No sleep

dancingfairy

Hope you're feeling a little better now Cheeselady - hopefully you've managed to get out and take your mind off things and haven't been stuck in front of a computer all day (like me - oh well ).
Perhaps bankruptcy might help you out - you don't own your own house from the sounds of it so unless you have Picasso's stuffed behind the Sofa, perhaps it will give you a clean slate and allow you to move forward. It is perhaps not ideal and no one goes into it lightly but it's not like the old days- people don't get thrown in jail or anything. Maybe head over to the bankruptcy board and have a chat to them and see what they think?
Best of Luck sorting everything out and I hope your husbands jobs situation is sorted soon.
df

Cheeselady

determined_new_ms wrote: »

Really happy to hear your posts are sounding a little more positive Cheeselady. This forum got me through a really dark time at the beginning of the year. I felt so isolated and unhappy but I didn't want the facade that I was coping to ppl in the real world to crumble so I posted on the forum. The support I received really saw me through, made me see things in a different light, made me see things through the eyes of ppl who are kinder than I was being to myself. (I read through the comments repeatedly until I started to see the situation with new eyes, its amazing now to look back on how in 6 short month's things have changed for the better)

Know that there is no problem in the world that can't be resolved. Can't pay your debts at the rates you'd like? Ok so creditors will have to take reduced payments (if u aint got it they've got two choices: like it or NOTHING! ) Things are gonna be tough for a while? - well there's nothing like adversary to bring a family together! You're NOT letting your children down, not in the least. In fact quite the opposite, ur teaching them a vital lesson in life about the fluidity of life & money and how ppl have to be creative, work hard and ride the storm in difficult times.

Be strong, for yourself (first & foremost) and for your loving husand and children xx

Thanks so much for your very kind post, it really has helped. I have a tendency to dwell on the negative anyway, so will definitely keep reading the posts on here and try and get my head in a better place, I find the hardest thing is seeing my DH and the effect it's had on him. I too am trying to keep up the facade that everything is OK, so hope these forums will help me too. My daughter who's 20 has been told never to use a credit card, and I really hope she sticks with it, I never want my children to be in the position we are in now.

dancingfairy

Lol - credit cards have their place - I would only use them in the folowing circumstances
1) if you join up for a discount in a store etc or for cashback and PAY in FULL EACH MONTH.
2) for protection - if I was buying an expensive item - protection against the company not delvering/going bust eg for a holiday - provided I could PAY IN FULL.
3) in an emergency and I mean dire emergency.

The problem is the fact that people don't understand them and that they are given out like sweeties really with no thought as to how people can pay them back. If you are super discpiplined then they are fine.
df

CCCS_Sue

Cheeselady wrote: »

Thanks for your support, it's just thinking of the whole effect that DH losing his job is having on us, and how on earth we are going to sort everything out, especially worry about the effect it will have on our children. We have a CAP advisor coming in two weeks, and am trying to get DH to fill in the SOA, but know we have about 80,00 of debts, mostly credit cards/loans but including tax owing from when DH was self-emplyed, which is due in January next year, but it's difficult at the moment, he is attempting to start up a new company with some colleagues but I'm really worried about the pressure he's under, he lost his job due to his boss's embezellment of the company, he is heading towards 60 now so getting a new job if the new company doesn't work out, well the chances are pretty slim at that age. I have gone through our direct debits and cancelled some of them, for magazine subs and other things which aren't essential, and have cut my food bill down to half of what it used to be, but feel really alone as I have no family or friends to talk to, and can't even ring a helpline as I have a hearing problem. Sorry to ramble on.

Hi Cheeselady

Please don’t feel you have to struggle alone!

You say that you haven’t contacted a helpline as you have a hearing problem.

We can still offer you advice via our online facility called ‘Debt Remedy’.

Debt Remedy would assist you in completing a financial statement and you would be provided with tailored advice on the best way to deal with your situation. This link will take you directly to Debt Remedy www.cccs.co.uk/ref/drcu

Alternatively, you could ask your husband or authorise someone you could confide in, to do the appointment on your behalf.
The free helpline number is 0800 138 1111.

It would be helpful that when you call you have details ready regarding your income, expenditure and creditors, as this can help speed up the referral process. If you have this information ready it may be possible to refer you directly to a counsellor if one is available, otherwise we will arrange a time that is convenient for you to be called back for an appointment.
All our help is completely free and confidential and we are here to help!

Regards
Sue

Cheeselady

dancingfairy wrote: »

Lol - credit cards have their place - I would only use them in the folowing circumstances
1) if you join up for a discount in a store etc or for cashback and PAY in FULL EACH MONTH.
2) for protection - if I was buying an expensive item - protection against the company not delvering/going bust eg for a holiday - provided I could PAY IN FULL.
3) in an emergency and I mean dire emergency.

The problem is the fact that people don't understand them and that they are given out like sweeties really with no thought as to how people can pay them back. If you are super discpiplined then they are fine.
df

Exactly, and I know for a fact that my DD is not superdisciplined, hence the warning.

Cheeselady

CCCS_Sue wrote: »

Hi Cheeselady

Please don’t feel you have to struggle alone!

You say that you haven’t contacted a helpline as you have a hearing problem.

We can still offer you advice via our online facility called ‘Debt Remedy’.

Debt Remedy would assist you in completing a financial statement and you would be provided with tailored advice on the best way to deal with your situation. This link will take you directly to Debt Remedy

Alternatively, you could ask your husband or authorise someone you could confide in, to do the appointment on your behalf.
The free helpline number is 0800 138 1111.

It would be helpful that when you call you have details ready regarding your income, expenditure and creditors, as this can help speed up the referral process. If you have this information ready it may be possible to refer you directly to a counsellor if one is available, otherwise we will arrange a time that is convenient for you to be called back for an appointment.
All our help is completely free and confidential and we are here to help!

Regards
Sue

Thanks Sue, we do have a CAP Advisor calling to our home in a couple of weeks, but we may just do the debt remedy as well, I will show DH, as I need to get all the info from him re amounts etc. Thanks for your help, much appreciated. :T

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi cheese lady, just wanted to say hello and all the best xx

Cheeselady

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

Hi cheese lady, just wanted to say hello and all the best xx

Thank you and hello to you too, your signature is very inspiring!

Spirit_2

This site and this board will help you through. Mad as it sounds debt busting even gets to be quite enjoyable (at times).

Once your SOA is in place it will help to assess if you can do this under your own steam, need a DMP or for the sake of everyone look at bankruptcy. So you may have some hard decisions along the way but you will have people here, who understand, to talk to.

Good luck, keep posting.

feedumall

hi cheeselady please try not to worry im sure your children will be fine ,times were often hard when i was a child but you get through it we bounce easier when we are young,been there lying awake worrying about money but it will get better,if you cannot sleep you can always pm for a chat xxx feed