other kids would require looking after and if I decided to go down the childminder route I think I'd just take unpaid leave to cover that rather than try to arrange childcare for 4 on a short term basis. I'm off all the other school holidays - Christmas, Halloween, Easter plus the bank and public holidays.

Loopy_Girl

If you refused to pay them when on matty leave, what would the outcome be?

Would they stop talking to you or would they get over it and just be miffed at you?