Family vs The Law: eep, what should I do?

peachyprice

Badger_Lady wrote: »

The landline number (which she has already given them) is actually my direct dial at the office, so easy to explain to a debt collection agency that they can't use it to reach my sister. However, what if they then tried to take action at my place of employment? That does not look good...

That makes it even worse, that could have serious repercussions at work if the debt collectors, sneaky beggars that they are, tie up that phone number to your work address, doesn't bear thinking about really.

peachyprice

Badger_Lady wrote: »

So what do I do about sis stuck in a foreign country with no money?

You send her enough for a ticket home and a place on your sofa.

ailuro2

So what happened to make her leave the nightclub and lose her self worth?

It's all a bit strange, isn't it? Do you think drugs are involved in any way - not casting aspersions just saying these kinds of places do attract the dodgier side of life and it would be easy to fall in with the wrong type of people.

tbh by going along with her plan you are enabling her in her current lifestyle whether there are any ongoing issues or not.

Tell her you want your old sister back, not the one who is willing to use subterfuge to get a loan that she has no means of paying back, risking giving her reliable sister a criminal record in the process.


Blood is thicker than water, but there comes a point where you have to draw a line in the sane and say enough is enough - where is that line going to be for you?
p.s. giving your work landline number -unless you work from home that's probably going to leave you open to problems when the debt agencies start calling work number looking for your sister -bringing the company into disrepute and getting a yourself a reputation for getting visits from debt collectors.

If you care for her that much buy her a one way ticket back to the UK.

paddy's_mum

The whole thing stinks but you go along with it if you think it such a wise thing to do. Why aren't the other family members being approached in this way?

I wonder if you'd feel quite so laid back about it all if it was your money (or anything else you value) that was being plotted about. Hope it all works out.

Badger_Lady

She hasn't technically left the nightclub - she's self-employed there. I believe she has to pay the house something like £80 a night and can then keep everything she earns over and above (usually around £300, much more on payday Friday). But she just can't be bothered to go down there so regularly. It's one of those things that was a really exciting change to start with but quickly faded into 'just another job'.

I can't see any way of disabling her newfound lifestyle. It's dirt cheap - she'll find a way to keep scounging around no matter what. She knows I've got a spare bedroom here; the parents would love for her to stay with them in a hot sunny country and friendly village; but I know she'd refuse because she's happy as long as she's surrounded by "adoring fans" (that's how she sees her friends).

If I don't give her money, she finds it herself, no big deal. I'd just rather be there spying on her and making sure she's OK than not. And my parents appreciate me doing that too - they already worry themselves sick but are too far away to do anything.

I don't want her to go back to the conservative hell she was in... that's not my idea of a good life either. I just want her to have some sort of legitimacy, so that we can't lose her

peachyprice

I can unerstand that you want her to live her life, but also to do it safely. But if she goes about it like this it's never going to end well, either for you or her.

But what will happen when this money runds out? She'll be back to square one, back to you getting her to apply for another loan. She won't ever take responsibility for her actions while you're at the end of the phone willing to commit fraud on her behalf.

Why can't she get a bar job abroad?

notakid

Sometimes, you just have to let go....you love your sister but tbh it sounds like the hedonistic lifestyle she has chosen has eaten her up.

I think her casual drug use has now overtaken her, that's why she lives as she does and why she kips on sofa's. She needs every penny for something else.....



Your sister is not your sister at present, she sounds like an addict, and they will rip you off even if you are the most loved sister in the world.

There is nothing you can do without putting yourself seriously at risk, just be there when the bottom falls out of her world. That's what families are for, support when really needed, a place to stay, not to enable.

Edit, re read not abroad! Duh!

Badger_Lady

She'd just do it herself. Hell she probably already has before now... she's only going to be abroad for another four days - a friend of hers is travelling around and sent her a plane ticket to come visit. I'm pretty sure she also has the return ticket, but wants to repay the friend and buy some bits and pieces (inc food) while she's out there. She wants to repay me, too, though I waved goodbye to every penny before sending it to her, so I'm not fussed about getting it back.

thorsoak

Mojisola wrote: »

Yes, it is wrong.

Why are you supporting her in this lifestyle? If she was drinking herself to death, would you keep buying alcohol for her?

No, I wouldn't think she is drinking herself to death ....but I wouldn't mind betting that she is doing something equally harmful to herself - and by doing what she asks, you will be complicit in her attempt at fraud ...and thereby you are risking a criminal record too

gratefulforhelp_2

Don't do it.