would you have a baby without any family support at all around?

red_devil

Found a website where there are plenty of people offering to be granparents and families wanting grandparents.

Debt_Free_Dreamer

We have no family.

Just myself and the OH to take care of our 2 kids.

My parents both died before the kids were born, I was pregnant with the 1st when my dad died. My mother would have been very involed, so that is quite sad.

My OH's dad died when our eldest was about 2 - he had never seen her, so no help there.

His mother is still around, but she has seen our kids around 5 times in total, usually at a family gathering at someone elses house. She has come to my home twice. Once to each home we have owned.

It can be hard and I am often jealous of mates who have great grandparents, but we work around it. So we can spend time without the kids, my OH will meet me for lunch while the kids are at school/creche. We go out in the evening once or twice per year. But I would not change it. They are our kids, not our parents at the end of the day and if they choose not to be part of their lives, well that is their loss.

So no, not having a family would not deter me from having kids of my own. We can manage without help and support and my partner is a great hands on dad, which is probably more important than any help from grandparents.

DON79

My husband and I have no family near at all - nearest is about 5 hours drive away. We have two children & number 3 on the way. It would be nice to have family closer now and again as I miss my sister & she misses my kids too. Also on special occasions like wedding anniversary, I know she would let us have a night out on our own without kids in tow. We never get to go out on our own at all.

Rockporkchop

I used to have close family living locally but it took us over thirteen years from the "planning a baby" to the "actually having a baby" stage, so unfortunately everyone of any importance had dropped dead in that time. I have triplets who are nearly two years old and although I am enjoying them immensely now and finding it much easier, the first eighteen months was so hard I used to cry myself to sleep at night.

My husband is fantastic and a wonderful father but not a day goes by where I don't wish that things could be different. My own grandparents were a huge influence on my young life and it breaks my heart that my children won't have that experience. It would be a dream come true for me to have any sort of help with the children that we don't have to pay for.

red_devil

Rockporkchop wrote: »

I used to have close family living locally but it took us over thirteen years from the "planning a baby" to the "actually having a baby" stage, so unfortunately everyone of any importance had dropped dead in that time. I have triplets who are nearly two years old and although I am enjoying them immensely now and finding it much easier, the first eighteen months was so hard I used to cry myself to sleep at night.

My husband is fantastic and a wonderful father but not a day goes by where I don't wish that things could be different. My own grandparents were a huge influence on my young life and it breaks my heart that my children won't have that experience. It would be a dream come true for me to have any sort of help with the children that we don't have to pay for.

lots of people have a need for surrogate grandparents. I think its quite popular and mutually beneficial. There is a website devoted to it but i dont know anyone who has undertaken it.

Rockporkchop

Surrogate grandparents would be wonderful and we did briefly look into it but I was a bit worried about the security and safety aspect. Also it seems like there are barely enough hours in the day for the basics at the moment and I didn't want to invite someone new into our lives and have to let them down if the children are sick or if either of us has to work. I will definitely bear it in mind for the future.

To answer your question though, no it didn't put me off having children but if I had known then what I know now I would have done my utmost to start a family in my early twenties, so I would have a family around me. My own mum was a childminder so would have been a wonderful grandmother.

andrealm

Rockporkchop wrote: »

Surrogate grandparents would be wonderful and we did briefly look into it but I was a bit worried about the security and safety aspect. Also it seems like there are barely enough hours in the day for the basics at the moment and I didn't want to invite someone new into our lives and have to let them down if the children are sick or if either of us has to work. I will definitely bear it in mind for the future.

To answer your question though, no it didn't put me off having children but if I had known then what I know now I would have done my utmost to start a family in my early twenties, so I would have a family around me. My own mum was a childminder so would have been a wonderful grandmother.

Have you thought about contacting Homestart? They can help by matching you up with a volunteer who would come round to help, usually once a week for a couple of hours.

JBD

red_devil wrote: »

Found a website where there are plenty of people offering to be granparents and families wanting grandparents.

That sounds like a lovely idea red devil. It is sad to think there are old people who are lonely yet still have a lot to offer.

Oldernotwiser

Chakani wrote: »

You said with no family around, and in the context of moving closer to family, I apologise if my reply was not what you were looking for :silenced:

But you did say you had family only an hour away.

property.advert

I think the support network really coming into its own, though we had next to none, when both parties have to work. If one of you can stay at home, then life is so much easier. With two working, you are both continually tired, arguments can ensue and you get no respite. If you have help and / or family, then you have trustworthy on hand help.