In a massive mess

bouncydog1

On the matter of the ipad, suggest you use this as the marker for the last of the old ways of spending - o.k. you are still going to have to pay for it, but it is going to cause real issues if OH says he can't send it back.

Lather it on about what a great birthday you had all spending quality time together rather than going out and keep on in there making savings where you can. If your OH keeps spending then you will need to get tough and decide exactly what you want.

Oh and on the spending on the kids, lots of ladies have had "guilt of the working mother" syndrome where they have had friends who have unlimited incomes and don't work, and they feel they have to spoil their own children so they are not deprived!

You have luckily put the brakes on while you still have time to turn things around - keep up your enthusiasm and when you feel your resolve wearing thin get on here and post! Just think how good you are going to feel knowing that you have no debt (probably unlike lots of the mothers you meet who have to have the latest handbag just so people know how "well off" they are - lots of them probably have debt up to their ears and haven't yet had their LBM)!

daniel_owen_uk

That ipad will come in handy for your spend diary

Glad you had a good birthday, sounds like the OH had good intentions.

Not a criticism, but an observation, you say your husband doesn't realise where the money goes! (you can see what's coming next), You need to show him then!

Seriously I am in a similar situation, out at work all day, missus at home with the kids (although she does work PT), I get very little expendable income, as a result of the missus spending loads. I don't resent her at all, because I know she is frugal with our pennies.

When we did our spend diary it showed lots of areas where we spent our expendable income (mainly smoking). As a result we quit smoking and now have much more cash to spend on the things we like.

Information is the key, record all your spends so when the husband goes up the wall and says "WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SPENDING OUR MONEY ON", you can calmly say "well actually I budgeted well and bought the essentials with a small amount of money and you blew it all on M&S luxuries".

Information is Key!

http://www.spendingdiary.com/

dancingfairy

Roxie - sounds like you had a good birthday without spending loads. I agree with the person who said make it known to your OH how fab your birthday was and wasn't it brilliant that it didn't cost loads (ipad excluded). :j:j
Onwards and upwards.
df

jonjamie1970

RAS wrote: »

You may not be aware, but this forum is for help not judgement.

If you have good tips for the OP on how to live on less, please contribute.

If you want make judgement, please go to one of the discussion forums where this is acceptable.

Hardly judgemental

jonjamie1970

RAS wrote: »

Regarding the e-bay - is youyr money going into a joint account or into one that you can access. Do not sell stuff unless you can get hold of the money.

Regarding OH, I am soirry but this is very porr behaviour; gross lack of respect for you.

I would start by getting hold of all the credit card and bank accounts for the last four months, then go through them and allocate every single spend you know about to different catagories, as per the SOA.

However for cash, mark whether it was on your card or his. For anything non-priority spends, mark my spend, his spends, ents, days out, gadgets, household (new casserole).

His response to this is OTT and completely unacceptable.

Hmm, judgemental by the head of the judgemental police !!

At least practice what you preach rather than commenting on everybody elses opinion and then doing it yourself.

Ivory towers and all that