Help me please, I don't know what to do.

chevalier

desperatedad wrote:

My comments in Blue

I've been incredibly unhappy and I think my health and my mind has been effected in trying to control the situation and prevent it from effecting my family life. I battle with depression not debt, please see your Dr if you are having suicidal thoughts. Depression can be cyclical (ie you get a bit better then get worse again) if untreated.


Things got worse as interest piled up and eventually I lost about £500 a month in income through regular overtime that I had had for about 4-5years that had become like a part of my wage. Could you get a part time job to make this money back up?


I feel I was also mis-sold a payment protection plan (though partly my fauilt for not reading/understanding ALL the small print), but turns out the £65k we borrowed at the time (the most we could get at the time too) was now £80k due to the ppp which I later found out was a seperate loan added on top and it isn't possible to cancel it like on a credit card as it is part of the loan now.Who told you this? The person who sold you the loan. They are really going to tell you that yes you can cancel and not pay them more of your money:mad: PLEASE get some advice off the CAB because I don't believe this to be true.
However, we do get half the ppp back if we don't claim over the next few years so its not as bad as it could be. The total figure currently secured on the house now is about £230,000.

I did close all my accounts that were settled by the consolidation loan and have not taken out any new credit with any other companies, but when my beautiful little girl started nursary and what with all the other increases in the cost of living, I struggled for a year or so and started paying one card with another and I just about managed to get by for another 6-12months, until now that is.
Please check with both your places of work as to whether they do voucher schemes for child care. The money for them is taken off your gross pay, so you save the tax you pay on it, and costs the company nothing. This may help with your child care costs.
Also child minders can be cheaper than nurseries, so it may pay to look at this.
Are there any relatives that could look after your little one on rotation say for one day a week for free?

I currently owe the following :-

MBNA Visa £8000 (quite possibly the worst people I've ever dealt with)
Smile Visa £10500
Smile Loan £7900
Cahoot Loan £12000
Egg Loan £16300 (currently on payment break til nov so not aware situation)
HSBC Loan £14300
HSBC Visa £10000
HSBC Overdraft £2000

Totalling about £80k which makes me recoil in horror when I look at it and see I'm pretty much back where I started before I took out the consolidation loan. BUT at least this time you have realised you can not do this again. This is a positive change of behaviour!

The CCCS have therefore recommended a dmp based on a budget we drew up whereby I pay £258 a month in, but it will take 25years to repay at that level Yes it will take a long time, it is a lot of debt. Anyone who tells you you can do it for less without getting an inheritance, is almost certainly lieing!

and in that time who knows what might happen, you or other half may get promoted, you could find a better job anyway, you could retrain from home......:D The point I am trying to make is that changes that happen in your life don't HAVE to be negative....

plus I understand that my creditors will still hound me constantly for more money and I might face ccjs and ultimately having bailiffs in to take my posessions which again I can't put my family through. In the first instance to be frank, your credit rating is going to be so shot to bits, that getting a CCJ is not going to make it get worse!
Secondly if you do a DMP with CCCS, it will take a couple of months to sort out and set up. During that time then I believe that CCCS recommend you sending a covering letter explaining that you are handing over the administration of your debt to CCCS (and that enclosed is a token payment until CCCS contact them).Yes they will hound you for that time, including phone calls etc. But you just have to remain calm and tell them to direct their calls or letters to CCCS. But in general, due to the reputation of CCCS or Payplan creditors usually back off, and will often freeze interest on the debt as part of the deal.

A company called Accuma have offered to set up an IVA for £430 a month based on 'minimal fees' whatever they are, but that is a little more than I can realistically afford, but I was thinking if I can struggle through the first couple of years and I'm due some pay rises (though they tend to be very small) i might be able to knock this on the head in five years, but after 4 years they will take any equity I have in my house and force me to remortgage (I appreciate I may not have any equity by then anyway, but if I did, then I could be forcing my family out of our lovely home which we want to keep because we might not be able to afford the increased payments).
Sorry I don't know about this company, but if they are charging you fees, then DON'T touch them with a barge pole. Remember they will be doing exactly the same work as CCCS or Payplan who do it for FREE. Also a DMP is NOT the same as an IVA, it is much tougher. I am unsure how it works, but there is a lot less leeway in it than a DMP. And the bit about taking the house seems well dodgy


desperatedad

Yes there maybe people who think that you are a waste of space. I am not one of them. NOR SHOULD YOU BE. You are facing up to something very like an addiction, and it will be THE hardest thing you have ever had to do. BUT it can be done. There have been people with more personal debt than you:eek: But no many:D

To answer your specific question as to advice.
1) When checking your insurances, if you sign up to Quidco and go through them, you get cash back. There are other sites where you can sign up for surveys, or mystery shopper assignments, which you could both do and might help a bit.
2) Anything you haven't used for 6 months, put on ebay. You have to be drastic here, this includes the car that drinks too much, as well as any collections you have, or that prize album you love so much. None of them are worth losing your house over.
3) Ref selling your car. Once you have done that go to https://www.freecycle.org. They often have bikes on offer on there and they are FREE YES FREE to the person who collects them. It is also an excellent site for picking up clothes, cots etc, and yes they are all free, except for the petrol it takes you to collect them. You do have to join your local group (but this is free too)
4) Tell your wife, and if you can your parents. It would be better (though embarassing I know) to owe them some of this money rather than pay interest on the debt
5) If you have closed some accounts, you may want to look to see if you can claim back 6 years of charges on them. You will need your statments, but some people have got back several thousand pounds by being pesistent.

I also apologise for the long post. Best of luck
chev

Brassic

I can't offer much help (hardly qualified with my debts!) but just wanted to give you a virtual hug and say well done for realising that your family need you around at this time! You will get soo much help on this board I know, so well done for taking that first big step!

BertieMeldrew

First off... congrats for posting... it can't have been easy!

Please post the SOA asap... that will enable the great people on this site to start to help you. without seeing it it is hard to comment... but a combined income of £3400pcm must give some scope for reductions and savings for a family of three...

Good luck... the people on here will definitely help you out

lynzpower

Hi there

I must say I was very touched by your post. I can see clearly how this is effecting you. Well done for finding us and posting. A great deal of us have been burned by the consolidation then spend cycle that you have too, thats why we never recommend consolidation, weve all been there too. Dont forget companies do encourage bad financial management by saying Clear your debt with a loan etc. you have learned a life lesson. and thats a good thing, right I fully agree with the comments of Chevalier & Calleyw. Your health is the most important thing here and no one can take what you aint got.

POp up your SOA lets have a look to check. I do agree use quidco for cashback on insurances, switching suppliers and what not. Theres a lot f cash to be made through doing that.

Also with a little one Im sure you have loads of clothes and other baby bits, that you could sell and bring in extra cash. It all adds up, and is worth doing.

Anyway, not to overwhelm too much, big welcome from me and I hope you are feeling brighter this morning. I always think that the first post, even though its hard, its the beginning of the end of hell.

Lynz
x

Janey51

I swear the people on this board are like Guardian Angels. They are circling round looking for all of us who suddenly realise we're about to fall off the edge then, when you think you're about to slip off, down they swoop and start to lift you back up :A

desperatedad: There is always someone in your situation or worse. At the moment you are experiencing the initial panic reaction that we all go through. Wanting so much to protect your family but not knowing how.
Be proud you have taken the first step.
I wish you luck. Its not easy at first but things will settle down and you will be able to sleep at night sooner than you think.
And you will be able to give your children a precious gift in this day and age...a Dad who can teach them to face up to life's problems and not run away because he is strong and not frightened to ask for help.:beer:

quantumleap

Hi there desperatedad,

Please post again and make a point of stating in regular contact on this board. I can't offer any practical advice but it does seems that you've been offered some already.

My only suggestion would be that you rule nothing out until you fully understand and appreciate what is involved. For example, going bankrupt, it may well not be for you BUT I do think you shouldn't rule it out. It certainlt doesn't seem to have the same stigma attached to it as perhaps it once did.

I wish you well.

o_Looby_o

Hi

I can't offer much practical advice with regards to the debt you have, however I do think you should go see a doctor about your state of mind.

You may be suffering with depression. If you are then there are many things that can be done to help. I'm not just talking about popping pills and living in prozak town. There are a million and one herbal ways (which if you like advice on, please do not even hesitate contacting me - Ive studied Aromatherapy/alternative healing) to help with depression.

You say that you are not having such terrible thoughts now, but depression is not a 'constant' it moves up and down.

Having a positive attitude towards your debts will help you tackle them.

The people on this board are all fantastic and I'm sure they will not mind me saying that they are here for you to lean on. Think of them, as very classy walking sticks!

Anyways.. Sorry if I waffled and that I cannot help with moeny advice but remember, you have a whole bunch of people here who will not only offer advice but support. I think you are incredibley brave for writing on here and it obviously took alot of courage from you. You are facing up to your debt and the situation you are in, and that is the hardest and biggest step.

You will beat this...

calleyw

ts_aly2000 wrote:

Get the house in your wife's name NOW.

I would get legal advice before you do this. As I am sure that if you are seen as disposing of assets before you go bankrupt they will and can over turn it.

So would think very carefully before you go down the route.

I hope you are well. Having worked out your debts it can be a like a punch in the stomach. As has been said you have made the first step by coming here and admitting you have a problem.

Do please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on and we are here for when you get down and things get bad.

All the best.


Yours


Calley

sparkle84

ts_aly2000 wrote:

Get the house in your wife's name NOW.

Hi please don't do this it is illegal, the OR will reverse it and you may find he punishes you by not discharging you for several years.

However have said that i really feel bankrupcy it the way to go as you say there is no equity in the house any way you need to speak to an involvency practioner to get the best advice.

Accumen are rubbish, all IVA require fees however they will advise you to do an IVA wheather it is suitable or not.

Perhaps you speak to your local CAB office as if they have a debt advisor.

I really don't think a DMP for 25 years is the way forward

bigdec

dont give up as here you will get the best advice