No sleep

Cheeselady

I have just posted my Statement of Affairs here on a new thread on this forum (not sure if that was the right thing to do or not, but if a Mod needs to move it to this thread, please do so).

Very scary reading, but we have now taken the first step and got it all down on paper.

uk.debtfreewannabe

Thanks cheeselady...
It is so nice to hear comforting words...
I am so confused at the moment and don't know which way to turn, although it feels good to be able to confide in someone who is going through the same...

Cheeselady

uk.debtfreewannabe wrote: »

Thanks cheeselady...
It is so nice to hear comforting words...
I am so confused at the moment and don't know which way to turn, although it feels good to be able to confide in someone who is going through the same...

I think I'm going to be around these forums a lot, so don't hesitate if you want to talk, we can help each other.

jwil

Hi Cheeselady,

Well done on making that first step, there are always people here to talk to if you need to! It is really scary taking those first few steps, but it will be a weight off your shoulders when it is done.

Good luck with the debtbusting!

Uk.debtfreewanabee, why don't you start a thread with your SOA and peeps on here can help you out. You don't need to do this alone at all, even if you don't feel you can tell your DH yet.

uk.debtfreewannabe

Thanks cheeselady, I will def pop on for a chat if you're online...

and thanks jwil... I need to pull the confidence to do that yet!!! I'm a nervous wreck at the minute... (

jwil

uk.debtfreewannabe wrote: »

and thanks jwil... I need to pull the confidence to do that yet!!! I'm a nervous wreck at the minute... (

No worries, we are always here if you need us. I'm logging off now for a bit, but if you want to chat then PM me or pop over to my diary in the diaries section. You might find that getting it off your chest will help you feel better. Also, the benefit on here is that no one knows you so no one judges. Hugs to you x

uk.debtfreewannabe

Thanks JWIL I will defo have a look at your diary... (HUGS)

Hannah_10

Cheeselady wrote: »

I have just posted my Statement of Affairs here on a new thread on this forum (not sure if that was the right thing to do or not, but if a Mod needs to move it to this thread, please do so).

You were right to stick the SOA in another thread as I wouldn't have seen it otherwise.

For most of us the debt-free journey starts at rock bottom, often (read- usually) with tears. Feeling utterly totally shattered and terrified is usual, but information is the cure for fear. If something scares you then learn about it, learn what itcan and can't do to you, how it opperates, what its rules are. As someone said bankruptcy might not have the impact on hubby you first thought. Another enemy it pays to know are the DCA's (debt collection agencies). As you're going to be around a while why not start a diary on the dfw diaries bit and keep track of your progress. I like to keep my progress in my signature too.

I can't think of anyone who hasn't starte4d thier journey out of debt at rock bottom and in shreds, but we're all moving along. Me, well I'm at 11.72%, others are at more, others at less, some are currently static for a bit or on the slide, but we're all walking the same way as you. Having had a really serious look at your SOA on the other thread I can see why it scares you but I can also see massive scope for improvement. You income can be raised, your outgoings can be lowered and you debt problems can be addressed. Take comfort in the fact there is life after debt and most of the things you fear happening aren't ever going to if you know what to say. For example a baliff can't take your car or possessions if you know what you're doing, but before a baliff comes a CCJ- mostly a CCJ can be stopped from happening or at least made to happen on bearable terms. Before that even there's the process of getting a debt to court, we might be able to stop that happening... And so on. At every level of the fear chain for every eventuality that scares you then there are loads and loads of things you can learn that will help you.

The moment you have just reached, "the OMG we're in crisis" moment, it's as horrible and as bad and as scary as it gets. It doesn't get any worse than this, this bit right at the beginning where you're terrified of everything and have no idea what'll happen next is the scariest part. Everything after this is about aquiring more knowledge and putting it into practice. Including knowing yourself. You will come to scoff at the threatening letters because you know thier code of conduct better than they appear to, perhaps even to revel in them (I do so love it when a DCA oversteps thier mark- means I can set the regulatory bodies on them again- happy days!) After a while you get so savvy it hurts the creditors more than it hurts you, and along you go on your debt-free journey.

My mate Lisa went bankrupt. She says it's the best thing she ever did and can't believe she didn't do it sooner. "See that" I remember her saying, pointing to her pride and joy (little Honda 125cc motorcycle) "I wouldn't have ever had the money to insure it before". Lisa's insurance is under £130 a year. She's living again. So will you. Even if it comes to the worst case scenario- the big B.

Ellieseleven

Wow Hannah, what a great post! I think you have just summed up how many of us feel:T

bottleofred

Hi Cheeselady,

I've been there myself with the sleepless nights etc, but it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders when I started my monthly payments. It's difficult to imagine life without the cards and loans etc, but I was only just making the monthly payments and getting into more and more debt before I eventually realised enough was enough! As I said, a weight was lifted and it does get easier. And as many people will tell you, life certainly does go on without credit cards and loans etc.

Good luck in getting sorted soon

Bottle of Red