Family vs The Law: eep, what should I do?

Badger_Lady

Okay, I'm having a very genuine dilemma here, and would really appreciate some perspective!

My family is somewhat sprawled: my parents and a lot of other relatives are abroad, I have a pair of grandparents 150 miles away and a set of cousins 400 miles away... and then there's my sister, my only sibling, who's just slightly younger than me and lives just 100 miles away. She is, in every respect, my closest family member.

She went through a bit of a life crisis this year, when she suddenly realised that she was living a middle-class hell of mortgage, office job and engagement to a not-very-nice man. So she dumped the fiance, quit the job and moved into a mate's spare room. All good so far.

She got a well-paid job in a nightclub (I won't go into detail but suffice to say she enjoyed it), and continued to pay her half of the mortgage until the house was sold. She started to live a quite luxurious lifestyle with parties, manicures and professional hair styling on a weekly basis. I was very pleased for her.

Then she stopped bothering with work, stopped looking after her appearance, fell out with her mate and is now a smelly dreadlocked skank kipping on people's sofas and blagging from mates (I don't know how much, but I've sent her bits of money when she's called). At this point I started to think she may have gone too far...

Now she's avoiding paying her half of the deficit that the housesale caused... her ex is suing her for around £4k but she has no 'fixed abode', no telephone and has changed her name by deed poll, so he may not be able to trace her. Starting to sound dodgy (even I'm not allowed to know the address she's sleeping at).

And today, the pinnacle. She messaged me from abroad (where she's having a week-long visit with friends), asking me to answer my landline phone pretending to be her. Whilst this in itself is fine with permission, the list of details she sent "in case they ask" include her old mortgaged house as 'current address', her old office employer as 'current occupation' and her old salary as 'income'. None of these things are true any more.

After a brief phonecall, she gave me scant detail, but it seems clear to me that she's applied for a loan that she never intends to repay. The company in question speaks to its customers via two different phone numbers as verification, without performing a credit check, and then presumably charges a high APR. Of course, if she then closes the bank account, they're left with a false name, false address, false employment details and, um, my phone number. I should stress that she hasn't told me this is what she's doing, I've made the deduction myself.

I just don't know what to do. I love her and would do anything for her, but I'm just compulsively honest and this doesn't sit right. Could I not be putting myself in legal dirty waters? She claims that she'll be out of money tomorrow and needs it in order to eat. I'd happily send her some of my money (not that I've got any more - it would be my overdraft)... but I can just hear her now: "why the hell did you send me more money that I have to owe you, when I could have just got some for free and paid you back?"

She will be absolutely livid if I don't do this. Is it really that wrong?

Mojisola

Yes, it is wrong.

Why are you supporting her in this lifestyle? If she was drinking herself to death, would you keep buying alcohol for her?

Badger_Lady

Mojisola wrote: »

If she was drinking herself to death, would you keep buying alcohol for her?

Umm... but she's not. She's just bumming around..? Her lifestyle, her choice. As long as it doesn't put me in prison :eek:

beks

from an outsiders view, I wouldnt do it.
It sounds too risky to me and if numbers can be traced, it could lead back to you (although no idea if that can happen).
The easy way out would be either to not answer your phone or tell them that the person who they want is not in. If she wants the money that bad, she will have to wait until she is back in the UK and use a phone box.
If you want the harder way out, but more truthful and could save you a lot of bother, tell your sister that you are not willing to do this for her.
Not easy but I really wouldnt do it if it were me.

smartpicture

Definitely don't do it. They record these telephone calls, and you will be a party to financial fraud. If she wants to lie, cheat and break the law on her own, fine, but if she wants to cause you to lie, cheat and break the law, that's not on - and I would tell her that in the strongest terms.

julie03

i wouldnt do this for my sister, how is she ever going to get out of the situation she is in if you keep helping her.

and the way she suddenly went down hill with appearance , could it be drugs? and if it was you would be supporting this

thistledome

julie03 wrote: »

and the way she suddenly went down hill with appearance , could it be drugs? and if it was you would be supporting this

That was my first thought when I read this:

Then she stopped bothering with work, stopped looking after her appearance, fell out with her mate and is now a smelly dreadlocked skank kipping on people's sofas and blagging from mates (I don't know how much, but I've sent her bits of money when she's called). At this point I started to think she may have gone too far...

OP, you ask if it's really wrong but I think you already know that it is. If you're right about what she's asking you to do, then you are helping her to commit fraud. I think you need to find out more about her lifestyle and why she suddenly went from glamour girl to down and out. It could be important.

julie03

just to add, i had a brother who was taking cocaine for at least 2 yrs and no one in the family knew he was on it.

Fang_3

Don't do it. Good god woman!

Pixiechic

Hi Badger Lady,

Has your sister already given them your number as her contact number?

If she has and indeed if you confirm that this is correct, then yes, they will contact you on your number. It wouldn't be hard for a debt collection agency to find your address from your number.

I don't know if you could be in any legal trouble, fraud maybe? I don't know. I am pretty sure that you will be hounded by debt collection agencies when the bank starts chasing.

I can see how you want to help her and I am sure that doing this would help her, in the very short term. In the long term though, it could cause you and her difficulties.

If you are close, she should understand your reluctance and refusal. If this is what she wants to do then fine but you don't need to be part of it.

peachyprice

I would not do it, the implications are too serious.

What happens when they finally catch up with her, and she says that she didn't apply for the loan, and she has proof that she wasn't in the country at the time? If they record their phone calls all they have is you impersonating her and commiting fraud.

I would also be worried about the possibility of her having a problem with drugs, it's also the first thing that came to mind when you got to the bit about her letting herself go.