No sleep

Cheeselady

Hannah_10 wrote: »

You were right to stick the SOA in another thread as I wouldn't have seen it otherwise.

For most of us the debt-free journey starts at rock bottom, often (read- usually) with tears. Feeling utterly totally shattered and terrified is usual, but information is the cure for fear. If something scares you then learn about it, learn what itcan and can't do to you, how it opperates, what its rules are. As someone said bankruptcy might not have the impact on hubby you first thought. Another enemy it pays to know are the DCA's (debt collection agencies). As you're going to be around a while why not start a diary on the dfw diaries bit and keep track of your progress. I like to keep my progress in my signature too.

I can't think of anyone who hasn't starte4d thier journey out of debt at rock bottom and in shreds, but we're all moving along. Me, well I'm at 11.72%, others are at more, others at less, some are currently static for a bit or on the slide, but we're all walking the same way as you. Having had a really serious look at your SOA on the other thread I can see why it scares you but I can also see massive scope for improvement. You income can be raised, your outgoings can be lowered and you debt problems can be addressed. Take comfort in the fact there is life after debt and most of the things you fear happening aren't ever going to if you know what to say. For example a baliff can't take your car or possessions if you know what you're doing, but before a baliff comes a CCJ- mostly a CCJ can be stopped from happening or at least made to happen on bearable terms. Before that even there's the process of getting a debt to court, we might be able to stop that happening... And so on. At every level of the fear chain for every eventuality that scares you then there are loads and loads of things you can learn that will help you.

The moment you have just reached, "the OMG we're in crisis" moment, it's as horrible and as bad and as scary as it gets. It doesn't get any worse than this, this bit right at the beginning where you're terrified of everything and have no idea what'll happen next is the scariest part. Everything after this is about aquiring more knowledge and putting it into practice. Including knowing yourself. You will come to scoff at the threatening letters because you know thier code of conduct better than they appear to, perhaps even to revel in them (I do so love it when a DCA oversteps thier mark- means I can set the regulatory bodies on them again- happy days!) After a while you get so savvy it hurts the creditors more than it hurts you, and along you go on your debt-free journey.

My mate Lisa went bankrupt. She says it's the best thing she ever did and can't believe she didn't do it sooner. "See that" I remember her saying, pointing to her pride and joy (little Honda 125cc motorcycle) "I wouldn't have ever had the money to insure it before". Lisa's insurance is under £130 a year. She's living again. So will you. Even if it comes to the worst case scenario- the big B.

Thanks so much for taking the time to say all that, it has really helped, though I still get a rush of blood to the head at the B word, well the two b words, bailiff and bankrupty! :eek: We still have quite a bit to check out, to see if we can reduce out outgoings, will make a start on that tomorrow, but I think the 4 hours I've spent today getting our details down has left me shattered, but I do feel better that we have actually got it all down now. I think I need to buy myself a very cheap notebook to jot down all the ideas, so I have it to hand when I need it. I'm just so glad that I found MSE and am able to access all this information, so we will be ready to take action whatever might happen with DH's job.

Cheeselady

bottleofred wrote: »

Hi Cheeselady,

I've been there myself with the sleepless nights etc, but it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders when I started my monthly payments. It's difficult to imagine life without the cards and loans etc, but I was only just making the monthly payments and getting into more and more debt before I eventually realised enough was enough! As I said, a weight was lifted and it does get easier. And as many people will tell you, life certainly does go on without credit cards and loans etc.

Good luck in getting sorted soon

Bottle of Red

Thanks for telling me your story, I never realised before coming onto this forum just how many of us are in the same situation. Glad it's working out for you and you feel happier.

feedumall

it never ceases to amaze me how helpfull and lovely the people on here are,:T hope you are ok today cheeselady you have started on your debt free journey now:)xxfeed

Cheeselady

feedumall wrote: »

it never ceases to amaze me how helpfull and lovely the people on here are,:T hope you are ok today cheeselady you have started on your debt free journey now:)xxfeed

Hi there! Yes thanks, not as teary today, probably because I'm getting things done! The people here are great aren't they, don't knowwhat I would have done without having this forum to go to for advice and support, you are all fantastic.

miss_empty_piggy

Good Morning Cheeselady

Have just read through all of the posts on here. Glad to hear that you are feeling more positive. Well done and good luck for the future. x

Cheeselady

miss_empty_piggy wrote: »

Good Morning Cheeselady

Have just read through all of the posts on here. Glad to hear that you are feeling more positive. Well done and good luck for the future. x

Good morning to you too. :hello: Thanks for the good wishes, appreciate them. We did a lot of research and sorting out yesterday, and now have to wait and see what happens with DH's new business, we now know the worst case scenario, it's not nice but at least now we know all our options, and what might happen, rather than having a fear of the unknown, which is even worse.

We managed to get our SKY monthy payment reduced by £24 yesterday, that's for 6 months, so pleased about that, as every little helps!

churchrat

Hello cheeselady, just wanted to say "good morning" and welcome to the lovely world that is debt slaying. As others have said, most of us on here know the mindnumbingdeadofnightcryingshamefear that you feel at 2am when you are absolutly convinced that your world is about to come crashing down around your ears. It always looks better in the day light, and you can always come on here!

It will be a struggle, but it will get sorted, and you are starting to do that right now. I think its harder to do this as you get older, there is not very much of a time cushion,if you know what I mean. BUt it is def possible!!

goodluck, and keep posting

Cheeselady

churchrat wrote: »

Hello cheeselady, just wanted to say "good morning" and welcome to the lovely world that is debt slaying. As others have said, most of us on here know the mindnumbingdeadofnightcryingshamefear that you feel at 2am when you are absolutly convinced that your world is about to come crashing down around your ears. It always looks better in the day light, and you can always come on here!

It will be a struggle, but it will get sorted, and you are starting to do that right now. I think its harder to do this as you get older, there is not very much of a time cushion,if you know what I mean. BUt it is def possible!!

goodluck, and keep posting

Thanks for the welcome, you are so right that things always seem worse at night. I am definitely going to keep posting on here, it's been such a big help.

miss_empty_piggy

Good Morning Cheeselady

Well done on the reduction in SKY payments. :TLike you said every little helps, and it all adds up. Sending big hugs as always. :grouphug: Hope you have a good day today.

Take Care.

Cheeselady

miss_empty_piggy wrote: »

Good Morning Cheeselady

Well done on the reduction in SKY payments. :TLike you said every little helps, and it all adds up. Sending big hugs as always. :grouphug: Hope you have a good day today.

Take Care.

Thanks so much for the hugs! Just been to my private dentist today, for the last time, he was a brilliant dentist and with my fear and experience with dentists in the past, I am dreading having to find an NHS one, but have no other choice.

DH's new company has got off to a very slow start, so not making us feel brilliant, and I now have to write up a shopping list for Tesco tomorrow to try and do the shop for £50 again like last week, I guess there's nothing like a challenge is there?