In a massive mess

OrkneyStar

RoxieW wrote: »

thank you but i dont think all of your suggestions are realistic. I cant get all 3 childrens haircuts, my husband and myself cut and coloured for £20. Our holidays are booked. I need to work this out further. Kids activities I've added up as £40 per week - plus the usual once weekly kids party so £50 a week which is more than I guestimated.

I agree I need to make big cuts. But it needs to be realistic in order to stick to it.

Get clippers and do your OH's (and any kids if they are boys)- I taught myself and if I can you can! As for cut and coloured- you don't need that every month. Get home hair dye and get a basic trim every 6-8 weeks, try the local college or see if salon has training nights!
Also, I say this to anyone on a budget and/or in debt- value life in ways other than money and budgetting becomes so much easier! All the best. You have a good income, please be sensible with what you have, and don't end up in £30K debt instead of £3K!

casperlarue

Your youngest child has an amazing social calendar if he goes swimming, 2 playgroups and the playcentre every week! That's £25 alone on him, does a 1 year old really need that much expensive entertaining?

Playgroups - yes, they are good places for kids to interact and there are usually lots of activities going on. Swimming - well, more like splashing about in armbands at this age, but good experience and confidence builder. Playcenter - could you not take your own food, or isn't that allowed?

And you must have the stamina of an ox to keep that timetable up with 3 kids! Well done you!

property.advert

The OP has not had her LBM as she is still going on about £20 curries and a tea time meal whilst £1000+ is walking out of the front door every month on overindulgence on shopping, clothes and entertainment.

Sod the £20 curries, they are not the problem, losing £500 and not knowing where it went and so forth is where the problem lies. Tinkering is not going to help when a fundamental overhaul is needed.

If I were her husband I'd have taken her cards as well and she wouldn't have got £200 for the week either.

Foundational

I won't repeat others' advice but home in on one expense - the playcentre at £15 pw for your youngest: absolutely unnecessary and a complete waste of money. This will ahve to stop if you are serious about cutting back and getting straight. You can do this, but this kind of spend, well it's a luxury you can't afford. Our two children have only ever been to those places for other kids' birthday parties. They haven't suffered for this, I can say with certianty.

Best wishes

Foundational

Verbatim

There's a lot of finger wagging and "musts" being thrown at you Roxie. No wonder so many people don't dare to post an SOA!
You have a good income and a small debt and you've realized that a change is needed before a bigger problem develops.
We all have different circumstances (and incomes) and because some people have had to make big sacrifices and live very frugally it doesn't mean everyone has to, or should. I'm sure you'll make decisions that are good for your family.

RoxieW

property.advert wrote: »

The OP has not had her LBM as she is still going on about £20 curries and a tea time meal whilst £1000+ is walking out of the front door every month on overindulgence on shopping, clothes and entertainment.

Sod the £20 curries, they are not the problem, losing £500 and not knowing where it went and so forth is where the problem lies. Tinkering is not going to help when a fundamental overhaul is needed.

If I were her husband I'd have taken her cards as well and she wouldn't have got £200 for the week either.

But its ok for him to spend £500 on a pointless gadget that we dont actually need or want?
I know there is a problem with spending but I dont like the fact that he is blaming me for it soley and now treating me like a child.

RoxieW

Foundational wrote: »

I won't repeat others' advice but home in on one expense - the playcentre at £15 pw for your youngest: absolutely unnecessary and a complete waste of money. This will ahve to stop if you are serious about cutting back and getting straight. You can do this, but this kind of spend, well it's a luxury you can't afford. Our two children have only ever been to those places for other kids' birthday parties. They haven't suffered for this, I can say with certianty.

Best wishes

Foundational

Hi
I know its expensive but there arent that many places to go near me and I dont have a car.
Abit of background, I developed severe agoraphobia postnatally after my oldest child and at one point hardly left the house for 8mths. To combat this I like to do something out of the house pretty much everyday. If I stay home I start to fall into a rut and depression and dont want to leave. I am lucky that there are two cheap playgroups during the week. But other than that it is playcentre or park and we all know what the great british weather is like.
When we do go to the playcentre it is a full day out as it is an hours walk away - which is why we have lunch there.

RoxieW

casperlarue wrote: »

Your youngest child has an amazing social calendar if he goes swimming, 2 playgroups and the playcentre every week! That's £25 alone on him, does a 1 year old really need that much expensive entertaining?

Playgroups - yes, they are good places for kids to interact and there are usually lots of activities going on. Swimming - well, more like splashing about in armbands at this age, but good experience and confidence builder. Playcenter - could you not take your own food, or isn't that allowed?

And you must have the stamina of an ox to keep that timetable up with 3 kids! Well done you!

No taking your own food is not allowed and no i dont have the stamina of an ox. i am knackered.

RoxieW

kaz0705 wrote: »

Hi Roxie,

Don't be too down- you've caught this early and it's very fixable!

I guess my 2 pence would be have you OH have his own bank account where 'spending money' is placed each month (after you've done your MSE to shopping etc so assuming there is money left over!). That way he can attempt to be responsible for himself and can choose to buy whichever gadgets he wants. You could also have a separate one and, maybe, another one (all opened through topcashback or something!) for 'joint' spending?

Also, shopping online is a good way to keep track of your spending, especially for all your store cupboard stuff (then Lidls for fruit/veg) and pound shops for cleaning products (all branded! I only found this out last weekend!).

Finally, maybe offer to do more entertaining at home? Saves on babysitters, taxis, massive restaurant mark ups and your friends will probably appreciate the chance to avoid spending. The money you save could mean that you don't even need to cook and can have a take away instead!

Best of luck!

x

thank you.

I think us entertaining at home is part of the problem. We tend to do the majority of the inviting and provide food/drinks/entertainment for friends. We fell into this habit so that we wouldnt have to find a babysitter but now it is expected and taken for granted and costs us quite alot. Shall be knocking it on the head.

RAS

RoxieW wrote: »

thank you.

I think us entertaining at home is part of the problem. We tend to do the majority of the inviting and provide food/drinks/entertainment for friends. We fell into this habit so that we wouldnt have to find a babysitter but now it is expected and taken for granted and costs us quite alot. Shall be knocking it on the head.

Good idea.

Has OH returned your cards yet?