UPDATED *its done!*Our buyer wants to bury their dead dog in our garden

Cloudane

henpecked1 wrote: »

The OH will go spare if she finds bits of dog on the shagpile.

every sodd ing morning

it's a dogs life.

This thread is a work of genius.

SURELY, with gems like these, the whole thing has to be a troll/hoax? (Wow, Martin Lewis, YHBT!) But anyway, bravo :T

loracan1

clutton wrote: »

=


"Did you have to fold her up to get her in dad ?"

out of the mouths of babes.....

I laughed out very loud when I read that bit - sure the neighbours think I'm barking...


And OP - come on, the latest installment?

clutton_2

i still laugh and i have heard it hundreds of times now... its become the "street joke" !!


someone in a supermarket today mentioned buying a Bag For Life - i had to look away VERY quickly to hide my uncontrollable giggles.....

henpecked1

Quite a day in the henpecked household and one I don't think I ever wish to repeat again. Now the Jones' have pulled out of the deal, they won't mind me posting todays events, in fact on the way out of the door Mr Jones said two things. One was "now, I hope you have had enough entertainment this afternoon to tell all your weido friends". The second I will come onto later.

So 12.30 comes and there is no sign. 1pm comes and still no sign of the dog removal family. I call the estate agent and he calls them and comes back to me at 2pm to say "Mr and Mrs Jones will be round at 3pm" no explanation given.

At 2.45ish I see a hire van reversing up the drive way and out gets Mr Jones and his brother. They approach the door as I open it and ask to be led to the garden. In hand they had a Tesco Bag For Life which contained various trowls etc. Brother holds a spade.

I decided against offering them tea. So out to the garden they went.

They ginergely scraped off the dirt between them until I could see the coloured top of the peg bag. It reminded me of that Brookside scene when they dug up Trevor Jordache as they both held their hands up to their noses. I was observing through the bedroom overlooking the garden as I didnt want to engage in chatter.

once they had scraped off the majority of the earth and tomato growing compost, I saw Mr Jones getting up and heading back in. I met him at the bottom of the stairs and he said he was nipping out to the van. He came back in with two 6 foot long garden canes (which started off a canine joke in my head and puzzlement of whether he was digging up the dog or using it to train the sweet peas )

I came back into the kitchen and watched the following happen.

Imagine if you will a dead dog laying on its side ina hole. Mr Jones stuck a garden cane through underneath the dog at both ends in an attempt i guess to use it to hoist the dog out. This plan failed then I was bending down in the cupboard getting a plate out for my sandwich I was making and I heard a cracking sound and the yell of the word 5H 1*. I looked out and saw Mr Jones at one side of the dog and brother at the other side both holding onto 3 foot of cane.

Mr Jones then went to the van and returned with the same blanket they brought the dog in on and a pair of marigolds. I watched, as I was grating the cheese, Mr Jones gagging as he bent down and pulled the dog out by its legs. I wont ever forget the image but it was clear to me then that no amount of Daz white will ever restore that peg back to its glory.

The brother didnt have any gloves so he emptied out his tesco bag and put in his hands as a makeshift glove. They heaved the dog onto the blanket. As I was putting the cheese on toast under the grill, I heard Mr Jones say to his bro, "right, I will go and open the van door and we will bring the dog through".

As Mr Jones came in I asked him "are you bringing the dog though like that". Mr Jones retorted "well, it's a bit late for walkies". At this point I felt the blood boil and I reaffirmed my understanding that the dog was going to be sealed before coming through the house".

"oh yes" he said " I read that on the internet". I'll phone Marian (the wife).

Mr Jones went outside, presumably to call his wife on the mobile as he was standing outside having a ciggie whilst on the phone". I came back in as I could smell the cheese on toast burning and as I was blowing out the flames, opening the windows and attending to the smoke alarmm I saw the brother taking the peg bag off the dogs face (still with his bags over his hands".

He shook off the loose bits of earth and then walked up to the kitchen window where I was and shoved it through the open window and left it on the window sill. I could see tiny maggots and the smell was horrible. I yelled at him to take the peg bag and stick it in the wheelie bin as I didnt want it in the kitchen. He smirked. Clearly he was on a wind up.

Mr Jones called through the front to say Mrs J was popping to the shop to get something if it would "make you happy". In the meantime, he called his brother through and went in the van to sit.

I am just washing up the plate when I hear a car pull up. I go to sit on the sofa to look out and I see Mrs Jones get out of the car and give her hubby a Coop bag. They exchange words with a little bit of him pointing to the house and then she gets back in the car and drives off.

Mr Jones and his brother (still smirking) comes back in and Mr Jones says "you know Marian is very upset with you for the comments you have made and she feels sorry your little story is going to end" I sat there on my itchy argos leather sofa in stunned silence as he produced from the bag three of those long packs of cling film.

They both walked to the garden and I am not making this up when I say this but they both were kneeling down by the dead dog wrapping it in clingfilm. What would have made it a comedy moment would have been to use the dogs teeth to cut the end off the clingfilm. Its a shame they didnt it would have dispersed my anger.If they werent removing this from the garden I would have thrown them out. I felt that there were deliberately winding me up (again leaving their shoes on throughout when walking over my carpet from being outside. I didnt know how to respond to this, afterall they were covering the dog as I asked. I guess bacofoil was too expensive.

After what seemed like an age, they finally brought in the dog dressed up like a party plate of food. It wasnt recognisable with all the soil matted in the fur and to be honest I could barely look. The smell was horrendous I doubt even fabreeze would sort it.

Anyway the load the dog in the van. Laughing to one another,

I then yell out "are you going to clear up the garden" Brother Jones gets into the van. Incensed I call out "you cant leave the garden like this".

Mr Jones then walks over to me and tells me that he hopes I have had enough entertainment, produces a £10 note from his pocket, gives it to me and says "here, cheer your wife up, buy her a new pag back and have your fish and chip night on us".

He then gets into the van and drives off.

So the reason i havent updated earlier today after they were gone as I have been up to my neck in soil, bleach and fabreeze. I have poured bucket loads of flashbleach in the hole and filled it in. I reckon I must have the cleanest garden in the street

I emailed the EA to defer any new pictures until I have tidied the garden but right now I am livid.:mad: I am going to talk to the solicitor on Monday regading how they left the garden

clutton_2

"its a bit late for walkies !!! - priceless... truly pricesless...

Running_On_Empty

Cling film?
Sandwich anyone?

sp1987

I literally cannot see why a family who had lost a dog would want to put on such a charade of idiocy (even if this thread is a total wind up there are many people who would!).

We bury animals that die (ours or wild ones) in the garden and there they stay. If I was to move house, I wouldn't dig them up and take them.

If they couldn't see what the hell they were up to then sorry but the people are fools. Surely this dog is going in the garden of their current house now, but they are looking to move? So will the dog have to move AGAIN in a few months time?!

I am a total animal lover but it goes against every fibre of my being to be carting a decomposing corpse around. Once the animal has died it's gone, you don't dig grandma up and move her with you if you move away from the local cemetary do you?!

hethmar

Oh dear, and there was me taking it seriously at the beginning of the thread.

Some genius stuff here though, well done. (pmsl, I see its mentioned as a member's true dilemma on the home page)

loracan1

I get the feeling they'll be taking it with them to bury wherever they happen to move to.

And Henpecked - how on earth could you make cheese on toast for your dinner when they're digging up a dog corpse and about to drag it through your house?

tsstss7

OMG I've just read this thread and have been sitting here with tears I'm lauging so much. I was even convinced it was true for a moment!!