UPDATED *its done!*Our buyer wants to bury their dead dog in our garden

clutton_2

LOL !!!

and so.. :rotfl:


Chapter II of the MSE-Dead-Dog-Cruise novel begins........

jointly authored by ..... Hen-Running.....

cant wait.....

Errata

Running - you'd be surprised how many cannabis plants can be grown in a suburban house over a period of a few weeks. Read your leccy meter before you sail over the horizon

MyRubyRed

This entire thread has made my year not just my day....pure MAGIC XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

lauraj_3

this thread has kept me entertained all afternoon!!!!! I have laughed my head off soooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!! Is any of this true?! If it is true then i feel really sorry for you 'henpecked1'! Sounds like a right palava!!! If it's not true then you should definitely be a comedy writer - unless you are already..?!! Actually even if it is true you should be a comedy writer!!!! You could have a regular artical in a newspaper or something maybe you already do i haven't laughed out loud on my own for ages but i have lots this afternoon!!!! thank you

henpecked1

Running_On_Empty wrote: »

I was thinking earlier that Henpecked did very well to keep us all so amused - obviously not all of us as some here believed every twist of each more preposterous statement as it gradually enfolded.
But, takes all sorts and I know I certainly used to believe every word printed in the News of the World til I realised they recycled the stories on a biennial cycle.

Then, this morning our EA phoned, joy of joys there's a potential buyer desperate to view and to confirm, have we got a fish pond and are we chain free and do we have a shed and so on.
Yes, yes yes, come round anytime, most welcome and I'll get the kettle on for them. Biscuits, too.

So in they troop, Mr and his wife, stepdaughter and her OH. Can't say they're that interested in the house itself, more keen to get up the top of the garden to have a look at the fish pond.
Actually we have two fish ponds, upper and lower.
This is a good area, you know, never make do with one when you can have two of a thing.

They were quite impressed that there were two ponds and they asked if the smaller upper pond was large enough to take all the fish from the large lower pond.
Yes, whatever you wish, says I, if you buy the house it'll be yours and you can easily transfer fish from lower to upper, here's the net, let me demonstrate.
Have you ever tried to catch a tiddler with a child's net? I did my best and luckily caught one of the more prime specimens and plop it was quickly in its new home in small upper pond.

Later, after I'd dried off and changed my shoes, socks and Sunday best trousers for a dry clean pair and after a bit of this and that chitchat over a cuppa and nice hobnob or three, they then dropped what I can only describe as a bit of a bombshell.

To cut the story short, they've just been let down by a most unhelpful seller, they need to move like yesterday like you know, as the stepdaughter so ineloquently phrased it. Could we consider a very quick sale? Yes, how quick?

So here's the deal, they're offering us the full asking price, yes, I know, gobsmacking to quote someone who's obviously never passed an exam in their life, on condition we accept their very generous offer of a free round the world cruise while the paperwork goes through.

Immediately I wonder why they would do this for us, after all I'm not daft, but they are insistent they love the ponds, particularly the large lower pond, the house, the area and that they simply want to move in as soon as. The other seller, Mr Unhelpfulness by sound of him, got shirty over something unspecified and they pulled out of the deal just last week.

We've left it that we'll think it over... HAHA.. nothing to think about really and let them know Monday morning.

BTW, the cruise was won in a comp and Mr has no sealegs; he did look a bit queasy at the ponds come to think, and ship departs Southampton on Wednesday.

So, if you're still awake at the back, what do you think?

Is it a bit of a risk to give them the keys while we swan off round the Easter Islands and let them move in before the legals have been completed?

I don't want to start a new thread for this question as Henpecked did such a wonderful job of attracting a very wise circle of commentators and want to tap into your views here.

I promised Mr Jones that I'd be in touch tomorrow so soon as you can let me know your views, I'd be most grateful.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
I am not sure if he is the same Mr Jones as it is a common name, but did his eyes light up when he saw your pegbag hanging up?

Anyway joking aside, I have now restored the garden to its former glory. I now have a wonderful rockery (thanks to the church ruins at the end of the village) which is now lit up with my restored garden lights. Actually, i think it looks alright and the Mrs is pleased, so much so she gave me that look tonight which can only mean one thing.... she is driving to the chippie!

Running_On_Empty

Am I reading you correctly, Henpecked?
You say Jones is a common name but not in these parts, we don't do common, normally, although I will admit I thought the stepdaughter was not quite from the top drawer, her having those hooped earrings large enough for dolphins to jump through and the like. The family did look rather askance at the sugar nips when my Wifey produced the tea. Surely, everyone knows how to use sugar nips? They are only sterling silver, mind, we don't get out the gold ones except when the Countess of D from the Big House calls.
Can you offer any advice on how to deal with them if indeed they are same Jones's that you had dealings with?
I am wondering why they took such a keen interest in large pond. Oh dear.
Quite safe on the pegbag front, Wifey keeps that under wraps along with her other girly things such as the iron and the saucepans and the dishrag.

clutton_2

HP1 - ""I have now restored the garden to its former glory""

if you have done this in less than a day - you are DEFO my HERO and pleeeease will you come and do my lawn and flowerbeds....

pretty purleeease.. !

clutton_2

Running O. E. ""other girly things such as the iron"

we all know what non-"girly" things happened with an iron in EAstenders a few years back....

repeat such posts AT YOUR PERIL




now where DID i hide that ironing board....

Running_On_Empty

Now look here, Clutton my lad, I don't know anything about Eastenders so would be obliged if you'd spell it out.

Running_On_Empty

Oh dear, the swingers thread has been closed.
Shame on them.
Never mind, Henpecked will be along in a minute to start us all off another of his brilliant tangents.