would you have a baby without any family support at all around?

mrsvicx

I would have to say that I have been rather spoiled with help from family with my DS, who is now 3. Both sets of parents live very close by and are very involved and have been since day 1. If they hadnt have been around, it wouldnt have put me off having children, but it would have been harder to manage. I would have wanted a close support network of friends to halp with advise etc...

ellay864

When we had our two lads my mum was 300 miles away and doesn't drive, MIL/FIL were about an hour away but didnt drive, and FIL passed away just before DS2 was born. We had no family support to immediately call on - mum visited us about 3-4 times a year and on a couple of occasions if we were going out in Liverpool we could leave kids at MILs. But generally no on hand family support. When DSs were 7 and 5 my now ex left me for another woman and went to live an hours drive away. He still had boys every other weekend and part of the hols but it meant I had no family or OH to call on in any emergency situations
But family aside, you will find you make friends through ante-natal classes, mums & tots groups, nursery, primary school etc etc. I had great support from those - babysitting circles where we all sat for each other so no costs involved. If you have a baby make sure you get as involved as you can that way - it's good for babies/toddlers to mix with other kids and you gain a support network. And they have the bonus of being used to babies now (my MIL couldnt 'work' disposable nappies, and my mum struggled with 'these new fangled pushchair contraptions') and they won't try to interfere

daphne_descends

.............

gratefulforhelp_2

If you have a supportive partner, no problem. I had DD1 with no family support near. It is easier with, but you also get more interference!

freebiequennie

we are due to have our first baby in 4wks time and all our family are 200 miles away, we will manage my mum is coming to stay for a week (9 days after I have baby) as I am having a c-section.

Yes sometimes think it would be nice to be nearer family but positive is that you dont get caught up in lots of family dramas being away from them!!!

Poly,put_the_kettle_on

I was 17, had just moved away from home to another town, and DH was away a lot of the time lorry driving when eldest DD was born. We had no help at all, but we managed admirably. Fast forward a year and a half, and we moved across country to stay with the in-laws whilst we saved for a deposit- the house we'd been renting really wasn't (what with the slugs coming through the rotten floor) suitable for a toddler. Living with the MIL was hell, she undermined me at every turn, upset DD's routine constantly, and belittled me as often as she breathed.

Sometimes, going it alone is the best way

brians_daughter

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

As long as I had my husband, that would be all the family support I would need.

ONW i have always thought you were a 'he'! I now assume you aren't seeing as we are talking of having kids..and you mention your hubby! Why did i think you were a man?? Or have i got the wrong end of the stick...again!

Anyway, what a wonderful comment! My oh is away a lot atm with work, so i quite like having my family on hand for me to vent to at times!

no1catman

When you decide to have children - it is your responsibility. No one else's. So any 'family support' is a bonus not a condition. Besides, isn't it presumptions to assume the 'family' will be there at all times, when you need!?
We have a neighbour who has just given birth, but it's as if she can't cope on her own, or her parents don't trust her to. They invariably come to visit her - often three times a day - !!!!!!. What did they forget to do or say the first time, let alone the second!? And when they don't come, it because she, OH & baby go to the parents first!
Why are they so incapable of just getting on with it?

What makes it worse, is that they hijack our front verge to park on!

Alias_Omega

Mrs Alias had our baby about 11 days ago.

We have no family around. They are about 3,000miles away.


We live in Cyprus, Our Family live in the UK

red_devil

no1catman wrote: »

When you decide to have children - it is your responsibility. No one else's. So any 'family support' is a bonus not a condition. Besides, isn't it presumptions to assume the 'family' will be there at all times, when you need!?
We have a neighbour who has just given birth, but it's as if she can't cope on her own, or her parents don't trust her to. They invariably come to visit her - often three times a day - !!!!!!. What did they forget to do or say the first time, let alone the second!? And when they don't come, it because she, OH & baby go to the parents first!
Why are they so incapable of just getting on with it?

What makes it worse, is that they hijack our front verge to park on!

what about things like presents for the kids on their birthdays etc no just family support?